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    Quantum SuicideHamilton Nolan
    1/23/15 1:58pm

    I'm Mexican-American, and when I was a younger my white Mormon neighbors (who used to eat mayonnaise in a bowl, like pudding) would come over and put peanut butter on my mom's fresh flour tortillas.

    It grossed me out then and grosses me out now, because it's weird to eat anything on a non-heated flour tortilla. At the very least, throw some honey on that peanut butter, wrap it up, and press it like a panini.

    To reiterate: Cold flour tortillas are disgusting.

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      victornightingaleQuantum Suicide
      1/23/15 2:14pm

      who used to eat mayonnaise in a bowl, like pudding

      GIF
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      Quantum Suicidevictornightingale
      1/23/15 2:18pm

      Yes. And they differentiated between Miracle Whip and mayonnaise (like French vanilla versus regular vanilla, I think).

      They also ate cold flour tortillas with peanut butter. I have the same reaction to both "snacks."

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    Tom Servo's mechanical heart, Flat Earth TrutherHamilton Nolan
    1/23/15 3:05pm

    No. These. You're all welcome.

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      geritolcompleteTom Servo's mechanical heart, Flat Earth Truther
      1/23/15 3:47pm

      That looks like a lot of prep time.

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      Tom Servo's mechanical heart, Flat Earth Truthergeritolcomplete
      1/23/15 3:54pm

      No! They come frozen, they just have to thaw. I mean technically they are made for children to take in their school lunches or whatever, but fuck that, they are delicious and have the perfect ratio of bread/pb/j. I have no children, nor do I have any shame.

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    Jennifer C. MartinHamilton Nolan
    1/23/15 1:51pm

    The worst part of the PB&J for true PB&J lovers is the bread ratio. You have to pile on peanut butter and jelly to get the right proportions of peanut butter and jelly goodness, making your sandwich roughly 3000 calories. This is a solution to everything. Bravo. Stand out of my way, bread. Go back to the toaster where you belong. We're here for peanut butter and jelly.

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      BeyoncesNoPantsDanceJennifer C. Martin
      1/23/15 2:05pm

      Toasting the bread resolves the breadiness issue. Plus, you get a nice crunch (because you can only use crunchy peanut butter if you are a communist).

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      Lil FunyunsBeyoncesNoPantsDance
      1/23/15 2:45pm

      Yes! Toasting is the way to make any sandwich better. My husband hates it because of crumbs. I feel that's a small price to pay for a less squishy and more delicious sandwhich.

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    Brendan O'ConnorHamilton Nolan
    1/23/15 1:49pm

    I'm not even going to brag that I've been doing this since the 6th grade, I'm just going to be glad that more people know about it now. Not bragging. Just glad.

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      Leah FinneganHamilton Nolan
      1/23/15 1:49pm

      hamilton—last night i had peanut butter on a rice cake with chocolate chips. is this ok? please advise.

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        Hamilton NolanLeah Finnegan
        1/23/15 1:51pm

        Nope.

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        RCColaLeah Finnegan
        1/23/15 1:59pm

        Nobody will ever convince me that rice cakes are not made from the same material they make packing peanuts out of.

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      KwisatzHaderachHamilton Nolan
      1/23/15 1:42pm

      been eating this awesome thing for about 5 years. Probably one of the top 10 things my partner has brought into my life. Quick, easy, and with a glass of chocolate (soy/almond) milk, arguably one of the better 2-minute lunch/snacks out there.

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        Hamilton NolanKwisatzHaderach
        1/23/15 1:45pm

        Thank you. Great comment.

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        KwisatzHaderachHamilton Nolan
        1/23/15 2:01pm

        we also have some olives on the side for a simple but more savory addition to our palette. Plus, you can stretch 8-10 bucks over a whole week.

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      IAmNotADamnWriterHamilton Nolan
      1/23/15 1:53pm

      Wraps of all kinds are the bane of human existence and are hastening the dissolution of civilization, as we do or don't know it.

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        IAmNotADamnWriterIAmNotADamnWriter
        1/23/15 2:18pm

        And who uses multigrain tortillas with peanut butter and jelly, anyway? If you're going to go forward with this wrap idea and PB&J, you need pure, simple, non-grocery-store, handmade white-flour tortillas, freshly made by someone's abuela just minutes earlier.

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        IAmNotADamnWriterIAmNotADamnWriter
        1/23/15 2:25pm

        "Hear, hear, as the purported and original inventor of the sandwich, I heartily concur. Let all hear the call to banish wraps from the land." —John Montagu, Fourth Earl of Sandwich.

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      Jennifer C. MartinHamilton Nolan
      1/23/15 1:49pm

      Slightly less sugar? Peanut butter breakfast burrito: peanut butter, sliced banana, sliced strawberries in a tortilla. Tastes good too.

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        GibbelinsJennifer C. Martin
        1/23/15 2:07pm

        That would clearly be improved by replacing the peanut butter with nutella.

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        Jennifer C. MartinGibbelins
        1/23/15 2:13pm

        that is happening tomorrow, my friend, now that you have mentioned it.

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      Leslie HornHamilton Nolan
      1/23/15 1:51pm

      You're a sick fuck.

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        Hamilton NolanLeslie Horn
        1/23/15 1:52pm

        Rude.

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        Leslie HornHamilton Nolan
        1/23/15 1:54pm

        Normally, I'm with you. But the flavor profiles here just don't match up.

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      Dayna EvansHamilton Nolan
      1/23/15 1:48pm

      You should open a restaurant....

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        BeyoncesNoPantsDanceDayna Evans
        1/23/15 2:03pm

        It would serve Fage Greek yogurt (not that fucking semen shit in a cup Chobani), PB&JT, and no one would be able to actually sit down. Just as you were sitting, someone would pull the chair out from under you so that you just did a really good squat.

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