Kinja reply list

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WinterisComingToAnEndHamilton Nolan
3/17/15 12:55pm
Weird, Jia over on Jezebel insists this is THE BEST IDEA EVER!!!!! Get on the same page Gawker!
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  c'est-a-direWinterisComingToAnEnd
  3/17/15 1:08pm
  Wait - different people have different opinions? I'm not sure I can handle this today.
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  WinterisComingToAnEndc'est-a-dire
  3/17/15 1:09pm
  Actually it's Hamilton being an intelligent and reasonable person and Jezebel being stroked out on crystal meth, but sure whatever.
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CornFieldRejectHamilton Nolan
3/17/15 1:06pm
If Starbucks wants to have a conversation on race, I'd like to have one with them. Mostly about why there are no Starbucks in my neighborhood, or hardly any other black neighborhood I've ever been in. We like coffee too! If Tim Hortons, McDonald's, and Dunkin Donuts can open franchises and try to sell me coffee, why not Starbucks?
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  cheerful_exgirlfriendCornFieldReject
  3/17/15 1:18pm
  There are at least 4 Starbucks within 1 mile in my town, that's not even all the Starbucks in my town just the biggest cluster. I would like to buy you a coffee at each so you can engage them with your very good question.
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  U_don'tgetmeCornFieldReject
  3/17/15 2:02pm
  Hellur! Exactly! I'm a honkey who lives in the hood. There are exactly ZERO Starbucks or any other coffee shops for miles around me. Wanna know how we get our coffee fix in the hood? We go to the corner gas station and pay 89 cents for our refills and I would give anything if one of the Arabic store clerks tried to engage me in a race discussion. It would be hysterical! Oh the race barriers we could crush as he rings up my coffee, Little Debbie honey bun, pack of smokes and blunt wrappers (yes, that's my actual purchase).
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ThePriceisWrongHamilton Nolan
3/17/15 1:03pm
I'm sure this will end well.
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  WinterisComingToAnEndThePriceisWrong
  3/17/15 1:08pm
  Jezebel is applauding Starbucks for this so I can already see this blowing up, like the detonation of every nuclear weapon on the planet simultaneously.
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  ThePriceisWrongWinterisComingToAnEnd
  3/17/15 1:19pm
  As a frequent commenter on Jez, I can say that really has nothing to do with the efficacy of the program. The fact that it's stupid as fuck is probably the more problematic part.
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LordBurleighHamilton Nolan
3/17/15 12:57pm
First those Chipotle bags and cups, now this impending fiasco; it seems to me that both provide perfect examples of how capitalism thinks it can fix social problems, and both demonstrate exactly why it can't.

Oh, and also, why white people in positions of power need to realize that the way social inequality will be solved is not by their ridiculous plans, but by their ceding power and influence to those who don't have it.
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  RedcrustinLordBurleigh
  3/17/15 1:47pm
  Capitalist social programming is old hat for Starbuck's. Their nods to corporatist environmentalism were just the start. If you're at all interested, here is a really fantastic study of Starbuck's that describes its business model in a neoliberal age.
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  LordBurleighRedcrustin
  3/17/15 2:00pm
  Sounds interesting—looks like the link didn't come through though, mind sending it again?
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╰(　´◔　ω　◔ `)╯< Woke and BokeHamilton Nolan
3/17/15 1:22pm
Thank goodness that the race problem will finally be solved in America's salons. We've secretly recorded the proceedings, let's have a listen:

Becky: Double Half-Caf, Skinny Latte Frappucino Heavy Syrup.

Bill the Barista: You hear the new Kendrick Lamar album?

Becky: Oh my goh, it's so gooood.

Bill the Barista: Word. Black people are cool.

Becky: Such good rappers.

Bill the Barista: Truth. I put my number on your cup if you wanna call me later. Fight the power.

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  Bekaby╰(　´◔　ω　◔ `)╯< Woke and Boke
  3/17/15 1:33pm
  
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  BigPlops╰(　´◔　ω　◔ `)╯< Woke and Boke
  3/17/15 2:53pm
  "becky" is a racial slur
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PhillyCheezitsHamilton Nolan
3/17/15 1:00pm
I personally plan on a long discussion on the century of brutal economic segregation that followed the Civil War! I will use my Venti Mocha Cookie Frappuccino as a launching point for a historical overview of the Tuskeegee Experiments! I will admit my own white privilege and the patriarchal power cultural hegemony it affords me by holding up the line indefinitely. These are the bold race solutions America needs!
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  WinterisComingToAnEndPhillyCheezits
  3/17/15 1:05pm
  You're holding up the line fuckwit. Get ready for some education by way of a lynching by the caffeine starved behind you.
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NotWorkingHamilton Nolan
3/17/15 1:02pm
Are they going to try and pull this shit in the drive-thru as well? Leaning out my driver-side window so a barista can try to "engage me in a discussion about race" while a line of running cars idle behind me sounds supremely uncomfortable.
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  WinterisComingToAnEndNotWorking
  3/17/15 1:17pm
  OMG WHY ARE YOU SO RACIST?!!! Being "mildly inconvenienced" is the least you could do!
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  Don't drone me broNotWorking
  3/17/15 1:33pm
  All the engine idling this will incur should hasten our mutual demise. Problem solved!
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Hollow_LogHamilton Nolan
3/17/15 1:24pm
speaking of race and Starbucks, what race is Ariana Grande?
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  kaysey17Hollow_Log
  3/17/15 6:09pm
  Ariana Grande Caramel Latte. :-)
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  TheWhiteBorpoHollow_Log
  3/17/15 10:06pm
  Short Italian
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etfpHamilton Nolan
3/17/15 1:29pm
I can't wait to be the black person that walks in like "Yeah, man. First name 'Race' Last name 'Together'. Write this on the fuckin cup and let's have a seat over there"
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  Denzel Washyourtongueetfp
  3/17/15 1:37pm
  This is also right after he was pulled over while black, and searched illegally. Yeah. Make that two coffees. I feel a long one coming on.
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Creative DestructionHamilton Nolan
3/17/15 1:03pm
"I want a tall skinny mocha"

"Great! That's $150.04. By the way, did you know that black people are more likely to be arrested for drug offenses, even when white people are more likely to take drugs? And, I mean, what the hell is up with this thing that white people have where they feel the need to dehumanize black people and want to pet their hair as if they were zoo animals, amirite? Don't get me started on the intra-racial tensions experienced by black people when it comes to lighter skinned folks getting more privilege in a white supremacist society than darker skinned folks, and all the anxiety that it causes for everyone involved. And, shit, did you know that our manager called me back for a job — Jack Whatsisface — because I have a 'white' sounding name, meanwhile, my friend who has a 'black' sounding name didn't even get a call, even though we have the exact same experience! How shit is that!?

Oh. Shit. Dude. Racial segregation still exists in most places, too.

Well, you have yourself a nice day!"

Man, that would be pretty awesome, I have to say. I usually have to wait in a Starbucks until my wife gets out of work (at a different place), but I'm gonna go there now just to test this out. I want to see suburbanite white kids sincerely try to pull off a conversation about race in this country.
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  WinterisComingToAnEndCreative Destruction
  3/17/15 1:04pm
  STOP TALKING AND JUST TAKE MY MONEY!
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