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    DionneFarrisVEVO ✓officialAnna Merlan
    7/02/15 11:24am

    Don’t laugh at the stock photo of that child. My own daughter was recently diagnosed with shutterstock. She has watermarks all over her face and body, and she refuses to go outdoors.

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      KeevaSDionneFarrisVEVO ✓official
      7/02/15 11:27am

      You win the internet today with that one. Thanks for the great laugh!

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      eats books and leavesDionneFarrisVEVO ✓official
      7/02/15 11:57am

      Does she also laugh at salads?

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    Scott Scanlon Goes CountryAnna Merlan
    7/02/15 11:16am
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      quesoquesoquesoScott Scanlon Goes Country
      7/02/15 11:22am

      Scathing.

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      Daughter of the BurnerScott Scanlon Goes Country
      7/02/15 12:38pm

      I work in Ayurveda (alternative medicine) taught to me by Indian physicians. One day a lady came to me and asked

      Lady, ‘what were your teachers opinions about vaccines?’

      Me, ‘they were all from India where there are diseases, they all felt it completely irresponsible not to vaccinate your children.’

      Lady, ‘that can’t be right, you must misunderstood’

      Me, ‘No, that’s how all 12 of them felt, it was pretty clear’

      Lady, ‘I don’t understand’

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    catfaceAnna Merlan
    7/02/15 11:20am

    I don’t even get what the stock photo is supposed to be about. A crying 5 year old? Kids that age cry, whether or not they’re vaccinated. Is he supposed to look autistic or filled with toxins or something?

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      dalilacatface
      7/02/15 11:24am

      It’s obvious that kid is bursting with toxins, catface. You’re probably a shill for Big Vaccine.

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      WildNightsWildNightscatface
      7/02/15 11:28am

      You see anti-vaccine memes and ads with crying children a lot and I’ve never really understood what the message is supposed to be. Oh, the kids cry when they get shots so I shouldn’t get them their shots? Should I not do anything that makes my kid cry? Okay. Guess I better stop brushing her teeth and rinsing her hair, too. My 10-month old cried when I closed the gate at the top of the stairs this morning. Probably I should have just left it open and let him tumble down, right?

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    PocketfulOfRadiumAnna Merlan
    7/02/15 11:38am

    All of this bullshit comes from our general population’s scientific illiteracy. It’s scary how little students are expected to know about biology and medicine by the time they graduate high school. Most are totally incapable of comprehending how vaccines work. At the end of the year, I devoted two entire lessons to the adaptive immune system and vaccines. I made them KNOW why vaccines work and understand herd immunity. I explained how the vaccine and autism connection was very famously and thoroughly debunked. They wrote essays for me to prove that they understood. NONE of my students will be anti-vaxxers, damnit. I also gave them a little quiz on verifying sources. People are easily duped, and they need to be taught how to determine if a journal or organization is legitimate. Reading a paper published in “The American Journal of Deadly Vaccinations” funded by the recently created organization “Anti-Vaxxers R US” should be a god damn red flag.

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      BerndPocketfulOfRadium
      7/02/15 12:07pm

      People generally lack critical thinking skills and good research methods. Not necessarily surpisingly, because they can be hard, but DAMN. Your ‘internet research’ is bullshit because you lack real evidence. Your grandma’s friend’s blog isn’t a source.

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      sydneybristow47PocketfulOfRadium
      7/02/15 12:41pm

      But...but...THE READING SCORES!

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    adultosaur married anna on the astral planeAnna Merlan
    7/02/15 11:38am

    the comments on this thread are all solid. excellent jokes all around. give yourselves a pat on the back.

    ok typed out this sounds really sarcastic, but it isn’t. THERE ARE GOOD JOKES AND EVERYONE DID A GOOD JOB.

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      It was a Mud Shark, not a Red Snapperadultosaur married anna on the astral plane
      7/02/15 11:49am

      Agreed. Deadspin wishes they could crack wise like this.

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      GELLA - LLAPadultosaur married anna on the astral plane
      7/02/15 12:14pm

      you are mean

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    crazier'n uAnna Merlan
    7/02/15 12:16pm

    Oh for the days (centuries) with no real medical knowledge; People didn't wash enough (even the 'Uppers') and hygiene was key (as the Jewish folk knew — squeaky-clean until Hitler's dirt). Syphyllis was abundant, the plague went on in various places for 300 years. I believe that even Coleridge lost 6 children in the 1800's. People still experience "relic" diseases (of course AIDS was a govenment conspiracy - get ON it Oliver Stone). But, in all seriousness, allowing your kids to experience the 'ole chickenpox and [the other two...] did seem to strengthen our immune systems. The human/wildlife Eco-balance changes constantly. It almost seems like this beautiful Earth wants to kill us. Sad moment: If you care to think of the kids and adults who die daily from whatever cause, for whatever reason, it might take some of the sting out of mortality. No one get's out of here alive. Even with our best cures and precautions, sorrow is our lot here. I'm tired of the debate. Do what YOU want.

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      go-go-chocobocrazier'n u
      7/02/15 1:54pm

      Chicken pox was definitely nbd, at least for me, but I’m not looking forward to the case of shingles I’m almost certain to get later on in life :/

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      FuckYouIWroteItDowncrazier'n u
      7/02/15 2:25pm

      You're right...you ARE crazier than me

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    000Anna Merlan
    7/02/15 11:20am

    ‘ Carrey got his non-facts from a documentary called Trace Amounts, which, as theHollywood Reporter points out, has been aggressively and effectively marketed to celebrities.’

    GIF
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      HerbertHasCandy000
      7/02/15 12:08pm

      ‘ Carrey got his non-facts from a documentary called Trace Amounts, which, as the Hollywood Reporter points out, has been aggressively and effectively marketed to celebrities idiots.’

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      000HerbertHasCandy
      7/02/15 12:27pm
      GIF
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    DaisyLadyAnna Merlan
    7/02/15 12:24pm
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      ShazzyDaisyLady
      7/02/15 3:46pm

      Now I’m wondering if Morticia and Gomez Addams would've been anti-vaxxers.

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      DaisyLadyShazzy
      7/02/15 4:00pm

      Doubtful. They may have been reckless but they weren’t stupid.

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    BlueBellyAnna Merlan
    7/02/15 11:42am

    Can I semi-related rant for a second?

    I work for an art school. Everyone knows no one gives a shit about artists. Everyone thinks they know what art is, that it’s not important, and that no one needs to learn about it. Our kids get very little support. Growing up, I heard a lot of “go into science... go into science...” More and more it seems like no one gives a shit anymore about science either. Everyone thinks they know better than scientists, and it’s worthless to study it.

    If I hear about one more person studying business in school or getting their fucking MBA... business is not an educational path. You don’t go to school to learn about business. Everything you need to know about business can be learned by, um, working in a fucking business. Pretty soon every kid in this country is going to be going to school to learn how to toss fucking money around, and eventually it’s going to be completely fucking pointless because there will be no art to buy, no research to fund, and Americans will be so devoid of empathy and critical thinking that they’ll all just be the deaths of each other.

    I can only hope they get shocked out of their stupidity just in time to give respect to those who devote their lives to studying actual Things and give humans in this world some actual purpose and understanding.

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      DragonsDaughterBlueBelly
      7/02/15 1:48pm

      As someone who gave up their creative passion to for a STEM degree (it was 2008 when I graduated HS and I only had one shot at a life of non-poverty) I can’t give this enough stars. I regret it every day of my life. Even though I am trained in this shit, I still have every bumfuck relative in my life arguing to me that climate change is a political scam, contrails are govt. poison (we live by an airport) and the EPA is the literal devil because jobs or something.

      Most Americans don’t give a fuck about science outside of shoving it down some teenagers throat as a recession employment scare tactic. People are so brainwashed that they have reduced its importance down to nothing more than a means of making money, which is typical of our culture. None of the actual science is respected because it’s been so politicized.

      Tell your students to follow their talents because adults are dumb fucks and should not be trusted.

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      BlueBellyDragonsDaughter
      7/02/15 3:17pm

      Luckily they already seem to know. :) These kids make me feel better about everything in the world. They are so smart, and so brave, and have the biggest hearts. They are interested in so many things. And, I think people who go into the sciences etc. because they care about it and are passionate about it are probably the same way. But... if money is what you care about and are passionate about. If that’s what you choose to follow. That’s what I don’t want... for people to feel that way while abandoning the rest. It feels so empty.

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    BabyJaneAnna Merlan
    7/02/15 11:26am

    That whooshing sound you just heard was Jim Carrey’s career hurtling by you as it plummets towards rock bottom.

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      DeltaEchoBravo Wants to Watch Daredevil NowBabyJane
      7/02/15 11:32am

      I thought it already had.

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      BabyJaneDeltaEchoBravo Wants to Watch Daredevil Now
      7/02/15 11:34am

      That was pre-rock bottom. This is the real deal.

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