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    Cam/ronJay Hathaway
    6/18/15 2:42pm

    Ah yes, Spy’s war against Trump or the “Short-fingered Vulgarian.”

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      Richard PunchCam/ron
      6/18/15 2:49pm

      Wow... I never noticed this before, but Young Trump looks A LOT like Jay Cutler.

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      sourpussCam/ron
      6/18/15 2:52pm

      “Queens born vulgarian" was my favorite

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    ChozoRuinsJay Hathaway
    6/18/15 2:40pm

    Donald Trump’s disembodied head is nightmare fuel.

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      HubcapJennyChozoRuins
      6/18/15 2:48pm

      The little white circles of pale skin around his eyes. He looks like a grumpy orange owl.

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      ChozoRuinsHubcapJenny
      6/18/15 2:50pm

      Yes! This is what was bothering me most. Those little white circles. Tanning booth goggles? Has to be right?

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    Kenhe LoginJay Hathaway
    6/18/15 2:55pm

    He can overcomb this!

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      KaidogKenhe Login
      6/18/15 4:36pm

      That was great punning for a Thursday.

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    HarvestMoonJay Hathaway
    6/18/15 2:39pm

    Trump’s stock portfolio was worth less than half as much before that Kenyan got in office and oversaw dramatic increases in the S&P. I believe a big “Thank you Mr. President” is in order here...

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      Now-whatHarvestMoon
      6/18/15 2:44pm

      So the people that had money, now have more? Is that your point?

      Because the 100MM people out of work is mine.

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      HubcapJennyHarvestMoon
      6/18/15 2:48pm

      That graphic’s brilliant. Reading comprehension, yall.

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    dothedewJay Hathaway
    6/18/15 2:53pm
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      Jujymonkey3dothedew
      6/18/15 3:28pm

      Three combover club in Trump’s case.

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      Fred Smithdothedew
      6/18/15 4:30pm

      I can’t keep track of how many times Trump debillionized and then rebillionized.

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    lobstrJay Hathaway
    6/19/15 8:59am

    Gather ‘round, children, and behold my personal brush with the Trump!*

    About 10 years ago, I was on a return flight home from LAX to DFW and seated next to me was this very nice lady in her late 60s, who struck up a conversation with me, and we ended up chatting the entire 3 hour flight. She was Mormon and she told me I could ask her anything about that, so I let loose all my questions and she was very cool about answering it all. Well, anyway, the reason she was coming to DFW was because she was going to attend some convention in downtown Fort Worth that had overtones of Amway but somehow had to do with the telecom industry, and apparently was way popular with Mormons for some reason. The convention was held about three blocks from where I lived, and she invited me to come check it out — though, it all sounded pretty mundane until she told me that Donald Trump was speaking at this thing. Wha?? Really? Why?? I’ve never heard of this organization (can’t remember the name now) but it was a Salt Lake City-based thing and it all had to do with multi-level marketing of ... I want to say “cellular plans” or some shit. Still wasn’t 100% clear what it was, but fuck all that, how could I resist seeing Donald Fucking Trump running his mouth to a crowd mere blocks from me?

    Ok, so I slip into this thing. The convention hall arena was packed .. it seats like 8000 people. (In Donald language, it’s ‘uuuuuuge!’ for what it was) .. Anyway, Donald steps up and starts mouthing off about how he’s here because the two SLC dudes that run this scam or whatever “golf at my courses, so it’s the least I could do, right? I love these guys. And they’re not bad golfers!” emitting delightful laughter from the crowd of stupids.

    Nothing he said during his entire 30 minutes on stage had shit to do with this bullshit show he was at, it was all about him and his greatness, but the following story he told has singed a memory in my mind that cannot, lo, should not ever be erased, for it was quintessential prick Donald. This is paraphrased, and I guarantee you he tells this story everywhere he goes (surprised not to hear it during the campaign announcement) — here we go:

    “You know, it wasn’t that long ago that I was in debt for about a billion dollars — and this one day me n’ Marla [Maples] were walking down 5th Avenue (of course), and we passed a “bum” (he actually did use that word), and I remember saying to Marla “Hey, you know, that guy doesn’t realize that he should look at the bright side, he’s a billion dollars richer than I am!”

    Ho, ho, ho, get it? Because he has $0 and $0 is $1,000,000,000 more than
    -$1,000,000,000! But yet he will still be sleeping on a cardboard mat while I nestle my fuckface into a gold-bedecked silk-adorned waterbed with trumpeting angels carved into the headboard. I didn’t understand the point of that story, except that it served as a setup for him to segue into how he’s now (at that time) $3 billion in the positive thanks to perseverance and good deal-making. Everyone cheers. Donald winks, points at someone with that gun-point wave people like him do, walks off stage.

    They flew him out to DFW from wherever-the-fuck for a half hour of brag completely irrelevant to the convention. That, my friends, (plus all the money NBC has thrown him for his stupid-ass shows) is likely how he got all his recent money — not real estate and casino dealmaking, but making stupid speeches like this and incessant Media-whoring.

    (*at a distance of sixty feet, ok?)

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      JohninLAJay Hathaway
      6/18/15 2:59pm

      Most of Trump’s remaining assets were in stock, but the accountants also didn’t point out that those shares were bought with borrowed money—he still owed $69 million.

      I’m having trouble understanding how an “audit” could have this occur, Arthur Andersen later being disgraced or not. I’m guessing maybe Trump spun things publicly whereas the audit itself (or at least the Notes) fully accounted things properly.

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        BeastMoeJohninLA
        6/18/15 4:09pm

        From the original article, Arthur Anderson said it was a financial review, not an audit. Apparently the letter indicated that part of the $700M in assets may have been earmarked for other projects.

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      anniegawker2-electricboogalooJay Hathaway
      6/18/15 2:52pm

      The other night someone here claimed that Trump “released his financials” but refused to link to any proof of that.

      http://gawker.com/he-released-au…

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        DashleyinCalianniegawker2-electricboogaloo
        6/18/15 3:04pm

        He released a word processor-generated document listing what he wants people to think his net worth is. It’s like if you said you were going to give your college transcripts to a potential employer and instead you wrote up your own list of good grades you got.

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        anniegawker2-electricboogalooDashleyinCali
        6/18/15 3:13pm

        No wonder it didn’t make AP, or any other reputable news source.

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      Sir VivorJay Hathaway
      6/18/15 3:46pm

      Please give guy a break - he suffers from egoism, illusions of grandeur, Munchausen and infinitesimal dick. Would probably drive around in Humwee if they costed more.

      From where I’m from, we calculate one’s net worth like this: Check public tax records, check shares and stocks and such, and then check what the companies/properties/whatever are valued at. Easy peasy.

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        curiousJay Hathaway
        6/18/15 2:58pm

        This douche has one talent. He knows how to work the system. I give him props for being the quintessential hustler. As a human being....ugh.

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