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    It's Like That AndAllie Jones
    8/21/15 11:25pm

    Fucking religious nutjobs can justify anything!! Part of me says stop reporting on them, but then part of me wants the Gawker destruction machine to take hold and NEVER LET GO.

    ETA: Also, what does asking forgiveness “to” God mean? It’s this religious repurposing of English, like the fucking Doo-gars (what I call them even though gf hates it) and the, “well, we were purposing to [insert hypocritical statement trading on the backs of their victims].”

    I am drunk. And angry. AND STILL IN MICHIGAN!

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      spatoolaIt's Like That And
      8/21/15 11:31pm

      It’s not justified if it’s just them bible quoting. If they were true to the bible we’d all get to drop rocks on their sorry asses and split up their money.

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      Elizabeth MillsIt's Like That And
      8/21/15 11:34pm

      Sorry about the Michigan thing. I escaped!

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    cancanstanAllie Jones
    8/21/15 11:39pm

    I wonder what needed to get cut after fleshy desires and sinful curiosities?

    Sam: ...It’s not about these rusty trombone, and dirty sanchez. It’s not about rainbow showers and camel-toe slide, and your Cincinnati bowtie, your Arabian goggles or the hot carl and pearl necklace, or pussy juice cocktails, and the jagged-head dildos, and the double-decker pussies. Shit stained balls, and cum swapping, and the hanging brain, it’s not about the rattlesnake wiggle, and the alligator fuck house, donkey-punching, the tea-bagging—

    Nia: Cut.

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      nikkisixxcancanstan
      8/21/15 11:53pm

      I had to open a second tab just to copy and paste and learn all these terms.

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      cancanstannikkisixx
      8/21/15 11:58pm

      I should do the same thing, I don't even know what I just said.

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    toothpetardAllie Jones
    8/21/15 11:23pm

    What does he think about giving away all his money to the poor?

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      Kyuzotoothpetard
      8/21/15 11:24pm

      Being an actual Christian is a real pain in the ass.

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      ImmediateLoadtoothpetard
      8/21/15 11:25pm

      I can guess.

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    gramercypoliceAllie Jones
    8/22/15 12:05am

    He can fuck a can of peaches for all I care. But anyone who repeatedly addresses other people as “Guys”, as in “Hi, guys! It’s me!” should be tied up in a rough burlap sack with a pissed-off honey badger, tossed into an open mine shaft, and forgotten until a small basket is lowered days later to rescue the poor honey badger.

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      FriendofWoodenCanoegramercypolice
      8/22/15 2:08am

      Remind me never to piss you off.

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      Missypoo50gramercypolice
      8/22/15 2:55am

      I feel really drawn to you. Could we be best friends?

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    greenmelindaAllie Jones
    8/21/15 11:25pm

    So like, did God vlog his forgiveness? Because if God doesn’t post his response on YouTube, I’m not buying it.

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      sunburninatorgreenmelinda
      8/21/15 11:53pm

      I’m more interested in hearing from Jesus on this one, since it might be news to him that he died on the cross so this guy could sign up for a website for cheaters.

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      beatrixkiddogreenmelinda
      8/22/15 8:45am

      God subtweets.

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    Arctic16Allie Jones
    8/21/15 11:29pm

    I'm going to start using this more. Hey, worry I got wasted, slapped your girlfriend and smoked all your weed, but God has forgiven me now.

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      Desi_RelafordArctic16
      8/21/15 11:43pm

      Now was this before or after you activated your YouTube account?

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      CatoleenaDesi_Relaford
      8/21/15 11:49pm

      That was my favorite part.

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    NewYorkCynicAllie Jones
    8/21/15 11:26pm

    They are actors capitalizing on gullibility. This incident, along with their response, is more likely to benefit them than hurt them.

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      TheSingularityNewYorkCynic
      8/21/15 11:34pm

      I despise these assholes. DESPISE. Karma take the fucking wheel, do you hear me KARMA?! TAKE THE FUCKING WHEEL.

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      TheSingularityNewYorkCynic
      8/21/15 11:44pm

      Think of all the “Good Christians” who find themselves in this same scenario, and want a public example of how easy forgiveness and moving forward with God’s “A-Okay” is. This is solid gold verification for fundamentalists who need the sympathy of their spouses and community.

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    The Alvin Greene DreamAllie Jones
    8/21/15 11:33pm

    “I brought this to my church at the time. When I first started ... the church that I’m at now ... this has been brought to my discipleship partner.”


    Is this a church or a Narcotics Anonymous meeting?

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      Loose CannonThe Alvin Greene Dream
      8/21/15 11:40pm

      I immediately was thinking more “accountabilibuddy.”

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      Jerry-NetherlandThe Alvin Greene Dream
      8/21/15 11:41pm

      NA is yet to come; there’s clearly, at the very least, some Provigil going on there.

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    HypnoCatAllie Jones
    8/21/15 11:37pm

    His wife may have forgiven him, but can she forgive herself for what she’s done to her eyebrows?

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      JustMulderHypnoCat
      8/21/15 11:46pm

      As someone born so blonde my eyebrows are invisible and a source of consistent ridicule.. Nerppppp. That sin is totally unforgivable and god is gonna send her to hell with a unibrow for eternity.

      But, for reals, I thought I was the only one, mouth-gaping at the brows. Like wowsers.

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      Hyacinth BouquetHypnoCat
      8/22/15 12:09am

      Oh, how I love you right now for that glorious comment :D

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    ad infinitumAllie Jones
    8/22/15 12:25am

    This is the truly fabulous thing about being a Christian. You get to “sin” as much as everyone else—it just doesn’t count when you do it, because Jesus.

    Pretty much exactly why anti-abortion women have abortion rates identical to the rest of us heathens.

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      jilliebellead infinitum
      8/22/15 2:18am

      And the anti-abortion women who have abortions have them because “this was just one mistake and it shouldn’t ruin my life.” As if every other woman in the clinic’s waiting room has unprotected sex with everyone they meet and is using abortion as birth control. That’s what gets me about this particular self-righteous brand of Christianity-they and their sect are the only ones who are even trying to be good people (in their view). Everyone else is just acting on every animal instinct they have and sinning every chance they get. They completely fail to recognize others as worthy of God’s love and forgiveness or as people who have their own views of morality and who are acting on those views.

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      trlergrlad infinitum
      8/22/15 12:47pm

      That’s what they think anyway. Notice they don’t think God had anything to do with the wonderful Karma that was brought his way.

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