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    not-bad-for-a-quadrapedHamilton Nolan
    3/31/15 12:12pm

    The best we can hope for is to be pleasantly demented and unaware of the suckiness of being old in America.

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      Stenchofaburnernot-bad-for-a-quadraped
      3/31/15 12:18pm

      "Comfortably numb" was the anthem of a generation back in the 80s. In a unique pop culture twist, it'll be the anthem of the same generation in their elderly days.

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      JonezBeechynot-bad-for-a-quadraped
      3/31/15 12:22pm

      Is there any place in the world where the old are all living super awesome lives?

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    toothpetardHamilton Nolan
    3/31/15 12:12pm

    5)

    Get nice pool float rafty thing and go float around the yacht basin at night with a cordless drill, creating jobs.

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      Medieval Knieveltoothpetard
      3/31/15 12:15pm

      Or get a nice pool float rafty thing and float out to sea for the good of the community, like an aging polar bear. Social Security: solvent!

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      gimmesummertoothpetard
      3/31/15 12:17pm

      Cmon man....its 2015. Invent a drone that does that, sell it to unemployed angry old people....then retire rich.

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    Max CherryHamilton Nolan
    3/31/15 12:13pm

    Tell me again how Americans are better off without unions...

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      SQLGuruMax Cherry
      3/31/15 1:06pm

      Unions protect slackers at the expense of hard-workers because pay is leveled by tenure more than performance. Unions make it harder to fire less productive workers. Unions (by way of improved pay for members) raise the cost of the goods and services they produce because the increased cost is never felt by the company because they pass the cost on.

      Unions —- great for the slacker members, terrible for everyone else.

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    Herb & SpiceHamilton Nolan
    3/31/15 12:15pm

    Another strategy, have ten kids and hope that at least one isn't a complete and utter failure.

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      J0H4WKHerb & Spice
      3/31/15 12:24pm

      Or stop having too many fucking children.

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      Herb & SpiceJ0H4WK
      3/31/15 12:28pm

      That would be way too logical.

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    SprocheteHamilton Nolan
    3/31/15 12:19pm

    My husband would love to change jobs (his workplace is insane) but at 50, he's worried he won't find another or will have to start at entry-level. I'm going to be on the market in the next year and though I hope my skills are adaptable, there's no guarantee. I'm going to start a part time job in the mean time, so I can hope to transition to full time when this job ends and at least have part-time income if full-time doesn't pan out.

    Neither of us think of ourselves as old at 50 and we plan to work as long as we're able. But we are very aware that employers would much prefer to hire eager young things at a lower rate than invest in our experience.

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      RealSmokeyJoeSprochete
      3/31/15 2:31pm

      The chances of finding an entry-level position at 50+ are virtually nonexistent.

      At 53, I've discovered that discrimination against the >50 crowd is a thing.

      But vengeance shall be ours. Everyone is worried about the robots becoming sentient or the zombie-pocalypse. Y'all should really be fearing the Rise of the (arth)'Ritic.

      We've been planning it for years at our AARP meetings. Got sub-committees and working groups and everything. We've even got a Kickstarter project to raise money for a white board. When that happens, F*CK THE YOUNGS!!!

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      CeeJayRealSmokeyJoe
      4/09/15 6:35pm

      I'm 59, have inherent lumbar stenosis, scoliosis and osteoarthritis. How do I survive. I HAVE to get up and go to work every day, even under the influence of Dilaudid and Morphine. I work for a major corporation, have been shocked for months that they allow me on their property and frankly am so sick of the health issues, watching everything I do super carefully due to the drugs and CANNOT wait to call it a day! I worked full-time and for 14 years until last year had a somewhat lucrative photography business. Well no more shooting weddings, but portraits and boudoir photography are better suited now anyway. Bottom line? I only wish I could find the right doctor to get me the h*ll out of that rat race so I can 1) experience less pain due to the unending stress 2) have time to ENJOY life instead of just exist 3) fill my calendar with photo shoots so I can afford to buy the meds I need to function and finally 4) run into one young smart-mouth that thinks "they" know it all. Baby, you know nothing, yet. After work on a Friday night now is a must...in 20 years you'll want to put your feet up and sip on something, I guarantee it. So respect your elders, watch us, we're your models because by the time you're our age you'll be dammm lucky IF there is Social Security. Old huh? Who's the dummy now?

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    under_electricliteHamilton Nolan
    3/31/15 12:18pm

    This shit makes me worry because my mother wants to retire this year from her job. I keep telling her she needs to transition to a less stressful department at her current employer, but not retire, because of this shit.

    She fantasizes about working in a non-management position at a grocery store, and I look at her like she's an alien lifeform.

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      FridayFridayunder_electriclite
      3/31/15 1:02pm

      If she has a paid off house and car, and just wants a retail job for spending money, that's actually not a bad gig. Being a cashier was one of the most relaxing and fun jobs I've had. If I didn't need more money, I'd have kept doing it. People will treat you like shit occasionally but I get that sometimes even at my "real" job.

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      flamingolingounder_electriclite
      3/31/15 1:31pm

      Don't listen to FridayFriday. Having a paid off house is fine, but if you can't afford to pay the taxes and other costs on it for the rest of your life, you could still lose it. I know plenty of retirees who are funneling almost their entire SSI check towards payment plans for delinquent taxes while eating dog food.

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    KnightphallHamilton Nolan
    3/31/15 12:14pm

    6) Retire

    Oh, wait. That really isn't an option these days for most folks anymore.

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      Tom Friedman's Mustache WaxKnightphall
      3/31/15 12:21pm

      I think if you're in your 30s, you might slip in juuuuuuuuuuust under the gate (with a 50/50 mix of luck and financial intelligence), but anyone younger better practice their Walmart greeting routine.

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      StenchofaburnerTom Friedman's Mustache Wax
      3/31/15 12:33pm

      I hate to be the bearer of bad news but by that time, Walmart will probably cut costs by replacing all the poor elderly greeters with these:

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    bay_estrianHamilton Nolan
    3/31/15 12:29pm

    But isn't that changing? I mean i am 34. I have, for the most part, grown up with computers. It seems that the elder worker may not be hired because of their inability to adapt to a changing work environment, an environment that more often than not is full of computers.

    Not saying that a lack of technological knowledge is the only reason, and i am sure there are numerous other as to why people are ageist, but not being able to use a computer at an elite level is pretty damning. Feels like Things are changing so fast that it is difficult to put stock in the analyzing of past practices, mainly because the practices that were analyzed are so different now.

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      ARP2bay_estrian
      3/31/15 12:40pm

      Yes, I think this is a big part of it. If you have to teach an older worker how to use Outlook, how to set up their smartphone to get company mail, etc. its viewed as more trouble than its worth.

      Also, some of the experience they have that was previously so valuable is more and more becoming automated.

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    SauceboyHamilton Nolan
    3/31/15 1:07pm

    I've railed on this before, but the biggest shift in the economy over 30 years has been the bending of the curve away from labor, and towards capital, similar to Piketty's argument. The accumulated impact of reducing capital gains taxes, and increasing income, property, and sales taxes, as well as eroding the social safety net, union-busting, and globalization has been incredibly regressive.

    The net impact is that if you're middle-aged, and you don't have equity, you're in a lot of trouble. And when I say equity, I don't mean capital as in savings, in a strict sense. What I mean is that if you're employed and you're 55 and you don't have significant agency in your company; i.e., head of this, head of that, stock options, points, etc., then you're incredibly vulnerable.

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      abc123Sauceboy
      3/31/15 1:19pm

      ...or at least a good salary and a well allocated portfolio. Uh, I hope. Cuz they don't make all that many partners in law firms anymore.

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      bourbon.p.millerSauceboy
      3/31/15 1:37pm

      Even if you're an executive, they'll still kick you out to hire someone who earns less. Really the only safe bet nowadays is to file a claim with the commission for age discrimination and hope for a $100,000-$300,000 settlement. I've seen that happen countless times

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    Don't drone me broHamilton Nolan
    3/31/15 12:41pm

    Cheaper foreign retirement locales like Thailand, Ecuador and many others are a growing industry, and sounding sweeter all the time. Just try not to get ransomed by a cartel, macheted in a coup, or killed by a coconut while sleeping on the beach.

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