Discussion
  • Read More
    benjaminalloverMelissa Cronin
    10/17/15 12:13pm

    “That was shrinkage for me,” said Justin Bieber, confirming the fact that, despite media reports, he remains a nightmare human.

    You know what? He’s 21 year old dummy. YOU have just published this blog’s 5th article on nonconsensual pictures of this 21 year old dummy’s dick. If he’s a nightmare human, what are you Melissa?

    ETA: Jesus fucking Christ you guys. This is gross.

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      MeatBuoybenjaminallover
      10/17/15 12:20pm

      Let’s call someone a nighmare so we can profit off of some weirdo taking naked pictures of him!

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      Hello_Madam_Presidentbenjaminallover
      10/17/15 12:25pm

      I know - I’m not like, a fan or anything, but what are we expecting from him?? I can’t imagine what it feels like to have your privacy so horribly invaded, and then to have the world gawking at and criticizing your naked body when you didn’t put yourself out for that in the first place. Like goddammit.

      Also, highlighting his defensiveness of his penis size (and making fun of him for that defensiveness with a “yeah, surrrre buddy” undertone) feels pretty body shame-y.

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    Fapple PaltrowMelissa Cronin
    10/17/15 12:01pm

    That was def a 3/4 post-fuck chub...but I applaud his effort

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      99Telep☺dpr☹blemsFapple Paltrow
      10/17/15 1:10pm

      Sounds like something you’d buy at the butcher shop.

      How ya doin’, Barney? Yeah, I’ll take a couple rib eyes and throw in a three-quarter post-fuck chub for the missus.

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      RooseveltsRevengeFapple Paltrow
      10/17/15 2:31pm

      I said that immediately.

      He’s not stupid. No way he walks outside naked without a 3/4 chub. He’s Justin beiber. Someone is taking his picture.

      His “that was shrinkage” comment just proves it. If he really had a dick that big, he wouldn’t feel the need to brag.

      I hate this kid with a passion.

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    Rom RombertsMelissa Cronin
    10/17/15 12:04pm

    Please trust that when conditions are optimal, my sex organ is larger than a Ford Fiesta. Now give me some privacy as I use this forklift to transport my incredible phallus into the storage garage.

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      AndrewMclMelissa Cronin
      10/17/15 11:57am

      That was a minimum quarter chub.

      Reply
      <
      • Read More
        phunkshunAndrewMcl
        10/17/15 12:01pm

        Seriously. That’s ‘already had some blood flowing’ hang-down.

        Reply
        <
      • Read More
        nohyphensphunkshun
        10/17/15 12:16pm

        obvs just-got-done-banging-that-mystery-person-in-robe chub

        Reply
        <
    • Read More
      HappyPapsmearMelissa Cronin
      10/17/15 11:58am

      Shrinkage in tropical French Polynesia? Nope. Stop trying so hard after folks already paid a compliment.

      Reply
      <
      • Read More
        Mrs.Choate PFLAG GrandmaMelissa Cronin
        10/17/15 12:24pm

        “Like, I feel like I can’t step outside and feel like I can go outside naked.” Translation: “I’m going to stage a future photo with the paparazzi when I am better prepared to engorge my public image. This may involve an enhanced semi, a full-on boner, a stunt penis, or a big-dicked doppelgänger.”

        His dick is fine. Is he good in bed is what actually matters. Egomaniacs usually suck in bed, no matter how hung they are. He should be thankful that his dick isn’t as big as his ego as it would make copulation with another human physically impossible.

        Reply
        <
        • Read More
          StudioToddMrs.Choate PFLAG Grandma
          10/17/15 1:17pm

          In my experience (and there’s been probably way more than I deserve), the bigger the dick, the less the guy feels any need to even try to be good in bed.

          In fact, the guy I had sex with who had the biggest penis I have ever seen in captivity (easily 12+ inches) was hands-down the most boring fuck I have ever endured. He just laid there and expected me to do all the work. Incredible visuals (it stayed rock hard and sooo huge), but because of it, people go koo-koo-for-cock on him and he’s never had to learn the art of reciprocity. Or the art of even slightly moving around, apparently.

          Afterwards, I was told by a friend that I’m not the first person to complain about it, so at least I know it wasn’t necessarily about me.

          Reply
          <
      • Read More
        EldritchMelissa Cronin
        10/17/15 12:11pm

        I wish I could open my skull like the professor from The Nightmare Before Christmas. That way I could remove my brain, scrub it raw and dunk it in bleach. Even then I doubt I would ever feel clean.

        Reply
        <
        • Read More
          Aunty_Socialite_Pt2Melissa Cronin
          10/17/15 4:46pm

          There isn’t a chance in hell, coming off of the “Bieber’s dick was photoshopped” kerfuffle, that this wasn’t an entirely invented photo op.

          His tiny little ego got hurt, and he had to do something to ‘disprove’ the rumors, hence:

          totally not on purpose, completely accidental half mast weenie flash.

          Reply
          <
          • Read More
            MisterPigginsMelissa Cronin
            10/17/15 5:55pm

            I’m betting the whole thing was faked and staged.

            Reply
            <
            • Read More
              Defender90CAMelissa Cronin
              10/17/15 11:55am

              Like... no.

              Reply
              <
              • Read More
                pleasepleasepleaseletmegetwhatiwantDefender90CA
                10/17/15 12:02pm
                Reply
                <