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    XofMarie Lodi
    9/12/15 5:51pm
    GIF
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      DuchessCrazyLindaXof
      9/12/15 5:57pm

      That’s who I immediately thought of.

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      XofDuchessCrazyLinda
      9/12/15 6:01pm

      Of course sweetie darling.

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    NerdlingersMarie Lodi
    9/12/15 5:33pm

    Do you girls want a little bit of cocaine? Because if you are going to get high I’d rather you do it in the house.

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      Murray_PresentNerdlingers
      9/12/15 6:04pm

      “A little bit of cocaine...” are words that just don’t seem to belong in the same sentence.

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      storedenergyMurray_Present
      9/12/15 9:11pm

      My brother went through substance abuse counseling with a program that taught moderation...which is fine for alcohol but they also were applying the same principles to cocaine which just seemed...not quite right.

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    NeverMindEdithMarie Lodi
    9/12/15 5:30pm

    For my 18th birthday, I moved out and my mom found my condoms under my old bed and brought them to my new apartment with a bow on it and said, “You left these. I figured your party would be better with them.” It’s no blow in a limo, but my mom knew what was up.

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      opheeliaNeverMindEdith
      9/12/15 11:20pm

      Ummm can we have a Pissing Contest for weirdest birthday gifts? 10/10, would read more.

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    Mr.Noir, Liberal Hippie KingMarie Lodi
    9/12/15 5:27pm

    That’s one hell of a gift.... Now I know what to ask for my upcoming birthday.

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      My dear, sweet brother Numsie!Mr.Noir, Liberal Hippie King
      9/12/15 5:51pm
      GIF
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      opheeliaMr.Noir, Liberal Hippie King
      9/12/15 11:19pm

      Happy Birthday!

      I’ll forget otherwise.

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    KatMarloweMarie Lodi
    9/12/15 6:10pm

    If the ‘80s taught us anything, it’s the importance of parents and children spending quality time, bonding over mutual interests.

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      KanyeMadePaulKatMarlowe
      9/13/15 7:25am

      Raise your hand if remembering that commercial makes you feel old...

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      goddessoftransitoryKanyeMadePaul
      9/13/15 12:33pm

      We are now older than the dad in that PSA.

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    My dear, sweet brother Numsie!Marie Lodi
    9/12/15 6:03pm
    GIF
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      storedenergyMy dear, sweet brother Numsie!
      9/12/15 9:13pm

      Pam is the best thing ever but I agree with Archer; I like her better when she's not a drug addict.

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    CaveyMarie Lodi
    9/12/15 5:35pm

    How is it less of a penalty if it was for someone else and how does the prosecutor disprove that?

    “No dad, I’m not stealing these beers for me, they are for my buddy”

    “Well I was going to ground you for 2 weeks, but since you say you were stealing for someone else, you only get 1 week.”

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      stephkat716Cavey
      9/12/15 7:05pm

      I think what they mean is that she wasn’t going to sell it.

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      ChocokittyCavey
      9/12/15 10:36pm


      Personal use versus intent to distribute. She’s a cokehead, not a dealer.

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    fighting polish is David Schwimmer as Rob Kardashian SrMarie Lodi
    9/12/15 5:22pm

    lady’s not wrong

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      LimaBeansMarie Lodi
      9/12/15 5:28pm

      Can I invite this lady to my birthday party?

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        Anonymous HoBagLimaBeans
        9/12/15 6:10pm

        Only if you invite me too. I’ll bring the straws.

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        xeosLimaBeans
        9/12/15 7:17pm

        This was my first thought too.

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      KallieMarie Lodi
      9/12/15 5:41pm

      At my 19th birthday dinner, my mom screamed at the waiter filling my water glass that I wasn’t 21 and couldn’t have wine*. She actually held her hand over it so he couldn’t pour anything in it. My father told him that I was not a Mogwai so could have the water. I’m pretty sure my mother and this girl’s mother are from different planets.

      *As a fun side note, I was hungover as fuck at the time.

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