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    ISpeakJiveCallie Beusman
    10/01/14 4:18pm

    Yessss Mariah. Join us...

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      BZuckercornISpeakJive
      10/01/14 4:21pm
      GIF
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      paradigm85ISpeakJive
      10/01/14 4:24pm

      Yesss that was my first thought!

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    SneakysCallie Beusman
    10/01/14 4:27pm

    I have decided to now and forever more interpret "So-and-so got his/her body back" as So-and-so victoriously emerging from the spirit world after a life or death adventure and is now back in their body.

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      Jane *is* the... gazelle?Sneakys
      10/01/14 4:38pm

      Or they left it at the airport that one time and had to go through lost and found.

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      eats books and leavesSneakys
      10/01/14 4:52pm

      Yes, like they got killed in a PVP battle and had a friend cast a resurrection spell.

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    frickinehCallie Beusman
    10/01/14 4:37pm

    Oh my god, fuck offffffff, In Touch. This whole thing is just, "Look what a bitch ol' Bitchface Paltrow is." Like it's not actually possible for both of them to be perfectly fine human beings because obviously whoever is with the lead singer of the blandest band alive is the only acceptable version of womanhood.

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      yvanehtniojfrickineh
      10/01/14 4:41pm

      There can only be one.

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      bellsandwhistlesfrickineh
      10/01/14 4:48pm

      I have evidently thought about this way toooo much but I don't think Gwyneth Paltrow actually gives that much of a shit about Chris Martin dating Jennifer Lawrence. That conscious uncoupling stuff seemed like it was all her and he wrote that moody song about not getting over her so I reckon she was over it before he was. Obviously most people are a bit meh about their ex's new partners but she seems quite secure in her little goopy bubble, it's a shame she just can't come out with a statement saying "I'm fine" but then the press would be like BREAKING: GWYNETH PALTROW IS NOT FINE. She literally can't win.

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    yvanehtniojCallie Beusman
    10/01/14 4:34pm

    "[Her] assistants have to carry backpacks filled with wine so that if Mariah's can ever needs a refill, they can go to a nearby bathroom and fill it up for her." Also: "When she had people over, she'd have people on her staff follow her with a portable speaker, playing music — so she could make an entrance with a theme song."

    The more these tabloids try to make Mariah out to be a maniac, the more I learn to love about her.

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      swishandflickyvanehtnioj
      10/01/14 6:31pm

      With a personality that big, Nick Cannon knew what he was getting into. Go Mariah, you're too grand for this world!

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      HerRoyalRednessyvanehtnioj
      10/01/14 7:57pm

      All these stories have made me a fan. I'd love to have my own theme music!

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    EisenBolan, SJWCallie Beusman
    10/01/14 4:32pm

    So Mariah's crew go into bathrooms whose air contains stuff like poop particles thrown up from flushing toilets, dump out the gingerale and replace it with wine. Gotta vomit.

    Since when does taking prescription meds mean losing ones kids in a custody battle. There has to be more to this Teenmom story.

    Is it me or is Nick Cannon a jerk?

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      phubsEisenBolan, SJW
      10/01/14 4:40pm

      Oh, come on. Like you've never poured booze in a bathroom before. This is sneak a flask into an event 101.

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      EisenBolan, SJWphubs
      10/01/14 4:45pm

      Nope.

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    GlanceAskanceCallie Beusman
    10/01/14 4:37pm

    GOOP / JLaw is the new Angelina / Aniston. The worst part is, Chris Martin is Brad Pitt in this scenario.

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      adultosaur married anna on the astral planeCallie Beusman
      10/01/14 4:33pm

      . Katy Perry went on a date with Harry Styles and ruffled his illustrious hair, but not for sexual reasons but rather for revenge.

      this is not longer an attack on tay, but an attack on me. someone write about my blood feud with katy perry.

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        La.M.Callie Beusman
        10/01/14 4:35pm

        Let those among us who haven't hidden our booze in a non booze container (lidded coffee cups work well too folks) cast the first stone.

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          smithk654La.M.
          10/01/14 4:41pm

          I was once presented with a Brandy Old Fashioned in a reusable water bottle that was labeled "Cranberry 7-Up"... I have no regrets.

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          datladyfortunasmithk654
          10/01/14 5:23pm

          The ghetto version is vodka and gatorade. Not exactly the best tasting, but so easy to pretend is normal...

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        mollymlf05Callie Beusman
        10/01/14 4:34pm

        I'm starting to think that Mila Kunis is going to be pregnant forever.

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          Bingo,Carlosmollymlf05
          10/01/14 6:13pm

          I guarantee she feels the same way.

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        mbk12Callie Beusman
        10/01/14 4:31pm

        GRADE: C (sobbing while describing the plot of Hidalgo to a stranger)

        I always read these primarily for these gems

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