Kinja reply list

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potatogamineHudson Hongo
11/30/14 2:03pm
I would NEVER want to see my family that badly.
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  burlivesleftnutpotatogamine
  11/30/14 2:11pm
  True, but it's not the travelers' faults. We just have a fucked up screening system that goes batshit even though you can count on the same amount of people traveling through the airports on the same days every year.
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  Jerry-Netherlandburlivesleftnut
  11/30/14 3:22pm
  One of the safest airports in the world is Amsterdam-Schiphol, and getting through international security there takes under 20 seconds. No kabuki theatre; nobody copping a feel; no shoes off. If The Netherlands can do it so well, there are only two reasons the US does it can be:
  
  First and foremost: enormous, lucrative contracts for excessive, overpriced screening machines (nobody's hiding a bomb in their urethra - NOBODY) and myriad other screening supplies (ever get your bag wanded with the Swiffer-like stick for some reason? I did, and I asked what it was for - knowing that neither explosives nor drugs had ever touched that bag. Answer: precaution); Secondly, and netting equally deplorable results, a populace forced by law into conformity and fear (the very definition of terrorism, only this time perpetrated by the government itself. Thanks, George W. Bush)
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burlivesleftnutHudson Hongo
11/30/14 2:09pm
Fuck the TSA.
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  Jerry-Netherlandburlivesleftnut
  11/30/14 2:33pm
  If you're flying LAX-JFK or LAX-EWR, you can indeed say "Fuck the TSA". American, Delta and United are now chauffering first class/VIP passengers straight onto the tarmac!
  
  Each of them did tie-in promotional deals (American with Cadillac, United with Mercedes-Benz, and Delta with Porsche).
  
  The rich; they're just not like the rest of us. It wasn't enough for them to have the "First Class and Club members" TSA line (which is, in fact a breeze compared to the hoi-polloi line, now the elite get to bypass the airport entirely!
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  GELLA - LLAPburlivesleftnut
  11/30/14 2:55pm
  Its Southwest airport, so what ever, its expected
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RCColaHudson Hongo
11/30/14 2:08pm
Look, what do you want? Security theatre takes time.
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  toothpetardRCCola
  11/30/14 2:33pm
  Jobs? Created.
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  dothedewRCCola
  11/30/14 4:06pm
  It's worse than security theater, because it creates the very conditions it pretends to alleviate: the mile + long line of people is a very attractive terrorist target — it would shut down the air travel system same as an attack on a plane — because it is before the security checkpoint. Madness!
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IkerCatsillasHudson Hongo
11/30/14 4:59pm
travel tip: instead of visiting family over thanksgiving, come to europe. it's off-season in italy and france, so everything is cheaper and less crowded, and there are a lot of lovely christmas markets and holiday festivals scattered around the continent. the weather isn't great everywhere (although here in the south of france, it's in the mid-sixties), but it's better than most parts of the us.... and for once, you won't be surrounded by hordes of dumb americans.
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  G3istbotIkerCatsillas
  12/01/14 2:05pm
  I think I'm going to go to Germany next year.
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  IkerCatsillasG3istbot
  12/01/14 2:58pm
  oooh, good idea! if you can, try to find a city with a christmas market - no one does christmas like the germans.
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Jerry-NetherlandHudson Hongo
11/30/14 2:10pm
Kafkaesque? Take your luggage and get out!

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  AdamJohnsonNYCJerry-Netherland
  11/30/14 2:13pm
  Actually looks like fun:
  
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  phunkshunAdamJohnsonNYC
  11/30/14 2:28pm
  Sometimes the Onion just transcends to a whole new level. This is one of those times.
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StevenRayMorrisHudson Hongo
11/30/14 2:06pm
And people make fun of me for getting to the airport three hours early.
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  NixQuesoStevenRayMorris
  11/30/14 2:13pm
  Seriously. Nobody understands why I do this as well. Even if it means sitting at the airport (bar) forever, I just would rather be bored than rushed and stressed out. If it's a terrible/small/nothing to do airport I may cut this down to two hours.
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  DontBeSuchaBoobPunchTinaStevenRayMorris
  11/30/14 2:16pm
  I don't think that would've done it in this case.
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buonragazzoHudson Hongo
11/30/14 2:06pm
That's what you get for not being a Platinum Gold Star Medallion Red Carpet Alliance Preferred Capital Select member. Wait in line with the rest of the steerage!
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  Executor Elassusbuonragazzo
  11/30/14 2:22pm
  I can totally see some tinted-window H2 plowing through the crowd, jumping the barrier, and rolling up to the checkpoint: the window goes down, and some middle-aged heiress with her fourth vodka martini in hand leans out and shouts, "is this the line for the Extra VIPs? Because we're Extra VIP!" and the agents making obsequies and helping her to the front of the line while the rent-a-cops beat back the Poors with tazer-prods and pepper spray.
  
  PS- EAT THE RICH.
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e.nonHudson Hongo
11/30/14 2:13pm
jesusfuckingchrist... the collapse of the u.s. into third world conditions continues apace... just wait for one of the major bridges to collapse because of deterioration.

the airline ceos should be restricted from flying into anything other than major airports and flying coach on their airline. no private jets allowed.
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  Emily_8361e.non
  11/30/14 2:26pm
  "...just wait for one of the major bridges to collapse because of deterioration."
  
  Already happened several years ago in Mpls, MN with the 35W bridge collapse.
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Quint the GreyerHudson Hongo
11/30/14 2:07pm
And when you get to the front only half the sections will be open...
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LordBurleighHudson Hongo
11/30/14 2:05pm
The new signs on the Stevenson on-ramps:

WELCOME TO CHICAGO

MAYOR RAHM EMMANUEL SAYS: "HEY MAN, THIS HAPPENS SOMETIMES"
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