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    Morifarty's ringtoneKelly Faircloth
    10/15/15 10:28am

    Okay but also bike lanes should be banned in general because cyclists should be banned because they never FUCKING FOLLOW THE RULES OF THE GODDAMN ROAD YOU CANNOT RUN A FUCKING STOP SIGN I AM IN A GIANT METAL TWO TON CYCLIST KILLING MACHINE YOU GODDAMN MORONS

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      SprocheteMorifarty's ringtone
      10/15/15 10:34am

      Yes, dear. And drivers should be banned because they never follow the rules of the gorram road. And pedestrians should be banned because they can’t figure out what gorram crosswalks are for. Ban everyone! Except me, I’m perfect.

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      MessO'Espresso is a noodle-bodied slothSprochete
      10/15/15 10:37am

      As a DC pedestrian, I’m now more fearful of cyclists than drivers...it’s a mess.

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    Ellis BellKelly Faircloth
    10/15/15 10:20am

    This is very near me. Before people jump to say, “Oh my god, MORE religious liberty nonsense?” this is actually quite a different situation. This area is almost always a mess; DC traffic is already a nightmare, but we have a lovely convention center into which tens of thousands of people pour into weekly on top of it.

    Also, we do have weird cycling politics. Struggle over road space is a daily problem, and it’s gotten pretty bad in the past few years. It’s all wrapped up in gentrification and competition for sweet sweet city space.

    It’s very cool to see something so local on Jezebel but I just wanted to point out some of the city realities before it gets bundled into other religious liberty nonsense.

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      darleeeeeene aka deraaiilleeeeeeneEllis Bell
      10/15/15 10:27am

      I can appreciate that, but this isn’t impeding their religious liberty. There are other arguments that can be made, but this is a silly one.

      They should get together with other local business owners (i know a church isn’t a business, but I mean others who need parking available) and prove that traffic is already out of control and would be made worse.

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      andthenshewaslikeEllis Bell
      10/15/15 10:31am

      It’s been a while, but DC’s mass transit is not horrible, right? So why not discourage people from driving in the most congested areas?

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    benjaminalloverKelly Faircloth
    10/15/15 10:16am

    If it’s too congested and expensive for churches to be in a particular area, is that really a violation of their rights? Do they have a constitutional right to prime urban real estate? I think not.

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      teagurlbenjaminallover
      10/15/15 10:32am

      I’m not convinced that churches are “fleeing to the suburbs” because they’re being persecuted, but rather because all their congregants are moving out there and prefer to attend churches closer to their homes. Of course parking is a nightmare if no one lives nearby. Your one morning a week doesn’t get to dictate city planning for the other 6 and a half.

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      Queen of Bithyniabenjaminallover
      10/15/15 10:35am

      There’s still poors who haven’t been pushed out of all the “prime urban real estate” in some cities. If their congregants live nearby, it may be a genuine hardship for some of them to get out to the suburbs or wherever. (Plus, most of the DC suburbs seem pretty full of “prime real estate”, at least from what I’ve seen there.)

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    Queen of BithyniaKelly Faircloth
    10/15/15 10:18am

    So is there evidence that they are actually targeting black churches? I mean, while it’s hard to imagine a governmental body enforcing rules in a racist way, anything’s possible.

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      benjaminalloverQueen of Bithynia
      10/15/15 10:22am

      If they feel they’re being targeted with parking issues, why don’t they support the bike lanes, which should help with traffic and parking congestion overall?

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      KateFromIowaQueen of Bithynia
      10/15/15 10:32am

      *shrug* THat's my dad and step mother's church, so even though I hate (that particular set up of) bike lanes, fuck those people in particular.

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    fortheloveofbeetsKelly Faircloth
    10/15/15 10:19am

    I guess the “goes to church” demographic and the “rides a bike” demographic don’t overlap?

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      Ellis Bellfortheloveofbeets
      10/15/15 10:24am

      It’s a historically black church in what used to be a majority black neighborhood. The bikers are generally white millennials. So no.

      (I live blocks away from this church and this biker vs. everyone else issue is like a constant in everyone’s lives, ha)

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      fortheloveofbeetsEllis Bell
      10/15/15 10:39am

      I was only being semi-serious, but yeah, I certainly understand the gentrification issue.

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    True DetectiveKelly Faircloth
    10/15/15 10:12am

    JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL!!!!!

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      puttputtbuttTrue Detective
      10/15/15 10:16am

      **Handlebars

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      Imperator FuriosaTrue Detective
      10/15/15 10:17am
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    cafedarknessKelly Faircloth
    10/15/15 10:18am

    It’s because a lot of these church goers have historically been allowed to double park in DC for Sunday church service. The bike lanes wouldn’t allow for that.

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      Snacky_Onassiscafedarkness
      10/15/15 10:22am

      They do this in Chicago too. Drives me nuts.

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      cafedarknessSnacky_Onassis
      10/15/15 10:24am

      I live in a part of DC that isn’t affected by double parking for church services, but a lot of my friends are boxed in their parking spots for pretty much 1/2 of Sunday.

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    SprocheteKelly Faircloth
    10/15/15 10:16am
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      SprocheteKelly Faircloth
      10/15/15 10:36am

      We have big parking problems here in the Boston area, too. A lot of urban churches are using vans to pick up their parrishoners and take them home again. Saves the hassle of parking, and makes it easier for the elderly to get to church.

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        MessO'Espresso is a noodle-bodied slothSprochete
        10/15/15 10:52am

        Yeah, some of the churches in DC seem to have their own bus too, though it seems mainly for the elderly.

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        adultosaur married anna on the astral planeSprochete
        10/15/15 12:14pm

        my neighborhood recently brought a letter to a local church asking them to have congregants park elsewhere- SUPER limited parking in my neighborhood...and on sundays the high school (1 block away, you can see the church) let’s you park in their lot. residents could actually park near their houses, and they would be near the church.

        but then the city made it all resident parking only so that was that.

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      Snacky_OnassisKelly Faircloth
      10/15/15 10:16am

      Boy says to his dad “can I borrow the keys to the car”

      Dad says “not until you cut that hair”

      Boy says “but dad, Jesus had long hair”

      Dad says “yeah, but Jesus walked everywhere”

      This is a joke from a Silver Jews song.

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        gawkiedogSnacky_Onassis
        10/15/15 11:32am

        Goddamn it David Berman, come back!

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        Snacky_Onassisgawkiedog
        10/15/15 12:33pm

        Who else would shoe horn a joke like that into a song?

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