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    fighting polish is David Schwimmer as Rob Kardashian SrJia Tolentino
    4/03/15 11:46am
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      Andrew Daisukefighting polish is David Schwimmer as Rob Kardashian Sr
      4/03/15 11:50am
      GIF
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      fighting polish is David Schwimmer as Rob Kardashian Srfighting polish is David Schwimmer as Rob Kardashian Sr
      4/03/15 12:03pm

      side note: this is the only good meme

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    LeelahJamesJia Tolentino
    4/03/15 12:04pm

    IF YOU CANNOT WRITE SATIRE, DO NOT WRITE SATIRE! STAY IN YOUR LANE!

    GIF
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      Ken Griffey's Swollen JawLeelahJames
      4/03/15 1:09pm

      100% this.

      Now if you will excuse me, I will go read the story on the remarkable life of Baseball player Sidd Finch

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      LovesMyLucyDLeelahJames
      4/03/15 2:59pm

      I really, really hope, its just that these kids just don't get it. I want to believe they weren't trying to be racist, only that they don't understand satire, and really, really misused it. I want to believe it...

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    DaisyLadyJia Tolentino
    4/03/15 12:05pm

    Dammit, UVA. I loved you so much. I was the first black person in my graduate program which was both exciting and shocking since it was the early aughts but you were so good to me. So good I even got a V-Sabers tattoo. That’s how awesome the experience was. Sure, you seemed to have a somewhat overabundance of frat bro’s who wore bow-ties to football games but you also had potential. You were supposed to get better, not worse. Stop being in the news. Stop talking. Stop fucking up. I mean it.

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      HaHaYouFoolJia Tolentino
      4/03/15 11:46am

      Hot damn, Declaration. Nice work.

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        shenanigansJia Tolentino
        4/03/15 11:45am

        You’d think the first — and easiest — idea would be to do a whole issue pretending the casual racism (and not so casual racism) happens to white people. Like an article about a Vinyard Vines wearing white guy followed around Ragged Mountain Running (“He didn’t look like he ran anything other than his Yukon’s engine’ the store said as an excuse”). etc.

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          Qellaqanshenanigans
          4/03/15 1:01pm

          Fratty-looking guy pestered in the computer section of the bookstore because he looked like he would spill a solo cup on stuff, despite the absence of a solo cup. This could be a theme.

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          accesskathrynshenanigans
          4/03/15 2:49pm

          Sorority-looking white girl closely followed in a souvenir shop because the store employees are told that “girls in sorority clothes might get makeup on the T-shirts.” ...or spill Diet Coke on them, despite the absence of a Diet Coke can.

          Store employees are told to be pre-emptively rude to fortyish and fiftyish men in dark suits and power ties because that demo is likely to be demanding and inconsiderate.

          “But she was carry a Pottery Barn bag! Those are the people most likely to shoplift kale chips!”

          This is too easy.

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        oliveyouJia Tolentino
        4/03/15 12:01pm

        And now this... *sigh*

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          April Ludgate-Karate-Dwyeroliveyou
          4/06/15 1:59pm
          GIF

          Hey Cav Daily, have you considered pulling your first foot out of your mouth before you put the second one in?

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        April Ludgate-Karate-DwyerJia Tolentino
        4/06/15 1:55pm

        Since I arrived at UVA, we’ve had the murder of Hannah Graham, the Rolling Stone debacle, the assault on Martese Johnson, the Bombs Over Baghdad party, student suicides, and now this.

        I don’t know what about my presence is causing this, but I’m sorry.

        In all seriousness, that response by The Declaration was perfect and why have I not heard of them before (probably because college has turned reading from “funtime activity” to “cause of everpresent dread”). So much of the Native American one I think could best be described as “joke adjacent.” Like, they were trying to say A Thing, but words are hard, you know? (Psst, English department? Now’s the time to bring back your ‘Satire’ and/or ‘Art and Theory of Comedy’ classes. Preferably before I graduate.)

        GIF

        (I think this is my new catch-all UVA gif.)

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          tigolbittiessJia Tolentino
          4/03/15 12:02pm

          this was how they titled the native american story online: http://www.cavalierdaily.com/article/2015/0...

          cherokidding...

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            thatsslightlyraventigolbittiess
            4/03/15 12:43pm
            GIF

            These people are almost to dumb to insult. Almost.

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          ThisismyBurnerJia Tolentino
          4/03/15 1:15pm

          I know its horrible of me but I laughed at the Sitting Bull-shit line.

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            Brigitte Bardot's black wigThisismyBurner
            4/03/15 1:51pm

            I laughed at this:

            “The pledges have been making this big-ass bus out of cardboard in our house. We’re going to drink in it.”

            Just, “We’re going to drink in it.”

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          kcnewhavenJia Tolentino
          4/03/15 12:22pm

          The good new is the student writer & editor have been offered jobs at the Boston Herald

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