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    imtiredthatisall IS just like Gywneth PaltrowEllie Shechet
    8/20/15 11:01am

    I feel like there really needs to be more to sex education. I haven’t been in school in a very long time but I feel - the giving and not giving of consent - needs to be hammered into people’s heads. When I was in college a guy I was making out with got physically aggressive and even though I got him to back off and immediately ran away - I really didn’t know what to make of what happened. I know that sounds ridiculous but I had no idea at all.

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      Sqarrimtiredthatisall IS just like Gywneth Paltrow
      8/20/15 11:18am

      It’s not much, but it’s something:

      Why the fuck is consent such an alien concept? Fuck excusing boys’ bad behaviour.

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      imtiredthatisall IS just like Gywneth PaltrowSqarr
      8/20/15 11:25am

      I loved that video. It’s better than what seems to be taught right now.

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    SpringSprungEllie Shechet
    8/20/15 10:45am

    “I didn’t want him to laugh at me. I didn’t want to offend him.”

    Well Jesus Christ. This just broke my heart.

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      Ghiradelli's Dark Chocolate with Roasted Almonds and Sea SaltSpringSprung
      8/20/15 10:47am

      Mine too. I truly wonder if anyone but a woman would understand this feeling.

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      minoukatzeGhiradelli's Dark Chocolate with Roasted Almonds and Sea Salt
      8/20/15 10:55am

      Truth. We’re taught from birth to be polite, no matter what. First thing that sprung to mind:

      GIF
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    JujyMonkey: Clever tagline goes hereEllie Shechet
    8/20/15 10:48am

    “I didn’t want him to laugh at me. I didn’t want to offend him.” (her rapist)

    Wow, ladies...........I.......I got nothin’ Sorry seems absurd here

    I’m trying to raise JujyJunior to be a good guy, I promise.

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      Burner613JujyMonkey: Clever tagline goes here
      8/20/15 10:55am

      My son is 11. We are trying to raise him to be decent, too.

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      violetmoonJujyMonkey: Clever tagline goes here
      8/20/15 11:00am

      The sad reality is, it doesn’t matter what we teach our kids, in the end, they will act out on being the people who they believe they are, and do the things they want to do.

      All we can do is give them good lessons, and hope something stuck that was right and moral.

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    SqarrEllie Shechet
    8/20/15 10:45am

    I hope the prosecution’s prepared her adequately for the heartless flamethrowers she’ll get on cross.

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      deerlady83Sqarr
      8/20/15 10:48am

      I don't know how prepared you can be for that especially since it sounds like she is in already in so much pain. I hope she stays strong.

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      cwpSqarr
      8/20/15 10:53am

      And now I feel for the prosecution team as well having to put a traumatised child through the crap she’ll get from the defence has to be a hell of a job

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    clockworkandcameosEllie Shechet
    8/20/15 10:49am

    I read a yahoo article about this case and decided to read the comments (I know, know!), so many people were commenting things like:

    “This has been going on since my time! These girls are warned that this is what boys want from them and yet they still decided to tease them and go with them. Then they cry rape afterwards! Girls need to listen!”

    If girls have been “warned” for so long and it’s not fucking working, how about warning boys to keep their hands and other appendages to their own fucking bodies.

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      Sipowitzclockworkandcameos
      8/20/15 11:02am

      how about warning boys to keep their hands and other appendages to their own fucking bodies

      What heresy is this?!

      :/

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      lady rainicornclockworkandcameos
      8/20/15 11:06am

      It’s heartbreaking that people make comments like that. I don’t get it. Why are humans like this? :(

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    LisasaurEllie Shechet
    8/20/15 11:18am

    “I tried to be as polite as possible.”

    “I wanted to not cause a conflict”

    “I feel like I had objected as much as I felt I could at the time. And other than that I felt so powerless”

    Anyone who says rape culture does not exist can kindly go die in a fire. Thanks.

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      MisteryCatLisasaur
      8/20/15 12:53pm

      I had an infuriating conversation earlier today with (men, of course) who insisted that Emma Sulkowitz couldn’t have been raped because she was friendly with the guy afterward and texted with him. Like, they can dismiss a victim who doesn’t act the way they think she ought to, and turn RIGHT AROUND and say there’s no such thing as rape culture.

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      SqarrMisteryCat
      8/20/15 1:05pm

      They don’t understand they’re part of it.

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    benjaminalloverEllie Shechet
    8/20/15 10:52am

    WCVB reports that the girl returned to St. Paul’s School in the fall, but left in November.

    I hate how perfectly typical this is. Everyone is so concerned about the possibility of “ruining a young man’s life” when hers being ruined is accepted as a basic cost of coming forward.

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      Sqarrbenjaminallover
      8/20/15 11:19am

      It’s “dress codes” taken to their inevitable conclusion.

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      bad_porkchopSqarr
      8/20/15 12:20pm

      this times one milliooooooooooooonnnnnnnn

      i love you for this.

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    Morifarty's ringtoneEllie Shechet
    8/20/15 11:07am

    “I was telling myself, ‘O.K., that was the right thing to do, you were being respectful.’ ”

    GODDAMMIT I WANT TO BURN DOWN THE ENTIRE PLANET I FUCKING HATE EVERYTHING

    Like we make so many jokes on this website but legitimately, this is what the patriarchy does. This is what happens when you condition women and girls to be more concerned with being polite than being safe like this poor fucking girl I oppose the death penalty but if I saw this kid I would literally strangle him with my own two hands I want to rip his fucking face off

    and obviously that would fix nothing and do nothing and we reap what we sow sort of thing (although he is obviously responsible for his goddamned actions I am not excusing him by saying society made him this way because fuck that noise) but like the amount of rage I feel having read these quotes is palatable.

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      SqarrMorifarty's ringtone
      8/20/15 11:16am

      Exactly.

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      shamalamadingdongMorifarty's ringtone
      8/20/15 11:52am

      I agree wholeheartedly with EVERYTHING you said.

      Except at the end there, I think you meant “palpable.”

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    AlloraEllie Shechet
    8/20/15 1:14pm

    I’m starting to not be able to stay above all of this. I mean, I used to read these things and go, “this is sad, I’m angry,” and maybe pass it around on Facebook or talk to friends, but I could go on with my day. I myself was assaulted as a teenager. I can’t even say the “r” word but there it is. But I’m starting to not be able to just soldier on anymore. I’m just WORN OUT. I’m thinking of having children and terrified of having boys and terrified of having girls. How do you guys keep going, with all the terrible? How do you stay above it all, keep pressing forward? How do you hold out hope for a better future?

    I know we have no choice but to carry on... but, like... how?

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      SqarrAllora
      8/20/15 1:24pm

      I’m having a hard time with the carrying on at the moment, so I’ve got no advice.

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      AlloraSqarr
      8/20/15 1:46pm

      I am not even saying this in a joking way, I put on Salt N Pepa’s greatest hits and I feel a little bit better already. I was going to listen to Hole or Bikini Kill, but I didn’t want to feel angrier... i wanted to feel some A+ womanhood support. Small battles in this fucking war.

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    PrincessMonsterTruckEllie Shechet
    8/20/15 11:00am

    “I tried to be as polite as possible.”

    The way that society teaches women that the worst thing they can do is be impolite absolutely sickens me. The Gift of Fear has several stories in which women (rightly) felt like they were in danger, but they ignored it because they didn’t want to seem impolite.

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      LibrETCPrincessMonsterTruck
      8/20/15 1:23pm

      Starred for PMT :)

      I am so grateful for the lessons my mother taught me. She was a very conservative and religious woman, so my life could have turned out very differently... but she always told me to never be dependent on a man, that boys were disgusting, and to never back down if you felt uncomfortable. It was ok to be rude, and mean even, in order to get yourself out of a bad situation. In the end I think it opened my eyes about my place in life and made me realize I had value beyond the church and as a wife. I think it’s how I ended up being a flaming-liberal-feminist instead of the dutiful southern baptist republican I was raised as.

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