Kinja reply list

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ISpeakJiveDodai Stewart
9/26/14 9:19am
Attention bad tippers: Paris Hilton is now a better person than you are. BOOM.
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  JuventinaISpeakJive
  9/26/14 9:24am
  Or she's at least better at that. (I don't mean me, I live in a tip free country)
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  ryguygoesawryISpeakJive
  9/26/14 9:25am
  I feel like that's a bill you could stand to be a little stingy on, but nope - she tipped just slightly higher than 20%.
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DevonnaDodai Stewart
9/26/14 9:27am
I don't think it's unreasonable to be upset when your ex-husband is talking about introducing his girlfriend to your children. Especially when this is the first time this has happened. I imagine Chris would also be upset if GP was introducing their kids to her new boyfriend.
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  MisfitToyDevonna
  9/26/14 10:12am
  It does kind of seem like a rebound, doesn't it? JLaw is very young and pretty much the polar opposite of Paltrow.
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  MadPiglet loves West HamMisfitToy
  9/26/14 10:28am
  I feel like JLaw is what Gwyneth *could* have been. When she was younger and dating Brad Pitt and/or Ben Affleck, she seeemed a lot more down-to-earth than she does now. She was more of a chick, and not this ethereal being, if you see what I'm getting at.
  
  Then she won an Oscar and maybe her brain broke? I bet This Whole Gwyneth Thing is Madonna's fault. Things were okay for Goop until she became besties with Madge.
  
  So Chris Martin is maybe drooling all over JLaw (you just KNOW that guy's a drooler) because he is closer to what he thought he was getting with Goopzilla. Or something. I don't know - I just got back from the gym and ate a Ho-Ho so I'm all jacked up on sugar and endorphins and I'm about to drink an entire pot of coffee. Fridays are fun.
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mollymlf05Dodai Stewart
9/26/14 10:19am
Paris Hilton's bar tab tip is more than what I earn in a year. :-/
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  PumpkinPancakemollymlf05
  9/26/14 10:41am
  Her tip alone is just shy of the median household income in the US.
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  ilovecarolburnettmollymlf05
  9/26/14 11:57am
  It's more than what many people earn in a year. I wonder if the restaurant took part of the tip or if the servers got it all...
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SplatworthyDodai Stewart
9/26/14 9:23am
I read this and thought about how terrible this kind of conspicuous consumerism is, and how that much money could have been better spent helping people, and then I realized I do the exact same thing with my consumerism, albeit on a lesser scale. We all do. Every dollar not spent on basic necessities and saving starving and dehydrated children in Africa is a dollar spent in evil. We are all terrible people. And hypocrites. Also, hypocrites.
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  amylpieplateSplatworthy
  9/26/14 9:37am
  Shit - I think the dense nexus of self-pity and self-righteousness you've created is going to open rift in - shut the fuck up.
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  Splatworthyamylpieplate
  9/26/14 9:44am
  You seem well versed in the art of intelligent discourse. I eagerly await your elaboration, and feel I have much to learn from you.
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MarieAntoinetteDodai Stewart
9/26/14 9:19am

A source claims the bar tab was $230,000, with a $47,000 tip.

She tipped over 20%, so I'm choosing to look on the bright side of this.
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  ideasleepfuriouslyMarieAntoinette
  9/26/14 9:26am
  Only 0.4% over 20. But yes, generous.
  
  Of course the real question this begs is: can Paris Hilton do math...?
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  crawledoutoftheseaMarieAntoinette
  9/26/14 9:53am
  Honestly, I can't get mad about this. Her party was well-behaved and didn't cause trouble for the servers? She left an appropriately generous tip? That's all fine by me. Of course, being in a position to spend that much on booze is a bit beyond my comprehension, but it's not like she'd be less ridiculously wealthy sitting quietly at home.
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GELLA - LLAPDodai Stewart
9/26/14 9:33am
Waiting for Kanye rant in 1, 2, 3......

Is math ine of the subjects Paris was good in school or there is an app for that?
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  MisfitToyGELLA - LLAP
  9/26/14 10:15am
  I feel like even Paris can move a decimal point and multiply by two. Even so, there's definitely an app for that. ;)
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  GELLA - LLAPMisfitToy
  9/26/14 10:21am
  basic math, basic.
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titania126Dodai Stewart
9/26/14 9:24am
I realize I'm not any cooler for criticizing this, but MARQUEE? Is it literally just 2003 all the time in Paris-world?
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  kepsternyctitania126
  9/26/14 9:47am
  I call shenanigans...sounds like Marquee is trying to drum up some PR for themselves. Paris may be down to C-list level celeb but even she would know better than to go to Marquee in 2014!
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  jifaner13titania126
  9/26/14 10:00am
  Yes. You can tell just by looking at her and her Barbie hair.
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kinjaatemyburnerDodai Stewart
9/26/14 9:20am
Paris Hilton is a human Winamp. If you gave her vinyl, she wouldn't know what to do with it.
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  AliceInWunderlandkinjaatemyburner
  9/26/14 9:29am
  Ha! A human Winamp. I haven't thought about Winamp in about 10 years.
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  AllezWaspskinjaatemyburner
  9/26/14 9:30am
  Oh god. Agree. Calling her a DJ — or what she's doing a 'DJ tour' — is an insult to every DJ I know.
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peasandriceDodai Stewart
9/26/14 10:39am
Paris Hilton's tip is more than I make in a year before taxes.

GIF

Fuck using my talents or following my dreams or being a productive member of society. I'm just going to try to befriend Paris Hilton.
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  Ovdanyakadpeasandrice
  9/26/14 1:44pm
  Me too man. I was like this story is entertaining…… wait this story is horribly depressing WTF.
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MonchDodai Stewart
9/26/14 9:21am
$230,000 to Paris Hilton is $23 to a normal person. She left what equates to her as a 47 cent tip on a $23 tab. Great Job.
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  imaginaryfriendMonch
  9/26/14 9:24am
  No, that would be a $4.70 tip on a $23 tab. Math is your friend, don't push it away!
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  Grade A MoronMonch
  9/26/14 9:25am
  You mean a $4.70 tip aka 20%?
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