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    QuanYinTracy Moore
    10/08/15 12:14pm

    My now-wife told me, about a year after we got married, that she didn’t like how I kiss her.

    I was totally surprised to hear this, and actually really hurt by it, especially since it was just something that she said, without offering any assistance or details. I asked her to explain, and to help me figure out what she was looking for, and she would just sort of shrug and imply that I should just... know. My response to this information was to just not kiss her anymore. Shocklingly, when we ended up on the verge of divorce several years later and went to see a marriage counselor, the subject came up again. The therapist was totally floored that my wife had just put that out there without any attempt at helping me to solve what had become a huge problem for her. So, like, you can’t just tell someone they’re a bad kisser, then act like it’s not your job to help, and then be pissed off that your partner never kisses you anymore. It turned out to be a minor thing that was not a big deal to change, but I’m not going to lie- I’m still pissed off that she was such an asshole about it at the time, and I’m horribly self-conscious about it still.

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      crankylittlephotonQuanYin
      10/08/15 12:16pm

      Honest question: How should she have handled it?

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      sssssssQuanYin
      10/08/15 12:50pm

      Did you at least google? Seriously, that’s what a woman would do. She’d figure it out her damn self, buying 3 books in the process.

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    SodburgerTracy Moore
    10/08/15 11:59am

    ACtually thinking about the mechanics behind kissing is so so gross. I can’t believe we all just run around sticking our tongues into other people’s mouths (and crotches). And then complain when someone double dips in the salsa bowl.

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      Sita pt.3 *sigh*Sodburger
      10/08/15 12:07pm

      also I don’t understand why people who are sexing each other up on the regular are super disgusted at even the thought of using the other person’s toothbrush. it’s like - you literally stuck your tongue in their mouth and wiggled it around. you probably also had your mouth on their genitalia. Using that toothbrush won’t kill you.

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      FrolickingGiantSodburger
      10/08/15 12:11pm

      Totally. Have you ever had a moment when you’re mid kiss and you’re just like WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE DOING?? It happens to me too often. Humans are fucking weird.

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    andsmokeit is mrs tormund giantsbaneTracy Moore
    10/08/15 11:55am

    His lips are pursed, not tender, his tongue juts in and out

    my body is tensed in annoyance and sexual displeasure just thinking about how this even works

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      GELLA - LLAPandsmokeit is mrs tormund giantsbane
      10/08/15 11:59am

      Just like 50 shades of garbage

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      queenoftheforestandsmokeit is mrs tormund giantsbane
      10/08/15 12:02pm

      Sounds like a gecko kiss.

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    Sita pt.3 *sigh*Tracy Moore
    10/08/15 11:57am

    I mean, I get your point, but some people deserve to be informed about all their flaws. To get their ego down and closer to the size of their decency.

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      Sita pt.3 *sigh*Sita pt.3 *sigh*
      10/08/15 12:00pm

      example : lax bros who’re offended you won’t sleep with them bc they thought they were doing you a favour going out with you in the first place.

      also applies to frat bros, lumberjack bros, football bros, golf bros, bohemian bros, nihilist bros, etc

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      PhyllisNeflerSita pt.3 *sigh*
      10/08/15 12:04pm

      i just got distracted, thinking about lumberjacks.

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    The Otters Knew Alex Was Still AroundTracy Moore
    10/08/15 12:13pm

    So how then do I solve my issue with my boyfriend which is this: he isn’t a bad kisser at all, but when we are in the foreplay stages, if we are making out and he starts doing something with his hands, he just ... stops whatever he is doing with his mouth, and my face is sort of trapped with his motionless lips pinning me down. I have tried “leading” in that I sort of ... you know, keep lip stuff happening. But like, his mouth gets really hard and unresponsive. I end up usually putting my hands on either side of his face to give myself a bit of wiggle room, and then eventually, he sort of wants to go back to this weird ... I don’t even know what to call it ... so I flip us over so as least I’m not being pinned down.

    I’m sorry if this doesn’t make sense. I don’t know how to explain it. It’s really weird because he is a very very good kisser otherwise. But bad at multitasking?

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      Cool yer heels, MabelThe Otters Knew Alex Was Still Around
      10/08/15 12:21pm

      Have had this happen a few times with husband. I also chalk it up to not being able to multi-task. Usually, I’ll just re-direct him or ,alternately, just give up on the kissing and get into whatever’s going on now.

      Though part of me wants to scream, “Hey, you’re not in high school! You should not be so enthralled and mesmerized with having your fingers in my crotch that you lose all sense of anything else, FFS.”

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      The Otters Knew Alex Was Still AroundCool yer heels, Mabel
      10/08/15 12:25pm

      I’ve attempted the redirect, and he just seems to want to go back to resting his face on mine. Which is ... not amazing. I’m not shy about asking for what I want, or putting his hands where I want them, but I can’t seem to get him to pick up on the fact that I am uncomfortable being held down by his head. So yeah, I usually just switch over to the next stage of things.

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    FrolickingGiantTracy Moore
    10/08/15 12:04pm

    I feel like I’m super unforgiving about this. Maybe I should work on “taking the kissing lead”.

    For me if the kiss doesn’t feel right and it doesn’t feel like there is chemistry, I kind of just move on. I’m sure there are other ladies out there who appreciate this fine fellows kissing, but I tend to just not want to waste my time. But maybe that’s something I need to rethink....

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      bwrites enjoyed the time we shared togetherFrolickingGiant
      10/08/15 12:08pm

      I think there’s a difference between a lack of chemistry kiss and a plain old terrible kiss.

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      FrolickingGiantbwrites enjoyed the time we shared together
      10/08/15 12:09pm

      This is true. I also honestly have not encountered a truly “bad” kisser since I was a teenager. Just people who had a kissing style I was not feeling. (ie. too much tongue/too little tongue/SUPER wet)

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    PhyllisNeflerTracy Moore
    10/08/15 12:02pm

    how about give it a minute?

    not with a tight lipped jabber. this will never get better. ever. this person thinks this is okay and therefore has no idea what is good. hard line. if you kiss like this it is bad and no one likes it.

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      PhyllisNeflerPhyllisNefler
      10/08/15 12:08pm

      also. if you never tell someone (or at least try to guide them), they’re just going to keep running around inflicting this ick on others and wondering why they can’t get anyone’s clothes off.

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      sklayPhyllisNefler
      10/08/15 1:26pm

      My first serious boyfriend was a terrible kisser at first. I really didn’t see us being together forever (we had a good 5 years) so I took it as my responsibility to correct his kissing technique for the benefit of any future ladies in his life.

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    alucard1138Tracy Moore
    10/08/15 11:52am

    I draw faces on my hand and practice making out with it. Working my way up to the French style.

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      Slut Panicalucard1138
      10/08/15 12:03pm

      Ooo la la...

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      Octopit didn't choose the burrito life, the burrito life chose octopit.alucard1138
      10/08/15 12:08pm

      On which hand? OR IS IT BOTH HANDS? You hussy.

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    Omar Bradley LittleTracy Moore
    10/08/15 12:23pm

    As a glasses wearer, rule number one if you know you’re going to be in for a long kiss/make out: take the glasses off. The last thing you want is greasy face schmear all over your corrective lenses.

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      darleeeeeene aka deraaiilleeeeeeneOmar Bradley Little
      10/08/15 3:22pm

      My 20/20 sighted boyfriend thinks its funny to touch or lick my lenses...saying that i shouldn’t get mad “in a world with windex”.

      Seriously, its a miracle I haven’t murdered him yet.

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      Omar Bradley Littledarleeeeeene aka deraaiilleeeeeene
      10/08/15 4:25pm

      Lick? Gross. I’ll sometimes run my finger across somebodies lens if I’m really pissed at them, but even then...it has to be some serious business for me to do that.

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    CatAssTracy Moore
    10/08/15 12:22pm

    I have an ex who has the pointiest nose ever...he used to constantly poke me in the eye when we kissed. So annoying.

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      MarillenbaumCatAss
      10/08/15 1:40pm

      My new boy-person has a really big nose. It gets in the way sometimes.

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      CatAssMarillenbaum
      10/08/15 2:20pm

      So awkward! Sometimes Mr. Pointy Nose’s pointy nose would effective close one of my nostrils, making make-outs that much more like awkward tandem diving. Lemme get some air, Beaky!*

      (*I am still friends with this ex, love him dearly, and think his nose is perfectly lovely.)

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