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    TremulousCadenceSlowMark Shrayber
    4/22/15 10:47pm

    When I went to Thailand, I met a new friend, the bum gun. No need for wet wipes, and your butt’s never been cleaner.

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      donottouchwillieTremulousCadenceSlow
      4/22/15 11:27pm

      One thousand times yes to this. I have a number of sweet, dear friends in Thailand, but if we’re being honest I miss the bum guns more than all of them.

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      Andrew DaisukeTremulousCadenceSlow
      4/22/15 11:40pm

      I met a guy once who’s nickname was bum gun.

      Actually, that was in Thailand too come to think of it.

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    CheezWizardMark Shrayber
    4/22/15 10:06pm

    The only thing that should go down the toilet is #1 #2 and tp. If your butt is that messy take a shower or use the garden hose. Wet wipes are just another unnecessary consumer item that eventually end up in landfills...or as fatbergs. Happy Earth Day.

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      agenttrembleCheezWizard
      4/22/15 10:15pm

      It’s not always about mess. Sometimes TP is just too harsh on a delicate butt. That said, covered trashcans are not expensive.

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      JeremyCheezWizard
      4/22/15 10:25pm

      Bidets for everyone! The French have the right idea.

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    BonMorteMark Shrayber
    4/22/15 10:10pm

    You adipose stories like this more often.

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      JeremyBonMorte
      4/22/15 10:25pm

      This had me cringing in delight so hard my face hurts.

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      KorraBonMorte
      4/22/15 11:21pm

      Lard Almighty! That was funny.

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    Lilly (Hungry hungry hipster!)Mark Shrayber
    4/22/15 10:06pm

    I love you and your gross stories Mark. Never change.

    Also, can someone explain to me where the fat globules are coming from? I understand the wet wipes and it makes sense to me that things would get stuck on the wet wipes and create these things, but I don’t understand where the fat is coming from in the first place.

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      AintGotTimeForThatLilly (Hungry hungry hipster!)
      4/22/15 10:24pm

      You know how they say that you shouldn’t pour bacon grease down the drain? Even if you run hot water? This is why.

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      wishforagiraffeLilly (Hungry hungry hipster!)
      4/22/15 10:25pm

      restaurants, and also idiot citizens who dump oil/grease down the drain at their homes

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    Curious SquidMark Shrayber
    4/22/15 10:16pm

    I once ran up to a housemate and yanked the pan out of their hands when I caught them pouring grease down the kitchen sink. The next sharehouse meeting, "respectful behavior" was an item on the agenda.

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      Sherwood2Curious Squid
      4/22/15 10:24pm

      I only learned a few years ago that you’re not supposed to pour oil/grease down the drain. They really need to get the word out on that.

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      oldscrumbySherwood2
      4/22/15 10:42pm

      Just to be thorough, tampons, maxi pads, and condoms shouldn’t get flushed either.

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    hellotamponMark Shrayber
    4/22/15 10:13pm

    I had to clean up after an exploded colostomy bag today.

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      goddessoftransitoryhellotampon
      4/23/15 2:20pm
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      The Vaccinator, RNhellotampon
      4/24/15 12:23am
      You and I are living the life. I had a patient whose dog used to follow her around the house waiting for extra yummy bag explosions. The patient was not good at self-management.
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    32_FootstepsMark Shrayber
    4/22/15 10:13pm

    So that’s why Elvis Costello doesn’t want to go to Chelsea.

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      32_Footsteps32_Footsteps
      4/22/15 10:43pm

      For those who aren’t old fogies and thus lack context:

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      aranxa132_Footsteps
      4/22/15 11:17pm

      I think you just called me an old fogey. Well honey, I am not last year’s model.

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    JennaWMark Shrayber
    4/22/15 10:40pm

    Well, I think we all know who the culprit is here...

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      adultosaur married anna on the astral planeJennaW
      4/23/15 9:44am

      so cuteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

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    $kaycogMark Shrayber
    4/22/15 10:12pm

    Shucks.

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      jpomonkeyMark Shrayber
      4/23/15 12:56am

      I was in Mexico in the Yucatan peninsula recently, and in every bathroom you couldn’t even throw TP in the toilet. You threw it in the garbage can next to the toilet. It took a minute to get used to, but this is a much better way. I know this story isn’t about the US, but it’s happening here, too, where we are so accustomed to well-working sewer systems that we think we can just throw anything in.

      I grew up with a septic tank, though, and was taught from an early age that if I threw random shit in the toilet then I would pay for it later by having to help my dad snake the sewer. And it was the worst.

      I had roommates who insisted on using those wipes in our rental house, even though I told them not to, and that it would only end badly. They didn’t listen. And what happened? I had to personally stick my hand in my roommate’s diarrhea-filled toilet to unclog that bitch so we didn’t have to call the landlord to deal with it. (I wore gloves, obviously, but taunted them all with my “shit hand” for days because they deserved it.)

      My point is, if you insist on using wipes (and tampons, etc.) then please, please, please don’t just flush it. Because once you flush it, it has to go somewhere, and someone’s gotta clean that shit up (literally). Throw it in the trash, or don’t use it at all.

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