Discussion
  • Read More
    Taint NuttinAndy Cush
    10/24/14 10:44am

    At around 4 a.m. Tuesday morning, a 35-year-old man in Roy, Utah called a suicide hotline looking for help...

    Mission accomplished!

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      a most evil queenTaint Nuttin
      10/24/14 10:49am

      "Yes, hello, suicide hotline? I need some help."

      "You got it pal! Several officers are in route to your home to shoot you!"

      "That's not what I meant by-"

      "Thank you for calling the suicide assistance line!" *click*

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      DolemiteTaint Nuttin
      10/24/14 11:02am

      "Welcome to the Suicide Hotline. How may we suicide you?" "Oops, I meant to call the suicide-*prevention* hotline, my bad." "Too late sir, we've already unleashed SWAT to your location. Prepare for impending suicide."

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    CatdogWhispererAndy Cush
    10/24/14 10:46am

    [original post redacted]

    Utah sucks

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      800lbgCatdogWhisperer
      10/24/14 10:51am

      The founder of their fucking religion was shot to death by an anti-Mormon mob in Missouri which is why they moved to Utah. I'm no great fan of the LDS, but let's get our facts straight.

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      CatdogWhisperer800lbg
      10/24/14 10:56am

      Oops, thanks! My blind hatred for Utah and ultra-conservative shit is something I should really work on. I'm embarrassed, I'm normally so hard on people who don't fact check. I'll fix it.

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    OMG!PONIES!Andy Cush
    10/24/14 10:56am

    Seven hours?! If I call a suicide hotline, I expect a police officer to come and shoot me dead in less time than that!

    Don't get me wrong... I appreciate the help (I'm not much of a do-it-yourselfer) but a seven hour service window is simply too much time to wait for a suicide delivery. The police really need to step it up.

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      Icecold DavisAndy Cush
      10/24/14 10:44am

      Utah Police Refuse to Negotiate, Cut Out Middleman

      Reply
      <
      • Read More
        SisterCarrieAndy Cush
        10/24/14 10:44am

        The SWAT team's shift was almost over. What do you want them to do? Not kill him?

        Reply
        <
        • Read More
          RussianistAndy Cush
          10/24/14 10:42am

          The system works!

          [I'll show myself out now...]

          Reply
          <
          • Read More
            IAMBlastedBiggsLostBurnerAndy Cush
            10/24/14 10:46am

            "You see this as some statement as to an over-reactive police response; we see it as providing a citizen with what they wanted all along!"—police spokesperson

            Reply
            <
            • Read More
              JimEmeryAndy Cush
              10/24/14 10:48am

              "...self-decapitation is an extremely difficult, not to say dangerous, thing to attempt; and, in the second, it's suicide, and suicide is a capital offence. "

              - W.S. Gilbert, The Mikado

              Reply
              <
              • Read More
                ThisGuyAndy Cush
                10/24/14 11:28am

                7 hours? Wait times will be drastically reduced in the future

                Reply
                <
                • Read More
                  toothpetardThisGuy
                  10/24/14 12:12pm

                  PLEASE PRESS:

                  1) FOR SUICIDE

                  2) FOR MARTYRDOM

                  Reply
                  <
              • Read More
                NOPEBIGNOPEAndy Cush
                10/24/14 10:43am

                If you aren't white/male/Christian/affluent/suburban/heterosexual/mentally "well"

                don't call the cops in a real emergency. This is the likely outcome.

                It's good people are waking up to the fact that cops can often be the problem, not the solution.

                Reply
                <