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    UnderYetOverJay Hathaway
    3/02/15 11:02am

    You just know someone out there has a fetish for asking online advice for erection problems.

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      BurnerekoUnderYetOver
      3/02/15 11:30am

      Dear Dan Savage,

      Please help me.

      I have my dick stuck in a vice grip and the handle broke off.

      This happens a lot - I get my dick stuck in things and go ask people on the Internet for help.

      What's wrong with me?

      Sighed

      Dumb Internet Commenter Kid

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      BurnerekoBurnereko
      3/02/15 11:31am

      *Furiously masturbates when Savage replies*

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    cheerful_exgirlfriendJay Hathaway
    3/02/15 10:56am

    Something something sex tape.

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      The Ghost of ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ AKA BabyStepsJay Hathaway
      3/02/15 10:51am

      He sure seems to be in a sticky situation.

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        Ladybug2The Ghost of ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ AKA BabySteps
        3/02/15 10:56am

        He had too much Scotch.

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        Mail...KimpLadybug2
        3/02/15 11:17am

        You guys are on a roll

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      HerbertHasCandyJay Hathaway
      3/02/15 11:24am

      My first thought to get out of this situation.

      It would be a smaller version of what fire departments use to extract trapped people.

      However, it would be funny to see the guys face when the fire department pulls out this big saw to remove the tape roll from his privates.

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        The Ghost of ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ AKA BabyStepsHerbertHasCandy
        3/02/15 5:59pm

        If there were any situation in which the jaws of life were needed this would be it.

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      MimiladyJay Hathaway
      3/02/15 10:56am

      my birthday! :-D

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        gildedsplintersMimilady
        3/02/15 11:01am

        He got you a present, but for the life of him, couldn't find the tape to wrap it.

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        Shaken BaconMimilady
        3/02/15 11:02am

        Mine too! *High five*

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      NefertittiesJay Hathaway
      3/02/15 10:54am

      It should taper off eventually. He should try drinking some scotch. But there's no going out in public, since there's no masking an erection of that proportion.

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        SpangarangJay Hathaway
        3/02/15 10:57am

        All the while, Big Pharma continues to push ED medication on the unassuming populace, making bank by cashing in on our personal fears of poor sexual performance and convincing us the only answer is their little blue pill when, in fact, all we need to do is cram our dicks into everyday office supplies.

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          OMG!PONIES!Jay Hathaway
          3/02/15 11:27am

          As the new father of a little girl, I cannot express how relieved I am to not have to say to her, "Do not put your penis into random objects."

          There are many things that I will have to warn her about but inserting a penis into things that should not contain penises is not one of them.

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            IAMBlastedBiggsLostBurnerJay Hathaway
            3/02/15 11:20am

            I appreciate the fact that he put a date next to the engorged, trapped weenor. You know, so we can look back one day down the road, and chuckle fondly at that one day in late February when he got his weenor trapped in the tape roll! Man, that was a damn fine day, wasn't it? Well, except for Mr. Discount Cock Ring

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              kathotdogJay Hathaway
              3/02/15 11:00am

              Any cock'll do!

              http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=7pSABa…

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                Blood Cubic Zirconiakathotdog
                3/02/15 11:21am

                Odenkirk's dry voiceover really sells that sketch.

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