Discussion
  • Read More
    GutbloomEnid Shaw
    9/22/14 9:22pm

    They ultimately determined he'd probably perished from natural causes.

    Of course they did. You think I believe that the untimely death of a potentially immortal tortoise was "natural"? Tortoises don't die. Something has to kill them. Come on, man. I might have been born at night, but I wasn't born last night. Follow the money, you rubes. Who profits from Lonesome George's death? Answer: everybody. The only question is whether they killed him with chemtrails, poisoned forage, or sonic waves from a nuclear submarine.

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      The Other TheronGutbloom
      9/22/14 9:49pm

      It was Obama. He was seen stuffing copies of the Common Core down George's throat.

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      AttackRaxAttackGutbloom
      9/23/14 12:53am

      It was actually a vaccine that offed him.

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    psybabEnid Shaw
    9/23/14 12:10am

    Can I just say - I saw Lonesome George in his last days, back in 2004. It's something of an honor to see a creature that could have looked disdainfully at your great grandparents whilst chewing lettuce. They talked a lot about his inability to mate at the Darwin Center. Imagine being 100 and mocked every day to tourist groups about your inability to get it up when it counts.

    Lonesome George. I salute you.

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      SailingAwaypsybab
      9/23/14 8:07am

      Wow, I envy you. It is a dream of mine to go there. Quick thought, does it not go against the heart of darwinism to try to keep this creature alive or clone it? It was the weaker of the subsets...I guess. Though, against my point if we are the reason for a species being wiped out I do see an obligation to save them...ie: over-fishing, pollution...etc.

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      kareemaSailingAway
      9/23/14 8:21am

      No, it doesn't, as the species now extinct or threatened in the Galapagos are due to human influence - once Europeans arrived.

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    GregoireEnid Shaw
    9/22/14 9:29pm

    Jonathan is actually a fine name for a 183-year old turtle. He's actually on the local currency.

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      Enid ShawGregoire
      9/22/14 9:33pm

      Good God, man, he's almost 200 years old. His name should be something significantly more majestic than "Jonathan." Your opinion is wrong.

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      GregoireEnid Shaw
      9/22/14 10:53pm

      I beg your pardon? — Jonathan Swift

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    Jerry-NetherlandEnid Shaw
    9/22/14 10:14pm

    Mrs. Venable: Oh, Sebastian, what a lovely summer it's been. Just the two of us. Sebastian and Violet. Violet and Sebastian. Just the way it's always going to be. Oh, we are lucky, my darling, to have one another and need no one else ever.

    Those damn turtles in the Galapagos!

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      GreyEminenceJerry-Netherland
      9/22/14 10:24pm

      I shudder to think how many years you've waited for an article warranting such a reference.

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      Jerry-NetherlandGreyEminence
      9/22/14 10:26pm

      You'd be amazed how many all-purpose references I can pull out of my old Hollywood-saturated brain!

      ETA: You clearly got it, so your brain must have much of the same clutter, Miss Catherine!

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    burningsensationEnid Shaw
    9/22/14 9:24pm

    I totally want to go to the Galapagos Islands to see a perfectly preserved dead tortoise. Does Epcot have a Galapagos exhibit? (I don't want to miss my shows.)

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      Gutbloomburningsensation
      9/22/14 9:56pm

      Epcot is currently planing a "Hall of Human Extinction" where you can walk amongst cgi versions of carrier pigeons, dodos, and Tasmanian Tigers and... kill them! because the worst thing about extirpating a species is that "nobody will ever get the chance to kill one of them anymore."

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      burningsensationGutbloom
      9/22/14 10:02pm

      It's like they read my diary!

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    spockjonesEnid Shaw
    9/22/14 9:15pm

    My hormones have been fucking with me all day then I read this. He was the last of his kind. Lonesome George. BAAAAWWWAAALLL!!

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      Justin Cabralspockjones
      9/22/14 10:04pm

      Yo Spockjones, practice your kolinar

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      spockjonesJustin Cabral
      9/22/14 10:07pm

      Too close to pon farr.

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    stacyinbeanEnid Shaw
    9/22/14 9:16pm

    I don't see why a joint custody agreement can't be made here. Every other weekend and Wednesday's worked out just fine for me.

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      spockjonesstacyinbean
      9/23/14 2:06am

      Well, then he'd wouldn't do what you say because YOU'RE NOT HIS REAL MOM!!

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    Graymyas LeighEnid Shaw
    9/22/14 9:13pm

    This is terrapin news. I'm just shell shocked to hear it.

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      cuntybawsGraymyas Leigh
      9/22/14 9:18pm

      I just hope the military doesn't resort to any shelling

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    vanessalutzEnid Shaw
    9/22/14 9:22pm

    Team Quito. The Galapagos Islands are environmentally protected in part because they are so expensive to visit. And while I don't agree that access should be determined by wealth, I'm happy about anything that prevents them from being destroyed by tourism. Visit Quito instead, pay respect to George, encourage other tourism in Ecuador.

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      psybabvanessalutz
      9/23/14 12:19am

      The tourism at the Galapagos is VERY minimally invasive. Trust.

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      vanessalutzpsybab
      9/23/14 1:29am

      And this hostel isn't in ANY guidebook.

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    BusslayerEnid Shaw
    9/22/14 9:20pm

    These creatures were relatively numerous on theses islands until westerners found out about them. Word got out among sailors in the 19th century that they were there and were easy meals. They would stop and grab dozens of them to stock the ship's pantries. And of course that ended badly for the tortoise.

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      psybabBusslayer
      9/23/14 12:17am

      Having been there, it seems that, since Darwin's time there, the largest problem for the tortoises is not historical humans eating them, but rather the wild boars that they left there. They now hire sharpshooters to go every year and shoot wild pigs. Very few humans have been eating galapagos tortoises in decades.

      Reply
      <