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    rudi_freudeBrendan O'Connor
    6/14/15 3:47pm

    “When Communists came to us in this country, they ordered that all crosses and bells of the churches be melted down and the money used to build the zoo,” head of the Georgian Orthodox Church, Patriarch Ilia II, reportedly told a Sunday Mass.

    “The sin will not go without punishment. I am very sorry that Georgians fell so that a zoo was built at the expense of destroyed churches.”

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    Why didn’t he just go full-hog and say God sent the flood then sent the animals, sans ark?

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      DingoDongorudi_freude
      6/14/15 3:57pm

      Glad to know the Georgian Orthodox Church is just as fucked-up and stupid as the Russian Orthodox Church.

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      Alexander_Crouton-Skitchrudi_freude
      6/14/15 4:00pm

      I was waiting for him to blame it on the gays, a là Pat Robertson, but this time the Communists took the rap!

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    McCoy's MistressBrendan O'Connor
    6/14/15 4:36pm

    The local news app did a bad job categorizing this. This Atlantan was scared shitless for a minute (I live pretty close to the zoo).

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      VwolfMcCoy's Mistress
      6/14/15 4:55pm

      When I first read the headline somewhere else, I also thought it was Georgia, USA.

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      McCoy's MistressVwolf
      6/14/15 5:13pm

      It was an uneasy few seconds before I clicked on the story, believe me.

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    AltF4Brendan O'Connor
    6/14/15 3:38pm

    It seems Georgia has no tranquillizer dart technology of their own, perhaps NATO should hook them up like they did when they gave them arms and told them to attack S.Ossetia.

    Dont kill your escaped animal slaves you savages, just tranq them and put them somewhere secure.

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      ChipCAltF4
      6/14/15 4:23pm

      According to every US cop ever, animals are apparently immune to animal tranquilizers and you’re better off shooting every escaped animal dead. Otherwise there is a risk to the police officers, the animals seem to always lash out when they approach screaming trying to forcibly subdue the animal.

      Just two weeks ago a herd of Buffalo escaped and were slaughtered because police are too lazy to actually be bothered to do some actual work and catch the animals.

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      VwolfAltF4
      6/14/15 4:58pm

      Some people are too inept to do anything of the sort. It’s in situations like these when you realize how unprepared and incompetent police forces are. And the government in general. People use no logical thinking of their own and they have no problem solving skills. If it’s not in a handbook, they don’t know what to do.

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    FooksieBrendan O'Connor
    6/14/15 3:39pm

    I identify as a gazelle. Haters gonna hate.

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      ChipCFooksie
      6/14/15 4:21pm

      The question that will be facing our generation for the next ten years is this; does this hippo have the right to think of him/herself as a gazelle?

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      SuperWittySmittyChipC
      6/14/15 5:19pm

      Do you think African Americans are an entirely different species from “white” people?

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    NewYorkCynicBrendan O'Connor
    6/14/15 3:44pm

    I’m gonna need an over-the-top Rachel Dolezal story after reading this article.

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      sui_generisNewYorkCynic
      6/14/15 8:43pm

      Oh god, please don’t encourage them. They’ve already posted, what, nearly 20 of them across both sites?

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      Bullnecksui_generis
      6/14/15 9:19pm

      So it’s not just me then. Damn I’m tired of that story. And in two years no one will remember it.

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    whatseriouslywhatBrendan O'Connor
    6/14/15 4:25pm

    That drowned, mud covered lion :(

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      DontBeSuchaBoobPunchTinawhatseriouslywhat
      6/14/15 4:51pm

      And the bear. So terribly sad.

      If we could just LEAVE THEM THE FUCK ALONE...

      Why can’t we just leave them the fuck alone? What is wrong with people? I will never understand this.

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      freetibetwithapurchaseofanentreeDontBeSuchaBoobPunchTina
      6/14/15 6:15pm

      You're so right, that bear. Ugh. Poor thing. I hoped it was still alive, just holding and floating, then realized they will just shoot it anyway.

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    Icecold DavisBrendan O'Connor
    6/14/15 3:42pm

    Sure, the wolves just happened to find the nearest children’s hospital.

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      DontBeSuchaBoobPunchTinaIcecold Davis
      6/14/15 4:50pm

      “Oh! But, Grandmother, what a terrible big mouth you have!”

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    Jerry-NetherlandBrendan O'Connor
    6/14/15 3:46pm

    This would be an ideal time for the wealthy conservatives of Rancho Santa Fe, California to consider the lawn possibilities of Tbilisi - and move there!

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      jeffvanhungryBrendan O'Connor
      6/14/15 3:41pm

      An unknown number of animals—including lions, tigers, bears, and at least one hippo—have escaped from a zoo and are roaming the city’s ruined streets.

      This is my nightmare.

      (Also this is tragic.)

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        NewYorkCynicjeffvanhungry
        6/14/15 3:48pm

        Little known fact: in the Wizard of Oz Dorothy and the others were originally scripted to chant, “Lions and tigers and bears and at least one hippo, oh my,” but the director ended up shortening the line because it just didn’t flow right.

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      kathotdogBrendan O'Connor
      6/14/15 3:54pm

      This marketing campaign for James Patterson’s be tv show The Zoo has gone too far.

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        kathotdogkathotdog
        6/14/15 3:55pm

        be? I hate my phone and my fat fingers.

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        Blood Cubic Zirconiakathotdog
        6/14/15 4:00pm

        You should still have 10 minutes left to edit it ;)

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