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    DiosabellaMark Shrayber
    8/20/15 4:38pm

    The greatest crime here is that those assholes are going to make it so I can’t sneak champagne into movie theaters anymore.

    (PS I definitely don’t think that’s the greatest crime here. I’m making a funny. But really, won’t someone think of the purse champagne?)

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      TheRevanchistDiosabella
      8/20/15 4:43pm

      Gonna have to be a hip flask with hard liquor instead.

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      DiosabellaTheRevanchist
      8/20/15 4:43pm

      I’m busty. More like smuggled in my bra for easier access, but yes.

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    andsmokeit is mrs tormund giantsbaneMark Shrayber
    8/20/15 4:33pm

    BUT HOW ELSE CAN I SNEAK IN FOOD AND WATER SO I DONT GO BROKE

    AMC HERE I COME

    WARM UP YOUR COMFY CHAIRS

    eta: from the rest of these comments, all this policy is doing is making people come up with novel ways of hiding contraband on their person

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      GELLA - LLAPandsmokeit is mrs tormund giantsbane
      8/20/15 4:35pm

      its coming to AMC too.

      i went to regal few weeks ago, they checked my purse, guy profusely appologised for that.

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      GELLA - LLAPandsmokeit is mrs tormund giantsbane
      8/20/15 4:36pm

      listen you, bring a vibrator when you are going to see Man from UNCLE

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    Lilly (Hungry hungry hipster!)Mark Shrayber
    8/20/15 4:52pm

    I.. don’t know how to feel about this? If increased security measures make people feel safer, that’s good. But I’m not sure the majority of people working at a movie theater (especially since it’s often like, high school students) know how to properly handle a firearm. Or deal with someone who is equipped with a firearm. Not to mention they shouldn’t have to endure getting yelled at by people who don’t want to be searched (and you know that’s going to happen). I think if Regal hired trained security officers (not crazy ones plz) to do the searching I would be a little more okay with it.
    I am also not sure these security measures actually would make anyone much safer, either way, because the majority of the people I know who conceal carry do it on their person and not in a bag.
    Also does this mean I’m not going to be able to bring in my water anymore? The majority of the time I don’t even bother hiding it because it’s WATER and I can say it’s medically necessary if I need to and I highly doubt anyone is going to push me on it. But sometimes I do hide it in my purse.


    ALSO BECAUSE THIS POST ISN’T LONG ENOUGH ANECDOTE TIME:
    My little sister worked at a movie theater for like three years. She was an usher mostly, so she cleaned up the theaters after people left. One time she found a REAL GUN left behind by some rando. And because she has had absolutely no training in how to properly handle fire arms (and apparently she also seriously lacks common sense), she pointed it at her face and looked down the barrel of it to see if it was loaded.
    She wasn’t hurt, no one was hurt, and the managers called the police. Someone just “dropped” it - it was registered and everything, they weren’t trying to get rid of it. They were apparently just an idiot. But after that her theater started trying to do a “no firearms” policy.

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      LadyologyLilly (Hungry hungry hipster!)
      8/20/15 4:54pm

      WTF, to your sister’s story.

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      Lilly (Hungry hungry hipster!)Ladyology
      8/20/15 4:56pm

      Yeah, it was kind of nuts. She got teased a lot and lectured a lot for pointing it at her face. :\

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    TheyalivedamnitMark Shrayber
    8/20/15 4:32pm

    BUT HOW WILL I SMUGGLE IN MY SODAS

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      Negasonic Adultish WarheadTheyalivedamnit
      8/20/15 4:33pm

      And my Taco Bell!

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      fomo bagginsNegasonic Adultish Warhead
      8/20/15 4:35pm

      I once sat next to a girl at the movies who produced, seemingly out of nowhere, a steaming hot bowl of French onion soup and proceeded to loudly slurp it for the first 15 minutes of the movie. It was the weirdest and most impressive damn thing I’ve ever seen in my life.

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    Octopit didn't choose the burrito life, the burrito life chose octopit.Mark Shrayber
    8/20/15 4:36pm

    Strapping contraband snacks to my body. NACHOS IN MY BRA.

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      agenttrembleOctopit didn't choose the burrito life, the burrito life chose octopit.
      8/20/15 4:48pm

      brb, inventing a bra with false-fronted cups and thermal insulation. one cup for chips, one cup for cheez. #millionaire

      actually, a better idea would be a pregnancy belly for the chips and both bra cups for cheez. #billionaire

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      Octopit didn't choose the burrito life, the burrito life chose octopit.agenttremble
      8/20/15 4:55pm

      OH MY GOD. A fake pregnant belly, emptied out of stuffing and filled back up with snacks! You are sucha genius. A VISIONARY.

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    BrianDMark Shrayber
    8/20/15 4:42pm

    wouldn’t it make more sense to use a metal detector tho?

    like, how does this stop people who carry guns in their holsters or whatever

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      LadyologyBrianD
      8/20/15 4:53pm

      I’m not sure, but clearly there’s a cost element. Also, if you’re checking bags, you can always quell fears by saying it’s about sneaking in food or drink. The sight of a metal detector is not an inviting one.

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      iseedeaddaleksLadyology
      8/20/15 4:57pm

      The sight of a metal detector is not an inviting one.

      But isn’t that the point? Checking bags is just security theater (no pun intended) in line with what the TSA does. If they were serious about stopping guns then they would be checking bags AND doing pat downs. More likely it’s the other way around and Regal realized all this fear about shootings is an excellent way to finally stop people from sneaking in food.

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    agenttrembleMark Shrayber
    8/20/15 4:39pm

    This is so dumb. I routinely carry giant purses chock full of random things to placate my anxiety and never once has any security person doing bag checks actually bothered to rummage through the pile of books, sweaters, scarves, medications, first aid supplies, cosmetic bags and other assorted bric-a-brac to make sure it doesn’t include a weapon. In fact I often carry around a medium-sized camping knife because I forget it’s in there and no one has ever found it.

    Then again I’m white.

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      allaboutthatbaconagenttremble
      8/20/15 4:50pm

      Me too!

      Heck, I got into a court house with a can of pepper spray, and they took my 78 year old neighbor nail clippers. I say its because I had a purse full of crap

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      Ladyologyagenttremble
      8/20/15 4:53pm

      Haven’t all of the theater shooters been white? Maybe they should empty your bag, dude.

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    The Noble RenardMark Shrayber
    8/20/15 4:35pm

    Oh no, where will I keep my extensive collection of dildos that I bring to the movie? Is a good old-fashioned pervert supposed to just stay home and watch Neftlix now? Our society is letting all joy fall to the wayside.

    /got nothing

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      1029393917483The Noble Renard
      8/20/15 4:44pm

      Oh no, where will I keep my extensive collection of dildos that I bring to the movie?

      I mean.

      GIF

      If I have to EXPLAIN it to you I’m not sure that, well.

      Yeah.

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      toscatiosi1029393917483
      8/20/15 5:11pm

      But you only sneak in two - MAYBE three - that way. She wants to bring like a bazillion dildos in. As we all do.

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    LOREM IPSUMMark Shrayber
    8/20/15 4:34pm

    My days of smuggling in jello shots are over. That’s so sad.

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      TheRevanchistLOREM IPSUM
      8/20/15 4:47pm

      You do the jello shots BEFORE you go to the theater. That way, you get drunk while watching previews for another crappy Divergent movie, which makes it seem much more intriguing than it really is.

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      LOREM IPSUMTheRevanchist
      8/20/15 4:53pm

      My theater actually has a little restaurant that serves cocktails and beer that you can bring into the theater, but the beer is shitty stuff like Bud Lite and Corona, and they’re $5 a bottle, and the cocktails are watered down. But I need my jello and pudding shots to snack on in the theater so I don’t eat candy, popcorn and nachos because then I get my liquor and my snacking done at once.

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    HotMessFoMark Shrayber
    8/20/15 4:38pm

    geez the poor teenager that sees a weapon and has to react... my base did an active shooter drill today and the guy came to my building where i sit the front desk. i did all the right things, i didn’t let him in, i called security, etc. and i was STILL freaked out an hour later.

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      darleeeeeene aka deraaiilleeeeeeneHotMessFo
      8/20/15 4:46pm

      That is a serious concern!

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      spotofluffHotMessFo
      8/20/15 5:22pm

      i just got second hand sweaty balms and rising heartbeat just from reading that

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