Discussion
  • Read More
    KinjaMarie Lodi
    7/05/15 4:11pm

    Dear god. My first reaction is to be disgusted with the boyfriend - but depression, suicidal tendencies, and addiction (which I assume is included here given his intoxicated state) are serious issues and I’m not sure that’s the right route. I do hope he gets help, though it’s going to be an extremely hard battle now that this has been added to an already suicidal person’s reasons to be in extreme distress. Maybe this brave woman’s last act will get through to him and he’ll honor her by making sure she succeeded in her mission. She did, after all, give her life so that he could keep his.

    Just awful, though. Really, really awful. She clearly loved him a lot and she was a very courageous person.

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      courtKinja
      7/05/15 4:28pm

      This is a beautiful, compassionate, and empathetic response. I too hope he can honor her heroic memory by getting the help he needs, and then maybe help others. Would be a dignified and worthy tribute to her brave and loving act.

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      jlfforalwaysKinja
      7/05/15 4:47pm

      You are much more compassionate than I. I am cynical today. But then, some butthead on FB just asked me what my “talking points” were. Yes. It’s been that kind of morning.

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    barnaclesMarie Lodi
    7/05/15 4:03pm

    wow. i have no words. what a selfless woman, trying to help her boyfriend like that. she deserved much better.

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      kingwolfbarnacles
      7/05/15 5:11pm

      Maybe he was actually a really great person that just happened to be depressed. It’s not like depression is a type of personality, it’s much more complicated.

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      barnacleskingwolf
      7/05/15 6:04pm

      you don’t need to explain how depression works to me, thanks. i’ve been depressed for 10 years so i think i know a little bit about how it works and what it's like. i wasn’t saying “she deserved better” in that she deserved a better boyfriend. i was saying it in that she deserved a better death than being hit by a fucking car trying to do a good thing for someone she fucking cared about.

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    albatross_YMarie Lodi
    7/05/15 4:29pm

    Look, if people want to clock out early, that’s their choice as a sapient being. But please, please, please, whatever way you do it, make sure you aren’t going to be putting other people’s lives in danger.

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      KaraThrace,LikeEverybody,LovesHypnoToadalbatross_Y
      7/05/15 4:38pm

      as someone who has experienced severe depression and suicidal feelings, i second this sentiment. involving others in your exit or doing it in a violent messy way is selfish.

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      Mandokarlaalbatross_Y
      7/05/15 5:46pm

      Really depends on the individual and what sort of mental state they’re in. Some might have lost all rationality or want to go out in a violent — and effective — manner. The quiet suicides administered by yourself might not feel as guaranteed.

      That was my thinking, but I also spent years planning my own demise as my depression lingered. Despite the irrational belief that my parents, my SO, and my friends would all be better off without me, I retained enough clarity to meticulously plan out how and when so that my mother would NOT be the first one to find me, but that I would be found quickly enough so my dog can be discovered as well and taken care of.

      Etc.

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    nikonpythonMarie Lodi
    7/05/15 4:07pm

    This is so tragic for both parties. If he was suicidal before I can’t imagine how he feels now.

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      QueenGreynikonpython
      7/05/15 4:15pm

      Tragic for all parties. I can’t imagine how the drivers of the cars feel.

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      CurieCatQueenGrey
      7/05/15 4:18pm

      When people commit suicide by train, the conductor gets two weeks paid leave and counseling. I hope these people can also get therapy if they need it- it wasn't their fault, but the survivors guilt doesn't make that easy to accept.

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    VulcansAreHeartbreakersMarie Lodi
    7/05/15 4:22pm

    The road was dark due to the time and there were no street lights in the immediate area to improve the lighting, officials said.

    Right, but those vehicles still had lights on? I can understand if one person hit her, but how does the other one run her over completely? Was this a road people speed on? And where exactly was the boyfriend? I’m confused how she got hit but he didn’t... I’m sure it wasn’t driver fault. It’s just that this story leaves me wondering details.

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      recidiviciousVulcansAreHeartbreakers
      7/05/15 4:43pm

      According to the local sources this was on Almeda Road, which is a major street. The speed limit around there is 45 but it’s Houston so I can guarantee people were probably going about 10 miles over.

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      33anda3rdrecidivicious
      7/05/15 5:07pm

      That stretch of Almeda is like a dragstrip at night. It’s dim, it’s fairly straight, and people book it 20+ mph over the limit regularly when HPD aren’t cruising. Once the drivers would have seen her in their headlights, they wouldn’t have been able to avoid her. Just a really messed up situation all around.


      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    SqarrMarie Lodi
    7/05/15 4:07pm

    Well...

    Shit.

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      GoingBursarSqarr
      7/05/15 4:50pm

      You said it all.

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    SneezingGlitterMarie Lodi
    7/05/15 4:05pm

    Shit. This is only like the saddest thing ever.

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      $kaycogMarie Lodi
      7/05/15 4:27pm

      What a terrible tragedy. Condolences to her family.

      Reply
      <
      • Read More
        Inara SerraMarie Lodi
        7/05/15 6:58pm

        The comments about suicide being selfish are upsetting but not surprising; but I am amazed and comforted by the amount of smacking down they are getting. My mother and an ex boyfriend committed suicide and I’ve never begrudged them that. As someone who has struggled with depression and suicidal ideation almost my whole life (my first attempt was at age 9), I am glad that if they were in that much pain they did what they needed to. I wouldn’t want someone to live with daily pain just because they didn’t want to upset me. Me expecting someone else to live solely to avoid hurting me is what’s selfish. Yes, we grieve. Yes, we miss the person. But suicide survivors heal and move on. Forcing someone to live in pain is a terrible way to show you love them.

        We live in a society of “be thankful” and “it gets better” and “there’s always hope” but you know what? There isn’t always hope. It doesn’t always get better. And just because someone else might be thankful for whatever you are perceived to have doesn’t mean it’s a life that is working for you. There’s so much conversation around choice in the United States, especially in the feminist movement, but the idea that someone might want to choose when and how to die doesn’t appeal to most unless that person has a disease that is readily accepted as terminal. Mental illness, or just a really shitty life that is full of pain, can be terminal, too.

        I agree that if it can be avoided you shouldn’t involve other people directly in your death. But it can be incredibly hard to kill yourself. It’s a morbid thing to say, but it’s true. It’s not like you can readily get help doing it and while I won’t run down the entire list of methods and how they might fail, most aren’t 100% or even easy logistically to attempt. There is an organization in the US that will help you by telling you steps to take for a non-violent ending, but only if you have proof of a terminal illness or 20 years or more records of attempts at treatment for mental illness. Otherwise you’re on your own.

        If there was a more open dialogue about choice and death and if it was easier to get help ending your life when you know it’s the right choice for you (as I do, but finding a way that will work for sure and won’t traumatize others has been an extreme challenge) people wouldn’t jump in front of trains, use guns that make for a terrifying corpse, lay in roads, etc. But there is still such a taboo that sometimes people feel they don’t have any other option but to use a method that involves others.

        Reply
        <
        • Read More
          KaizykatInara Serra
          7/05/15 8:00pm

          It sucks about your mother and your ex, but at least you can understand what they were going through and why they did the things they did.

          I’m fairly similar to you. I can’t remember a time where I didn’t want to kill myself. Slowly, I’m learning how to live for myself and not for other people, but I don’t know if that’s ever going to be enough. I know that — barring an accident or the like — I’m most likely going to die by my own hand. Not now, but sometime in the distant future.

          I think that the reason why people have such a knee-jerk reaction to suicide is that humans are kinda built for survival. In the same regard that people think it’s weird that others want to kill themselves, I find it weird that other people go their entire lives without wanting to die!

          Although, I wonder how the process for what you’re proposing would go. Then again, it’s a pretty simple matter to buy yourself a messy, but effective, end via gun.

          Reply
          <
        • Read More
          Inara SerraKaizykat
          7/05/15 10:38pm

          I’m glad I’m not the only one! I can understand why some people don’t want to die, but I can’t understand why people would expect others to stay alive. I’m kind of the opposite of you, though, in that I think if I had someone live for - a best friend or a partner or someone who seemed to really need me - I would maybe feel differently. Maybe not. I don’t know.

          Everything I’ve read about using a gun has said that it fails as often as it succeeds, which scares me. I don’t want to end up in a mental ward or paralyzed (I’m don’t mean offense to those who are paralyzed, it just something I want). I spoke to someone from the network that helps people do it peacefully and I didn’t meet their criteria as I don’t have 20 years of therapy records, but the woman I spoke to warned me against using a gun because of the failure rate which really freaked me out (I told her that was my plan if they weren’t able to help me).

          In my utopia, there would be a place you could go to that would have doctors who could give you an injection and you’d die peacefully, without any restriction other than being over 18. It will never happen, but, at least for me, it would be an incredible gift.

          Reply
          <
      • Read More
        BeatTheMeatlesMarie Lodi
        7/05/15 5:21pm

        A lot of commenters here have no clue how mental illness works. By definition, someone who’s suicidal isn’t going to be rational. My (now ex) wife once tried to kill herself because a friend of hers was dying of cancer. The thought of this woman dying and leaving her husband to raise their small kids alone upset her so much that she took fistfuls of pills so she’d die first (leaving me to raise our small kids alone). Makes no sense, but there it is.

        I also can’t help but think the comments would be very different if it wasn’t a man who tried to kill himself. The high rate of suicide among trans folks isn’t taken as evidence of how selfish they are, right? When a girl who’s been raped or bullied or even just had nude photos posted online tries to hang herself, is the first reaction to condemn her for being self-centered? But somehow because a young man who we know absolutely nothing about is driven to end his life, he gets all the blame.

        Reply
        <
        • Read More
          albatross_YBeatTheMeatles
          7/05/15 5:51pm

          Well, from the article, it sounds like he was seriously drunk, so rational thought would not been exactly an option. I admit, I’m still kind of mad at him. But I believe I’d be just as mad at any other sort of suicidal person if they had done the same under the same circumstances, and had gotten their partner killed.

          Reply
          <