Kinja reply list

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NefertittiesAndy Cush
11/26/14 3:49pm
My boyfriend's mother became concerned when we told her about our new $650 toilet seat (it heats your bum and moistens your asshole) but she spends about that much per month on gin, so fuck her. Everyone has their stupid unnecessary expenditures that they should be ashamed of. It's what makes us Americans.
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  Andy CushNefertitties
  11/26/14 3:51pm
  Moistens your asshole!
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  The Ghost of ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ AKA BabyStepsNefertitties
  11/26/14 3:55pm
  That toilet seat sounds like a bargain at half the price if it will moisten an asshole or two!
  
  Seriously though, I want one of those!!!
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Hamilton NolanAndy Cush
11/26/14 4:06pm

The next Chet Haze
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  MarksMakerHamilton Nolan
  11/26/14 4:16pm
  I'm confused by that tweet. I thought he was a writer - as in, someone who has facility with words.
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  Shut Up!Hamilton Nolan
  11/26/14 4:27pm
  If he's the next Chet Haze, then I suppose it won't be long until we hear about his secret trip to rehab and how he's been battling a cocaine an alcohol problem since the age of 16.
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HunterPenceNoneTheRicherAndy Cush
11/26/14 3:39pm
Those are the ugliest fucking shoes Ive seen in a LOOOOOOOOng time
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  quietgrrrlHunterPenceNoneTheRicher
  11/26/14 3:43pm
  He needs to explain niche fashion to you, apparently. Make that both of us, because I think they're fugly, too.
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  DontBeSuchaBoobPunchTinaHunterPenceNoneTheRicher
  11/26/14 3:43pm
  They are hideous. I went to their website to see what other styles they have, and it only gets worse .
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dothedewAndy Cush
11/26/14 4:04pm
Niche fashion? They look like Clarks.

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  quietgrrrldothedew
  11/26/14 4:17pm
  But do they cost $600?
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  popcornisdeliciousdothedew
  11/26/14 4:30pm
  I think they look like Minnetonka moccasins had sex with a pair of Clarks and this is the result.
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Shut Up!Andy Cush
11/26/14 3:44pm
Right...Like anybody even really noticed homies shoes. More likely he approached everyone and was all, "want to see my $600.00 shoes?" "Hey, you ever see a pair of $600.00 dollar shoes?" Anybody notice what I have on my feet?" All the while extending his legs out to prominently display his fancy footwear.
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  AuntySocialiteShut Up!
  11/26/14 3:48pm
  Maybe he just leaves the price tags on them. "Oh this, on the bottom of my shoe? Did I forget to remove the price tag? Hah how silly of me".
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  MrSchmitzkyShut Up!
  11/26/14 3:52pm
  What am I supposed to walk to the kitchen in MY NEW $800.00 SHOES?! Gob Bluth yells to no one.
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TheonGreycommentJoyAndy Cush
11/26/14 3:41pm

Explaining niche fashion to a person who knows literally nothing on the subject is like being a senator and being asked to summarize how to pass a bill in one or two sentences.

I'd actually argue that it's pretty easy: "I'm wearing overpriced little boy shoes because I'm a moron/ raging dickfart/ both."
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  More Ghosts Less StuffTheonGreycommentJoy
  11/26/14 3:53pm
  Raging Dickfart... I may have to change my nickname to that. /strokes chin
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  DontBeSuchaBoobPunchTinaMore Ghosts Less Stuff
  11/26/14 7:32pm
  It's my new band name. Can you play bass?
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septembergrrlAndy Cush
11/26/14 3:42pm
Subtext: HEY LOOK I PAID $600 FOR SHOES I MATTER.

I seriously doubt his family cared.
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  DontBeSuchaBoobPunchTinaseptembergrrl
  11/26/14 7:24pm
  That's why he had to write about it. They didn't give him the attention he expected, so.
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  krangitseptembergrrl
  11/27/14 2:37am
  Yeah, this guy reminds me of that girl at the party (she is at every party) who starts talking about her boyfriend in the middle of a discussion on music. "Yeah, my boyfriend loooooooves them. Did I mention I have a boyfriend?"
  
  Those shoes, like the boyfriend, never bring him up in conversation.
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G3istbotAndy Cush
11/26/14 4:30pm
This reminds me of the time my uncle asked me why I spent $1,200 on a computer I built, and why didn't I just pick up one for $400 at best buy. I told him because I use it for "fun" and saw more value in building my own with high-end parts.

He understood, not because he understood the actual intrinsic value of what I was purchasing, but because I didn't treat him like like a moron while I fell into a pool of self doubt over my purchase.

Seriously, if you can't explain why you bought the shoes with "Because I really like them and had the money", than you're doing something horribly wrong.
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  odaeyssG3istbot
  11/26/14 4:55pm
  THAT IS THE PERFECT TIME FOR A CAR ANALOGY. Like not even a little joking. It's the difference between buying an Hyundai off the lot and putting together a big block from pieces in your garage. More money and time goes into it but the end result is unmistakeably different and for a different kind of use. And nothing against Hyundai or $400 best buy computers — both have a place and a use and are fine for what they are.
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  ZephyrMarieG3istbot
  11/29/14 11:42am
  I bought a pair of $800 boots (for $110 on sale, woo!) and a few people have recognized the brand and snidely called me out about how 'rich' I must be to afford them. When they ask why I bought them I say 'because I can' and then air hump in their direction. I let them think about how such a non-classy person such as myself can own and wear a pair of rich snobby boots. Somehow, it makes me happier.
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Búho se PierdeAndy Cush
11/26/14 3:44pm

How do you explain that $600 sneakers aren't the craziest thing on the planet?

Okay.
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  mrsfinchBúho se Pierde
  11/26/14 4:21pm
  I'm waiting, too.
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opiumsmabytchAndy Cush
11/26/14 3:50pm
So he is an asshole with more money then sense. Got it.

Not sure what "stunt" he was trying to pull other than come off as a showy jackass with ugly shoes.
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