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    A Small TurnipHelen Holmes
    10/05/15 12:45am

    I’ve never seen any of the Kardashian shows (I think I saw a sneaker ad with Kim and Kris once?), so I have no personal stake in the War of Kardashian Independence. But I will confess this: the deep, bubbling, effervescent joy I feel when watching people LOSE THEIR FUCKING MINDS about this family is profound. It’s such a wonderful, sustaining delight to witness folks getting outraged about utterly inconsequential shit. It’s like watching my tabby cat have a fur-prickling hissy fit whenever a bluejay flaps past her window. No stakes. Galactic hate. A joy forever.

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      SadfacerealsadfacedA Small Turnip
      10/05/15 1:49am

      Any magazine that shows Burt Reynolds’ dick is always relevant.

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      TroublefaceA Small Turnip
      10/05/15 2:49am

      I think it’s the fact that the Kardashians are inconsequential and yet have been elevated to their current status by the masses that makes people upset. It makes me upset. If the masses find these assholes even mildly entertaining, then the masses have a laughably, pathetically low intellectual stimulation threshold. I mean that. The Kardashians do and are nothing. If their antics are all it takes to entertain a person, that’s just sad.

      P.S.: I used to work on this show at Bunim-Murray Productions. Contrary to the article, these people are not “friendly.” They are terrible. We had one handicapped spot in the building’s parking lot. We also had one handicapped guy in a wheelchair who legit needed it every day. Guess who parked there whenever they fucking felt like it? These herpetic assholes. In their tacky white and glitter Range Rover, no less. Entitled, whiny, delusional, plastic brats, all of them.

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    Inspector SpacetimeHelen Holmes
    10/05/15 12:12am

    Oooooh, this comment section is going to be fun!

    The only part I disagree with is how good they look on this cover. Obvi Khloe looks great, but what is going on with Kim and Kylie? Their faces just look...off.

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      LILLADYLIZInspector Spacetime
      10/05/15 12:15am

      There's something kind of weird about the whole picture - kourtney looks like she'd rather be ANYWHERE else

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      Birds.fly.to.the.skyInspector Spacetime
      10/05/15 12:17am

      Khloe is giving those eyes.

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    TheGartsideofGreenHelen Holmes
    10/05/15 12:32am

    It may not be fair, the nature of LA being what it is, and the latter’s elder sisters serving as precedents (rather than the homophone), and being that I recall what it’s like to be a strong-minded 17 year old and so forth...yet still I could not resist dusting this off.

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      Socraticsilence TheGartsideofGreen
      10/05/15 1:46am

      Negotiating nude photo rights vs. negotiating College acceptance deadlines?

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      Still Cat from MATheGartsideofGreen
      10/05/15 1:59am

      Dynamic First Lady and caring mother vs. Pimp Mama. There it is.

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    phxdownHelen Holmes
    10/05/15 12:23am

    People have to stop getting offended on other people’s behalf. I doubt the Obamas care that this family is being feted by Cosmo.

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      LILLADYLIZphxdown
      10/05/15 12:29am

      Really though. And the phrase first family of this or First Lady of that has been used to describe celebrities in other scenarios I think

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      A Small Turnipphxdown
      10/05/15 12:31am

      Yup. If I know anything about the Obamas, it's that they're not insecure crybabies whose dignity is threatened by a handful of harmless reality stars

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    OtherhandHelen Holmes
    10/05/15 12:22am

    I choose to believe that the headline is a sly, jokey reference to the phenomenon wherein teens scramble to comment “first” as soon as their fave posts content to social media.

    That’s quite a reach. Also not really what “first” is about, nor a new teen thing.

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      ariesdragon123Otherhand
      10/05/15 1:23am

      Yeah, and “First” is so fucking internet old that it might as well be keyboard cat.

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      Otherhandariesdragon123
      10/05/15 2:43am

      Might it even be 20 years old? I was trying to think when it first became annoying, which was definitely at least 15 years ago.

      oh what have i become

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    AlexTrebeksBeardHelen Holmes
    10/05/15 12:40am

    Cosmopolitan is still relevant?

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      whassaAlexTrebeksBeard
      10/05/15 12:43am

      Not even the littlest bit.

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      Queen of BithyniaAlexTrebeksBeard
      10/05/15 1:08am

      Where the hell else are we going to get bad ideas for sex acts delivered with that much alliteration? “Thirty-Six Ways to Drive Your Man WILD” doesn’t fucking write itself, you know.

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    tealstarHelen Holmes
    10/05/15 1:37am

    I don’t really get the Kardashians and their popularity. I don’t watch the show, I don’t have the apps, etc. They are clearly great at selling their brand. But it seems so boring.

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      LILLADYLIZtealstar
      10/05/15 1:45am

      Their show is addictive. Give it a try if you're into reality TV

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      Troublefacetealstar
      10/05/15 2:52am

      These people are nothing and the fact that they’re popular among the masses is distressing to me. If the masses find these assholes even mildly entertaining, then the masses have a laughably, pathetically low intellectual stimulation threshold. I mean that. The Kardashians do and are nothing. If their antics are all it takes to entertain a person, that’s just sad.

      P.S.: I used to work on this show at Bunim-Murray Productions. Contrary to the article, these people are not “friendly.” They are terrible. We had one handicapped spot in the building’s parking lot. We also had one handicapped guy in a wheelchair who legit needed it every day. Guess who parked there whenever they fucking felt like it? These herpetic assholes. In their tacky white and glitter Range Rover, no less. Entitled, whiny, delusional, plastic brats, all of them.

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    kshortie16Helen Holmes
    10/05/15 12:41am
    GIF

    Let these snatched, overly contoured broads have their glossy mag cover. It’s not one of any real importance, so why care?

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      Nsalawkshortie16
      10/05/15 1:39am

      “Overly contoured broads.” Magnifique.

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      College Granddadkshortie16
      10/05/15 3:26pm

      This is really how I felt about this. I’m not a fan of “there are more important things to worry about” but.........

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    Queen of BithyniaHelen Holmes
    10/05/15 1:04am

    It is simply outrageous that these Armenians have displaced our Kenyan first family in America’s affections.

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      NC StephyPQueen of Bithynia
      10/05/15 1:54am

      Thanks Marriage Equality!

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      Marlene FreaktrickNC StephyP
      10/05/15 4:01am

      Thanks Obama

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    Peppermint PettyHelen Holmes
    10/05/15 12:21am

    I hate that we let them bait us into giving their shitty magazine and that wack family more coverage.

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      Sita pt.3 *sigh*Peppermint Petty
      10/05/15 12:48am

      it’s a nightmarish cycle, innit?

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