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    jeanneeeJoanna Rothkopf
    10/02/15 6:29pm

    Yeesh. I don’t know which would be preferable, weighing 420 lbs or having horrendous gas and diarrhea all the time.

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      FIGJAMjeanneee
      10/02/15 6:36pm

      One would think those would be mutually exlusive.

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      Kim Jong's Angstjeanneee
      10/02/15 6:37pm

      Nothing smells as bad as skinny feels.

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    FIGJAMJoanna Rothkopf
    10/02/15 6:35pm

    Wonder how bad business can be when they’ve got distribution contracts to Wal-Mart, Costco, and Sam’s Club. Never had the product myself but it appears from their website to bascally be a kind of SPAM.

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      Blue LionFIGJAM
      10/02/15 7:13pm

      Jersey native here. Pork roll is infinitely preferable to Spam, especially when served on a hard roll with scrambled eggs on top.

      Another Jersey specialty is scrapple, and that, too, is infinitely preferable to Spam.

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      Tiger LeeBlue Lion
      10/02/15 7:18pm

      Taylor ham / pork roll in the bomb. I think scrapple is more PA.

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    randilynisFINDILYNJoanna Rothkopf
    10/02/15 6:39pm

    I thought the story was going to be set in a Whoopie Cushion factory.

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      My dear, sweet brother Numsie!randilynisFINDILYN
      10/02/15 6:44pm

      More like Whoopie Cochon factory.

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      The Otters Knew Alex Was Still AroundrandilynisFINDILYN
      10/02/15 6:44pm

      Not going to lie. I’m a little sad it isn’t.

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    grapesIickJoanna Rothkopf
    10/02/15 6:41pm

    My SO had a situation like this in his workplace, some years back- his co-worker’s gastric bypass resulted in not only the room clearing farts but shit-smeared toilet seats. Not sure how management handled things, although it was generally agreed something had to be done. Can you imagine having to have that conversation with someone? Trying to be all corporate about it? “It has come to our attention that, uh, some personal issues you’ve been having have been affecting your co-workers.” Or something.

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      DominacgrapesIick
      10/02/15 7:12pm

      Oh it sucks. I’ve had to tell an employee that she smelled like cat piss. Another one that he needed to use deodorant. Another that her clothes need to be ironed and free of cat hair when coming to work.

      The best was having to tell a very religious employee that she should not wear a thong with a loose skirt as her underwear was up her ass and others thought she wasn't wearing any. I also had to coach this person that hickeys are not appropriate neckwear.

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      grapesIickDominac
      10/02/15 7:14pm

      I can’t imagine- makes me squirm just thinking about it. Hope you’re well compensated because that does indeed suck!

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    NeoNailsJoanna Rothkopf
    10/02/15 6:40pm

    I work at a law firm in Jersey and we were discussing this today. It was... a super awkward conversation.

    We are such weird fucking New Jerseyans. And Trentonians.

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      Blue LionNeoNails
      10/02/15 7:14pm

      My younger brother graduated from Trenton State. He wasn’t enamored of the city, but raved about the local pizza.

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      NeoNailsBlue Lion
      10/02/15 8:23pm

      No lie. We make the bitchingest pizza. I know everyone says “New York” and “Chicago,” but fuck that, a Trenton tomato pie is as good as it gets.

      Go to one of the DeLorenzo’s if you ever get the chance.

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    VonQuesoJoanna Rothkopf
    10/02/15 6:26pm

    I’m just pleased we’re bringing back investifarting.

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      RealWorldCamelVonQueso
      10/02/15 7:59pm

      So many glorious and important things have come from Boston (like every comedian, fucking AMERICA, Boston Cream Pie, etc.), but the Globe’s accidental coinage of the phrase “investifarting” is officially the greatest thing that city has ever produced.

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      NewsBunnyRealWorldCamel
      10/03/15 8:52am

      The Globe gets cheeky once in a while.

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    $kaycogJoanna Rothkopf
    10/02/15 6:36pm
    GIF

    My favorite fart gif.

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      Chariotoflove$kaycog
      10/02/15 6:42pm

      This is only funny if

      1. you have never been on the receiving end of one of these baby sniper farts, or

      2. you have been a victim and are now watching it happen to someone else.

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      $kaycogChariotoflove
      10/02/15 6:44pm

      The second one for me.

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    ninjavitisJoanna Rothkopf
    10/02/15 6:25pm

    what do you call a teacher that won’t fart in public?

    A private tooter!

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      Lisbeth Salamanderninjavitis
      10/02/15 6:39pm

      The content I come here for.

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      LILLADYLIZninjavitis
      10/02/15 6:56pm

      This is a GREAT dumb joke.

      Want to hear my favorite?

      What did ancient Egyptians call cat’s buttholes?

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    My dear, sweet brother Numsie!Joanna Rothkopf
    10/02/15 6:42pm

    I worked with someone who had a gastric bypass. There was flatus, but I had a much harder time with her breath, which constantly smelled strongly of dry mouth burps and protein farts. I guess the gas bubbles were traveling up as well as down. It didn’t help that she was a closetalker =/

    I just left a bunch of packages of those Ice Breaker half gum/half mints laying around. Thankfully she took the hint and helped herself from then on out with no embarrassing conversation.

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      LILLADYLIZMy dear, sweet brother Numsie!
      10/02/15 7:00pm

      Oh god. A friend of mine dated a girl who had halitosis and her breath smelled like “she ate a bowl of microwaved poop for breakfast” so he just made a habit of always chewing gum and always offering her a piece

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      accordingtoLILLADYLIZ
      10/03/15 12:32am

      how do these people not KNOW?

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    Little Green FrogJoanna Rothkopf
    10/02/15 6:54pm

    The guy who sit across from my cube farts a lot. Very loud. But since it doesn’t smell I just try to not get grossed out and go on with my day.

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      Burner613Little Green Frog
      10/02/15 7:13pm

      Me too! He also groans/moans all the time. Something like when you are trying to suppress a burb or hold in a poo. I find that more annoying than the farting.

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      Jettgirl24Little Green Frog
      10/02/15 7:14pm

      I’m not sure what’s worse... That or my cube neighbor, who flosses his teeth at his desk. He flossed four times throughout the day yesterday. It’s so, so disgusting.

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