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    IAMBlastedBiggsLostBurnerAndy Cush
    12/02/14 10:39am

    Wait....you mean an actual physical process—"female ejaculation"—which, conceivably, occurs when somebody is experiencing all sorts of pleasure, is banned, but beastiality isn't?

    Sucks for the animals, I guess....or maybe not.

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      GuiltyThornIAMBlastedBiggsLostBurner
      12/02/14 10:42am

      scats not listed either. Orgasm=banned, poop on their chest= a ok

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      IAMBlastedBiggsLostBurnerGuiltyThorn
      12/02/14 10:44am

      Awesome! Cleveland Steamers for all!! Whether you're into that sort of thing or not!

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    KittensAndUnicorns_v2_The UprisingAndy Cush
    12/02/14 10:37am

    i'd have loved to be a fly in the room, listening to these old fuddy duddies discuss what is and is not appropriate. like, i'd love to hear their explanation for why female ejaculation isn't appropriate, but male ejaculation is totes cool guys!

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      Raw Deal MontyKittensAndUnicorns_v2_The Uprising
      12/02/14 10:39am

      a room full of old fuddy duddies with their legs crossed, arms on laps, hiding old fuddy duddy raging boners.

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      chattygalKittensAndUnicorns_v2_The Uprising
      12/02/14 10:40am

      I assume that the government will have someone screening UK-produced porn to assure that it meets the new guidelines. You just know whoever volunteers for "are all knuckles inserted?" duty on fisting videos has a personal collection bigger than the Library of Congress.

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    Dave Andy Cush
    12/02/14 10:38am

    Female ejaculation? There is a certain absurd logic to most of the list, if you are a tight assed prude, but female ejaculation?

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      Cherith CutestoryDave
      12/02/14 10:45am

      If you allow women to enjoy sex on film they might start wanting to in real life. Then society crumbles.

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      getyolifechiiilewityoshadypalmtreeselfCherith Cutestory
      12/02/14 10:56am

      I overheard a group of bay street suits (Toronto's wall street) complaining about how annoying it is that nowadays women expect to not only orgasm but to squirt. All this time I thought all men enjoyed making their partner orgasm

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    Raw Deal MontyAndy Cush
    12/02/14 10:34am

    And here lies Howie Eatham, death by facesitting.

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      EagerCommenterAndy Cush
      12/02/14 10:35am

      Brit here. Have no fear, we have the decency to ignore this kind of rubbish coming from up top.

      One must have one's hardcore, after all.

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        Harbour SealEagerCommenter
        12/02/14 10:40am

        Yes, if I want to do some spanking, I'm not going to give two hoots about what Call-me-Dave says. all this serves to do is push the production of BDSM porn underground and puts the actors at ever greater risk.

        It's Tories who are into this sort of stuff anyways. Hypocrites.

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      HiMyNameIsJayAgainAndy Cush
      12/02/14 10:45am

      One of my fantasies is to have a lady squirt in my face.

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        rudi_freudeHiMyNameIsJayAgain
        12/02/14 12:47pm
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      DEGALOUISAndy Cush
      12/02/14 10:37am

      In all seriousness, no irony, no jokes...and as a former producer of content in porn/adult ent., this is really disturbing.

      "It's a set of weird and arbitrary censorship rules decided between the BBFC, the police and the CPS. There appear to be no rational explanations for most of the R18 rules – they're simply a set of moral judgements designed by people who have struggled endlessly to stop the British people from watching pornography."

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        GalvarezAndy Cush
        12/02/14 10:41am

        WTF is "urolagnia"? And am I really that sheltered? Supposed I should go back to Tinder...

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          chattygalGalvarez
          12/02/14 10:52am

          Golden showers and the like. Just a fancy name for getting peed on.

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          Galvarezchattygal
          12/02/14 11:15am

          Ok cool, cause I've def heard of golden showers (thanks R Kelly) but urolagnia? I would have googled, but work computer...

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        Cherith CutestoryAndy Cush
        12/02/14 10:40am

        This is less about porn and more about preserving cultural legacy. Like France preserving the French language. What is England without sexual and emotional repression?

        They have also banned any and all Lifetime movies that could endure "emotional reactions including but not limited to tears, sobbing, and hugging loved ones."

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          aztecprincessCherith Cutestory
          12/02/14 3:42pm

          After all, these are the people who made Alan Turing choose between incarceration and chemical castration for being gay. They need to loosen up a bit, methinks.

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        Medieval KnievelAndy Cush
        12/02/14 11:22am

        Penetration by any object "associated with violence"

        This will at last end the scourge of penis porn.

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