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    MTAHamilton Nolan
    1/08/15 10:05am

    If you eat Foie Gras, not only are you an asshole, you are an asshole eating a big, diseased piece of meat. Think about it. The liver can only get that big (have you ever seen a whole one? It's bigger than most regularly sized ducks) because it is grossly unhealthy. Because the poor birds are force fed. And they are force fed by having tubes shoved down their throats.

    I like meat. A lot. But foie gras is essentially a fatty piece of diseased torture fat on a plate. Enjoy.

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      koishkiMTA
      1/08/15 10:14am

      True. Its also fucking delicious.

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      GoOnWithoutMeMTA
      1/08/15 10:16am

      Agree. Fatty liver syndrome glop would be an apt name for it. I wonder how many medical professionals eat any liver at all.

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    pswiftHamilton Nolan
    1/08/15 10:00am

    This seems completely fitting, since geese are the assholes of the fowl world. Seriously, all of them are total fucking assholes.

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      Beelzebub's Advocatepswift
      1/08/15 10:10am

      Birds in general are kind of dicks. Turkeys? Total idiot assholes who walk out in front of my car and stop, even with me honking and inching forward. Chickens? Complete pricks, go collect eggs some time, they're totally nice about it, I promise. My dog bears a number of scars from being attacked by geese, she ran up to a flock of them in derpy dog "I wanna play" mode, and they descended upon her with their unholy wrath of pecking and scratching. She could have easily put them in their place (which is hell) but she's a very passive and peace loving dog (borderline stupid), and just sat down and cried. Fuck geese. Gavage a couple extra for me.

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      pswiftBeelzebub's Advocate
      1/08/15 10:15am

      Golf course geese might be the worst of the bunch. One of them was near my ball. I walk up, golf club in hand, and the thing starts hissing and charging. I screamed like a little girl and ran away. With the golf club in my hand. Which would have turned that goose into foie gras. He was terrifying.

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    Hip Brooklyn StereotypeHamilton Nolan
    1/08/15 9:57am

    Am I the only one who cannot STAND self-application of the term "foodie"? "Oh, I'm just such a little foodie, yum yum yum!" It makes my skin crawl.

    If your chief "hobby" is consuming food then you're an immense bore.

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      Quint the GreyerHip Brooklyn Stereotype
      1/08/15 9:59am

      I'm gonna guess we are far from alone. It's a truly twatty term.

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      JerkBeastDeluxeHip Brooklyn Stereotype
      1/08/15 10:01am

      The use of "foodie" is acceptable when some hipster scum can't (in good conscience) call themselves a connoisseur.

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    LadyFisterHamilton Nolan
    1/08/15 10:01am

    Can we just universally agree that when someone calls themselves a "foodie" they should be proclaiming themselves to be pretentious assholes?

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      kstewLadyFister
      1/08/15 10:16am

      absolutely been saying that for years.

      I LOVE good food, but if I ever started thinking of myself as a 'foodie', I'd have to kick my own ass.

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      opiumsmabytchLadyFister
      1/08/15 10:25am

      Yes.

      I like food too but prefer the term "glutinous over-eating pig".

      Far more honest a label.

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    Sam BiddleHamilton Nolan
    1/08/15 10:07am

    Foie gras doesn't even taste good.

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      RegretsalotSam Biddle
      1/08/15 10:10am

      Mmmmm...tastes like suffering.

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      SirUnoSam Biddle
      1/08/15 10:10am

      Yes. Yes it does indeed.

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    benjaminalloverHamilton Nolan
    1/08/15 10:01am

    Needs re-branding. How about Torture Goo? Rich People Cat Food? Goose Hell Muck?

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      kamla devibenjaminallover
      1/08/15 10:30am

      Those titles would make it sell like gangbusters.

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      Mike_Smithbenjaminallover
      1/08/15 11:17am

      Freedom Paste?

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    SemanticsHamilton Nolan
    1/08/15 9:59am

    There is a Spanish Foie Gras producer where the geese are free range and never force fed. Not all Foie is from tortured birds.

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      OroroMonroeSemantics
      1/08/15 10:01am

      I heard that story on NPR last year! It was fascinating!!!

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      ThrumbolioSemantics
      1/08/15 10:04am

      Nuanced thinking!? BEGONE!

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    milesriles2Hamilton Nolan
    1/08/15 10:07am

    Great post and let's add that veal is for assholes too.

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      pessimismmilesriles2
      1/08/15 11:07am

      Veal is a byproduct of the dairy industry. Dairy bulls are only useful for getting the cows pregnant (you don't raise dairy breeds for their meat, that's what meat breeds are for), so you don't need many of them. Also, cows only produce milk after giving birth. As a result of these 2 things, a lot of useless male calves are born, so rather than raise them to adulthood for their mediocre meat, they're slaughtered young. This doesn't mean that veal calves are always treated humanely (they're not), but that's a problem for every species we raise for food.

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      milesriles2pessimism
      1/08/15 4:17pm

      "This doesn't mean that veal calves are always treated humanely (they're not), but that's a problem for every species we raise for food." Really. Even corn?

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    김치전!Hamilton Nolan
    1/08/15 10:07am

    So, foie gras is "delicious" because the gravage feeding gives it fatty liver, right? Why can't we just make it from middle-aged white dudes who drank themselves to death? Sounds like a win-win to me.

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      neuroradical2김치전!
      1/08/15 10:12am

      I volunteer my liver for this. Give me 10-15 years

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      Rodimus Prime Mover III, Esq.김치전!
      1/08/15 10:16am

      I hear that goes well with some fava beans and a nice chianti

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    UncleCCClaudiusHamilton Nolan
    1/08/15 10:01am

    I thought Champagne was for assholes? I can't keep up with all the new asshole trends.

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      cuntybawsUncleCCClaudius
      1/08/15 10:08am

      Anything that has to be pronounced in French is a good start. Unless you are French. Or in France. And apart from exceptions to that arbitrary rule I just thought of. Such as croissants.

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      Dead2Writescuntybaws
      1/08/15 11:24am

      Uhh, you mean cwasohnnnnz?

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