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    MattHamilton Nolan
    6/03/15 1:30pm

    If you're so brain dead that you have to have a water bottle that goes full Vegas strip on you when you need to drink, wouldn't it just make more sense to carry around an IV pole with a bag of saline solution hooked up with you?

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      Erik LonnrotMatt
      6/03/15 1:34pm

      Or just die of dehydration and do the gene pool a favour.

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      MattErik Lonnrot
      6/03/15 1:37pm

      So, kind of unrelated but I used to keep these things called fire-belly newts, they were little newts that were black with bright red markings under their bellies (duh). Anyway, the pet shop people sold them to me and sold me food for them, these little pellets and told me that in order to feed them, I had to place a pellet on top of their heads. Otherwise, these things were apparently too dumb to crawl across the tank to a food dish and eat. Needless to say, even following the pet shops advice to the letter, they didn't last long and I instituted a new rule for pets: must be smart enough to eat when provided with food and water.

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    crayoneaterHamilton Nolan
    6/03/15 1:27pm

    Imagine what we’d accomplish if these people worked on real problems.

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      stacyinbeancrayoneater
      6/03/15 1:32pm

      This is perfectly placed under the comment about how way too many people have no access to clean water and sanitation. I wish I could join these comments together in holy matrimony.

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      Tidal Towncrayoneater
      6/03/15 1:34pm

      Who’s paying them to work on the real problems?

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    benjaminalloverHamilton Nolan
    6/03/15 1:35pm

    I don’t know what makes me hate them more; the 100% unnecessary product, the $80,000 raised on Kickstarter, or the 3 minute fucking commercial they spent it on.

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      Tidal Townbenjaminallover
      6/03/15 1:38pm

      Why do you hate them for raising $80,000? They didn’t steal it or anything; they made a (totally unnecessary) product and people chose to back/buy it. Apparently some people think it’s a good idea, for whatever reason, and decided to spend money on it. That’s their prerogative.

      ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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      benjaminalloverTidal Town
      6/03/15 1:54pm

      Yes I realize that. I always get frustrated and bitter when I hear about stupid products that get funding, having struggled to fund my own business in the past. We spent years hustling to get into the same room as the money, so it always sticks in my craw how easily idiots can fundraise their idiot products from other idiots.

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    Jerry-NetherlandHamilton Nolan
    6/03/15 1:33pm

    I assumed this was going to be about the idiotic Vessyl (the electronic cup that tells you what you’ve just poured into it, like, say, “water” or “Pepsi”), which came out to much publicity one year ago and hasn’t been heard from since.

    But this takes the prize for the needless product. One thing your body does quite efficiently - without the help of any microchip - is tell you when you’re thirsty.

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      quantum_cronutJerry-Netherland
      6/03/15 1:38pm

      Oh gosh I had completely forgotten about that thing. I feel like the only good use of that technology would be for a college girl at a party - like if they made a cup that lights up like a christmas tree and shouts expletives if a roofie is detected.

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      benjaminalloverJerry-Netherland
      6/03/15 1:45pm

      These are adults, who went to school, had jobs to quit, and are unaware of the facts that animals evolved this swell fluid regulating mechanism called “thirst”, and that any animals who failed to drink when they were thirsty were culled from the gene pool long before our species evolved. If you need this bottle, you should not exist. These guys are attempting to develop a solution for a problem that has been solved for at least a million years.

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    LouisLippsHamilton Nolan
    6/03/15 1:43pm

    “And the battery lasts for a year, so you’ll never have to charge it.”

    Except for, ya know, a year from now.

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      Amy L. KeyishianLouisLipps
      6/03/15 2:16pm

      A year from now? THAT MAY AS WELL BE NEVER #yolo

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      theYoungOctogenarianLouisLipps
      6/03/15 2:25pm

      Nothing like taking something that costs nearly nothing ($) and nothing (attention) per year to maintain (your hydration) and convincing $80,000 worth of morons to pay you to make it worth paying $45 initially plus a yearly investment of probably around $10-$20 more dollars for maintenance (battery) PLUS the reliance on an app on your phone to remind you to do something your body already naturally does. Are people currently dying because they FORGET to drink water? Or is it more of an issue of lack of access....? Jesus.

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    stacyinbeanHamilton Nolan
    6/03/15 1:32pm

    God forbid they spell hydrate correctly.

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      Gary-Xstacyinbean
      6/03/15 1:50pm

      Yes, yes, but you see, this is different. What we have here is the combination of the two polar ends of our humanity: the natural and the technological. This product exists at that nexus, creating a new kind of experience that points towards our future, towards the synthesis of this great dialectic. It’s not just hydration—that natural and base activity. It’s the future of humanity.

      This is hi-tech hydration.
      This is Hidration.
      This is HidrateMe.

      [phone beeps; remembers to piss.]

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      LokezombieGary-X
      6/03/15 2:41pm

      I’m a really big softie so I feel kind of bad about how everyone is just shitting all over these people and stuff but I just have to star this comment because it was perfect.

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    Leah FinneganHamilton Nolan
    6/03/15 1:46pm

    this is some dumbass shit

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      hilikusopusLeah Finnegan
      6/03/15 2:00pm

      *Alert: your Hidrate™ smart bottle is 50% empty.*

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      mtdriftLeah Finnegan
      6/03/15 3:27pm

      You don’t say?

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    The Noble RenardHamilton Nolan
    6/03/15 1:29pm

    Wait, TechCrunch actually said that it “might seem wrong” to encourage people to drink water because there’s a drought in California?

    Like, WHAT? To who? Morons?

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      DolemiteThe Noble Renard
      6/03/15 1:36pm

      Hell, I’m going to chug 250 ml right now out of my giant water bottle just as a rebuke. It’s at 750 ml. right now....and done.

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      The Noble RenardDolemite
      6/03/15 1:38pm

      YOU MONSTER. WHY DIDN’T YOU SHIP THAT WATER TO CALIFORNIA?

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    BrianGriffinHamilton Nolan
    6/03/15 1:32pm

    I drink water at my desk out of a red solo cup. Why? Because the red catches my eye and reminds me to drink from it. A normal glass / water bottle is too easy to ignore and it’s easy for me to not realize I’m thirsty.

    I wouldn’t be opposed to a glowing water bottle that calculates my water intake, actually.

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      PuntabulousBrianGriffin
      6/03/15 1:44pm

      Everyone at work makes fun of my red solo cups! I just prefer to think I’m at a backyard BBQ than at work.

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      Vitamin VBrianGriffin
      6/03/15 1:46pm

      Yup. Not sure why this particular product is featured as the worst. Seems pretty smart that it adjusts when you exercise or are in the mountains. You’d be surprised how many idiots run marathons and don’t stop for water. They end up in the medical tent with their muscles completely seized up. They could use a glowing orb to tell them to drink. Maybe HN dated someone who works for that startup and is just angry.

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    WammerHamilton Nolan
    6/03/15 2:05pm

    This falls squarely into the subject of Evgeny Morozov’s book “To Save Everything Click Here”. Dumb inventions made for non-existent problems that will end up causing unforseen consequences.

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      MrPendentWammer
      6/03/15 3:11pm

      Is that you, Evgeny? ;)

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      WammerMrPendent
      6/03/15 3:32pm

      Nope. He wrote a good book though. While I don’t agree with everything he said, he does a very good job of pointing out stupid bullshit that VC and Kickstarter people tend to put out.

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