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    EldritchHamilton Nolan
    3/11/15 10:32am

    It's pathetic but I don't know what I'd do if Target went out of business. The one near me is right next to a Wegman's so I can get absolutely everything I need in one trip. Target's clean, well stocked, reasonably priced... how the fuck can they be doing so poorly?

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      toothpetardEldritch
      3/11/15 10:39am

      To me it seemed like a red walmart with a different smell.

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      SwipeRightForJesusEldritch
      3/11/15 10:41am

      I rely heavily on the Target near me for the pharmacy. I'd survive if it went out of business, but it sure would suck.

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    LordBurleighHamilton Nolan
    3/11/15 10:30am

    Guess we're coming to the end of the myth of infinite growth.

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      SlickWillieLordBurleigh
      3/11/15 10:38am

      the best part about that myth is that there was ever any growth at all. Executive leaders have been showing increasing profits to shareholders for years now, just by decreasing benefits and pay, and then eliminating positions altogether.

      The scary thing is, the executives, and the shareholders know this is the only reason they're seeing increased profits and all indications are, they don't give a fuck about actual growth. America right now is pretty much the left over carcass of the chicken being boiled in a pot for soup broth.

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      toothpetardSlickWillie
      3/11/15 10:41am

      Mmmmm, extracting profits.

      It's a good thing we wrested the definition of capitalism from whoever said it was about improving the means of production.

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    OMG!PONIES!Hamilton Nolan
    3/11/15 10:41am

    Please for the love of all that is good and pure, do not let Target fail.

    You don't understand...

    I have a baby. I go there, Pampers are on sale and if I buy two cases and they throw in a box of wipes. And then I use the app and get 5% off. Plus another 5% off that with the Target card. And I've got a 5% off all day coupon from filling my prescriptions there. And I have a coupon for a bakery good at the Starbucks with the purchase of a coffee beverage.

    Like seriously... what the hell am I supposed to do? Shop at the Walmart?

    Fuck that. Have you seen their housewares?! They're shitty as fuck. My house is a Target house. Threshold bedsheets and Fieldcrest towels. That's how we roll in my house.

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      BaggyTrousers3OMG!PONIES!
      3/11/15 10:50am

      I think you better start having more babies then. More babies = more diapers bought = more profit for Target = Target says open.

      Happy banging!

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      Myrna MinkoffOMG!PONIES!
      3/11/15 11:22am

      Are you Mr. Minkoff? Because this is basically us. I work to pay for daycare and Target runs.

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    RegretsalotHamilton Nolan
    3/11/15 10:31am

    I have a simple solution for Target to increase sales, public relations, and marketing in one simple move: Change your name. It's that simple.

    Good-bye, "Target."

    Hello, "Not Wal-Mart."

    People would shop the fuck out of "Not Wal-Mart." I'll wait for my seven-figure consulting fee, thank you.

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      kamla deviRegretsalot
      3/11/15 10:33am

      There are people who already view it this way.

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      1jaxstate1Regretsalot
      3/11/15 10:39am

      Umm, most of the people who shopped at Target pretty much use to do that because it wasn't Walmart. Not sure that plan is as solid as you may think.

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    MiniatureamericanflagsforothersHamilton Nolan
    3/11/15 10:27am

    Well union friendly Costco must be doing much worse . . . wait . . . they're not? Oh . . . um . . . FREEDOMNESS! BOOTSTRAPS!

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      BurnItAllToTheGroundMiniatureamericanflagsforothers
      3/11/15 10:31am

      Yeah, because the Target business model is the same as Costco....

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      myuniqueidentifieronkinjaMiniatureamericanflagsforothers
      3/11/15 10:53am

      Target and Costco are not the same, though. Costco doesn't advertise, they carry far fewer products, their sales per customer are much higher, their customers are more affluent, they don't really have a similar competitor in the market place (at least nowhere I've lived does).

      The problem with unionized employees is that they cost more, which means Target has to raise prices, which means everyone will go shop at Walmart. Despite how vocal some people may be about unions, most shoppers really don't care about anything other than price.

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    Rom RombertsHamilton Nolan
    3/11/15 10:50am

    On an unrelated and entirely personal note, I interviewed with Target Corporation for my first job out of undergrad. They flew me and several other drooling idiots to Minneapolis and then proceeded to cook us all in a series of what was, and still remains to this day, the strangest interviewing process I have ever been a part of. There were several questions where we went around the room and had to talk about what we liked the most about Target. I said I bought a nice blender there once. Then we were observed through video monitors during a breakout session. Then they gave each one of us a spear, pointed north, and said, "The man or woman who finds the white wolf and drains its blood on the altar of the Ice Wraith shall be named Draxis, King of Kings, and receive a $40k salary with full benefits."

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      CornFedIowaBoyRom Romberts
      3/11/15 10:58am

      But hey, they gave you a spear at least. #MinnesotaNice

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      OKTOBERFISTRom Romberts
      3/11/15 11:25am

      sounds appropriate for a company headquartered in The Land Of 1000 Lakes

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    SuffersfoolsgladlyHamilton Nolan
    3/11/15 10:40am

    I like Target because it has no music playing and it's nice to be somewhere quiet, especially around the holidays. Of course the employees have to wear walkie talkies, which are set to a face-melting decibel level and will sometimes shriek to life right next to me and cause me to shit myself, but I have solved this by running quietly and swiftly in the other direction when near an employee.

    It's less Meth-y than Walmart, too. When I have to go to Walmart, I want to cry, but when I leave Target, I merely feel slightly world weary..so it's better.

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      Trudy-CampbellSuffersfoolsgladly
      3/11/15 10:53am

      Yeah, I know people claim Target and Wal-Mart are no different and for the most part they are right. But the small differences are vitally important to my mental state. I have never been to a clean or smell-free Wal-Mart. Target is usually neat, and that gross Pizza Hut/Starbucks food does not make the whole store smell.

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      barelythere456Suffersfoolsgladly
      3/11/15 11:37am

      I had a really bad day at work last Thursday and I went to Target and just walked the aisles for two hours. I didn't really buy anything except groceries by the end, but damn, it felt good. That place is calming as hell.

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    toothpetardHamilton Nolan
    3/11/15 10:36am

    I shudder to think of having to find out where else I'll be able to get pringles and crest and nikes and my other leading brands, in the specific manner in which target provides them to me.

    If we lose that choice, we lose some of our freedominess, america.

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      Trudy-Campbelltoothpetard
      3/11/15 10:53am

      Target sells Nikes?

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      toothpetardTrudy-Campbell
      3/11/15 11:29am

      THEY DON'T?!

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    CatdogWhispererHamilton Nolan
    3/11/15 10:28am

    I hope Alex is ok.

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      Raw Deal MontyCatdogWhisperer
      3/11/15 10:32am

      He'll be fine. Will prob work at Abercrombie. Oh, wait...

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    Rum RaisinHamilton Nolan
    3/11/15 10:32am

    The internet (read Amazon) is slowly killing off all retail. Creative destruction or something. Amazon will become the Brawndo Corporation of the future

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      dothedewRum Raisin
      3/11/15 10:53am

      It is really starting to look like Apple, Google, Amazon and maybe Microsoft will be the conglomerates of the future, as everything just becomes hardware and software. Cars, appliances, clothes, services, whatever you need, at least 2 of those 4 will want to sell it to you.

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