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    Armageddon T. ThunderbirdHudson Hongo
    7/05/15 8:31pm

    Play dumb games, win stupid prizes.

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      NotadmitinganythingArmageddon T. Thunderbird
      7/05/15 8:34pm

      This guy won the prize of never having to pay his taxes again!

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      Armageddon T. ThunderbirdNotadmitinganything
      7/05/15 8:42pm

      Otherwise, he was the posterboy for tax-paying citizens...

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    dothedewHudson Hongo
    7/05/15 8:41pm

    Maybe if the sign wasn’t missing the comma (or is it a semicolon?) he would have gotten the message.

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      lharmdothedew
      7/05/15 8:52pm

      Woodward’s friends: Let’s eat, Woodward.

      Alligators: Let’s eat Woodward.

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      AldoraGreeldothedew
      7/05/15 8:53pm

      Name me a Texan who can recognize an Oxford comma. Just one.

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    the johnHudson Hongo
    7/05/15 8:38pm

    The truly sad part is that this alligator will now be destroyed instead of relocated, which is what would have happened before this meatsicle got involved. Fuck that guy.

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      Samjonesthe john
      7/05/15 8:50pm

      Probably not, I think they’ll give this big guy a pass. As a native Houstonian and part time alligator farmer, they won’t take his life unless he continues to be aggressive or moves into some neighborhood. Definitely fuck that guy for jumping in, but hey, Darwinism at its finest. 11 feet is a pretty large gator, hope he continues living.

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      Marylee111the john
      7/05/15 8:51pm

      Yeah, I was just thinking, whenever some moron gets himself killed by an animal through a fantastically impressive display of idiocy, the animal pays the price.

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    ReallyFatApolloHudson Hongo
    7/05/15 8:44pm

    Every year here in Nova Scotia, tourists get swept out to sea after ignoring probably the most poetic warning signs in the world.

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      IWasCorporateRejectReallyFatApollo
      7/05/15 8:51pm

      Holy shit, that looks like it came straight off the set of Wes Anderson’s Moby Dick.

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      Modern TraditionalistIWasCorporateReject
      7/05/15 8:59pm

      And now I want to watch Wes Anderson’s Moby Dick.

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    OMG!PONIES!Hudson Hongo
    7/05/15 8:58pm

    Fuck that gator?

    Fuck that human!

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      myplane150OMG!PONIES!
      7/05/15 9:11pm

      A racoon that is smarter than a human (he jumped out of the water asap, the racoon.. not the human). Oh, what a world we live in.

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    GregSamsaHudson Hongo
    7/05/15 8:37pm

    ‘Fuck that Gator’ is the new ‘Hold that Tiger.’

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      Ella FynoeGregSamsa
      7/05/15 9:17pm

      “Fuck that Gator” - is the new “Hold my beer and watch this”

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      GregSamsaElla Fynoe
      7/05/15 9:19pm

      Some survive.

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    OT.level7Hudson Hongo
    7/05/15 8:40pm

    So do they hunt down the offending gator? Or just put up a bigger sign that says “ALLIGATORS PRESENT. NO SWIMMING. TOMMIE DID AND NOW HE DEAD”

    Hopefully the latter.

    Also ^^^

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      IWasCorporateRejectOT.level7
      7/05/15 9:00pm

      Well, they’re more likely to destroy the gator than they are to spell-and-syntax check their sign anywhere nearly as well as you did. Try this:

      “FUCKIN’ GATER! NO SWIMMIN’. TOMMIE DID N’ NOW HE FUCKIN’ DEAD!”

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      DontBeSuchaBoobPunchTinaOT.level7
      7/05/15 10:39pm

      The linked story quoted the police captain:

      Authorities are not hunting the alligator, but a private effort may be launched, he said.

      So, if anyone wants to go gator-hunting, they won’t try to stop them, but the local gubmint’s staying out of it. For now, anyway.

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    DianaDoe2.0Hudson Hongo
    7/05/15 8:44pm

    I hope they put those last words on his tombstone. It’s such a rare thing to say before you die.

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      DontBeSuchaBoobPunchTinaDianaDoe2.0
      7/05/15 10:43pm
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      gawkophileDianaDoe2.0
      7/05/15 11:50pm

      That would totally redeem him. If I were he, I’d haunt my family if they didn’t do that.

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    ArkHudson Hongo
    7/05/15 8:46pm

    Thank you, random Texan, for your small contribution to the evolutionary process.

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      Dr. GibletArk
      7/05/15 8:56pm

      He was from St. Louis, not Texas.

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      COMINTArk
      7/05/15 9:15pm

      It only works if he didn’t already procreate. JS

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    OMG!PONIES!Hudson Hongo
    7/05/15 8:55pm

    He died as he lived... Filled with arrogance and disdain.

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      YahmuleOMG!PONIES!
      7/05/15 9:51pm

      And alligator teeth.

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