Kinja reply list

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NomNom83Anna Merlan
12/17/14 3:06pm
Serious question:

Is there any generally accepted treatment for a stalker? In other words, a kind of therapy that has shown promise in getting stalkers to stop and understand what they were doing and why it's wrong? Officially, what does the DSM call this disorder, if anything? Or is it a manifestation of a bunch of other diagnoses?

I guess what I'm saying in a round about way is, what the fuck is wrong with stalkers and what is the cure? Because arresting and restraining them seems to be a losing battle.
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  Jacobm001NomNom83
  12/17/14 3:45pm
  I asked a friend who's a counselor that question a while ago, and her response was "it depends...". Stalking isn't really an issue you'd find in the DSM. Rather, it's an issue brought on by a whole crapton of possible reasons. Some medical, others not.
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  Seize: it's about ethics in gossip journalismNomNom83
  12/17/14 10:20pm
  This just a part of a much larger question about sex offenders: when we identify one, and it's not ethical to put them in prison forever, what can we do to help that person and protect future victims?
  
  I don't think that our system even attempts to address these behaviors constructively. Nor are effective measures taken to incarcerate sex offenders in ways that aren't cruel to either that person or to other incarcerated persons. In fact, barbaric though it may be, it's a common enough sentiment that the rate of sex offenses against incarcerated persons is a desirable or inevitable state of affairs.
  
  There is no simple answer to your question, and disturbingly, there also isn't a broad social push to identify potential answers.
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AP BearAnna Merlan
12/17/14 2:55pm
If ever a stalker could be indentified by his eyebrows...

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  GryphonMageAP Bear
  12/17/14 3:09pm
  they make him look like a vampire from Buffy.
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  Mr.Noir, Liberal Hippie KingAP Bear
  12/17/14 5:14pm
  Doing your 1980 Jack Nicholson face doesn't help make you look innocent or harmless.
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LadyGrinningSoulAnna Merlan
12/17/14 2:41pm

GIF

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VinAnna Merlan
12/17/14 3:08pm
I can't help but wonder why Mr. Hurd didn't use the opportunity to ask Ashanti why she stopped doing duets with Ja Rule.

(This situation is so goddamn shady that I had to lighten the situation somehow. And I really do miss her duets with Ja Rule, so there's that.)
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CloudywithmeetballsAnna Merlan
12/17/14 2:38pm
A man who is his own lawyer has a fool for a client.
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  acciomeowCloudywithmeetballs
  12/17/14 4:35pm
  Back in HS, I took a crime and law class. We went to see a trial, and this lady decided to represent herself. I thought it was complete BS, and if I'd been on the jury, would not have been convinced. It was an assault, I think?
  
  Checked the papers the next day. She won.
  
  A few years later, I served on my first jury. I was shocked at the people who were on it with me. Like, they were dumb. Flat out idiots. Kept trying to argue that since he didn't testify, he was obviooously guilty, and I was like, "look guys, then one thing the judge said that we 100% can not do is rule guilty because he didn't take the stand." Ugh. It was awful. We did end up ruling that the guy was guilty though. Point is, I'm very unimpressed by jury quality now.
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KunimitsuAnna Merlan
12/17/14 2:50pm
Does the right to face your accuser trump a restraining order? Is there no restraining order? Does he have grounds for appeal because he's both crazy and deficient as a lawyer? If he asks frivolous, leading, or inappropriately sexual questions of Ashanti can he get cited for contempt?
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  NomNom83 Kunimitsu
  12/18/14 2:57am
  1. Yes.
  
  2. I thought there was, but I'm on my phone and can't scroll back up to see.
  
  3. I believe there is precedent for that, yes.
  
  4. Yes.
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ihatepickingnamesAnna Merlan
12/17/14 3:05pm
The fact that Hurd cross examined Ashanti is perfectly normal. He chose to represent himself so if the prosecution put Ashanti on the stand to testify he obviously would cross her. That's the way the system works.

Now of course there is certainly the question of whether that's how the system should work (there are comments floating around here about how an attorney is assigned in Ontario specifically to cross the victim where the accused is representing themselves) but that's not discussed in this piece.

The fact that Hurd crossed Ashanti is shocking only to the extent that people don't realize that's how the system works. But in context, there's nothing noteworthy about it (again, this isn't to say there couldn't/shouldn't be a discussion about the system as it's set up now).
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  comment_commentihatepickingnames
  12/17/14 3:19pm
  It's not noteworthy that a stalker that had a no contact order, and was being brought to court for breaking it, was then cross examining the person he was not to contact, therefore legally contacting her??? This makes my head spin... I know your not defending the system, but I don't think anyone here is confused about how the court works, just that it would work in this way in this specific circumstance. I think its very noteworthy.
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  ihatepickingnamescomment_comment
  12/17/14 3:28pm
  Yes, I see that a lot of people didn't realize that the system would work that way in this situation (which tbf I'm a lawyer so I can't judge what would or would not be common knowledge). My issue with this isn't necessarily that it's being noted that he crossed her. It's how/why. I think it's being taken out of its context to be presented as a rare/unheard of thing to make the story more salacious. And I think that makes it look like him crossing her is in itself newsworthy (as in unique to this situation and not something that happens every day because it's how the system is built). I wanted to clarify exactly that—that this is actually exactly how it works on a daily basis.
  
  So in a way, yeah, I am saying it's not noteworthy. But not really 100%. This one situation isn't noteworthy because that's the way the system is built so it happens every day. Now, the fact the system works that way is/could be noteworthy. Which is why I said I wasn't saying that a debate about that shouldn't be had. I just think that the way it's presented here makes it look like him crossing her wasn't a completely normal thing in our judicial system when it really is.
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jkredwineAnna Merlan
12/17/14 3:11pm
When this happens on SVU I always think "nahhhhhh, that shit doesn't fly in real life. right? right??"

I didn't actually want an answer.
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PBandKAnna Merlan
12/17/14 3:05pm
Earlier that month a fan spotted Mr. Hurd in the photo taken with Ms. Douglas at a charity event, then posted it online. Mr. Hurd himself later reposted the photo on one of his Twitter accounts, with a caption saying, "Yeah that's me the falsely accused stalker."

Excellent use of social media. Good job, fan!
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friendlyfeministharpyAnna Merlan
12/17/14 2:38pm
Why don't people come forward or press charges? Because of this shit. He got to legally harass her.

GIF

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A man who is his own lawyer has a fool for a client.