Kinja reply list

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toothpetardAndy Cush
6/25/14 9:52am
Well-Regulated Militia Prefers Automatic Transmission
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  SteveDavetoothpetard
  6/25/14 10:43am
  If stick shifts are outlawed, only outlaws will steal stick shifts... or something.
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  Group B-raaaaaaaaaap!toothpetard
  6/25/14 11:09am
  Something something "DSG's are SEMI-automatics and the media are communists for not making the distinction."
  
  #Benzghazi
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DamasconianAndy Cush
6/25/14 9:52am
Yet another reason to buy a manual. Yes, I know the technology in modern day automatics is better than ever, but if you really love the connection of human to car, a well engineered Manual transmission is the way to go.
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  secretagentmanDamasconian
  6/25/14 9:56am
  If you really love the connection of human to car, you need to get out more often.
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  Elehastsecretagentman
  6/25/14 10:02am
  I have a photograph of a portly gentleman in a corset kneeling in a field and enjoying said connection, with a car, while looking proudly into the camera, but I'd better not post it.
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FirstTimeListnerAndy Cush
6/25/14 9:48am
So much for the people that say that woman can't defend themselves - a black belt in karate
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  Gabrielle CyniqueFirstTimeListner
  6/25/14 9:50am
  Who says that?
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  FirstTimeListnerGabrielle Cynique
  6/25/14 9:52am
  The same people that open doors for them like they cant open them themselves - women aren't as weak as you think
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sunstrokedAndy Cush
6/25/14 9:59am
I've got an old dodge with a push button transmission. Mechanics can't even figure out how to get it in drive.

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  Burger-Lordsunstroked
  6/25/14 11:28am
  If you push the buttons in a specific sequence a pack of cigarettes falls from underneath the dash.
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JimEmeryAndy Cush
6/25/14 10:14am
News stories about carjackers who were thwarted by not being able to drive a stick shift have been around for a while.

Many years ago, I used to read a publication (1980's National Lampoon? I can't remember) that ran a regular "weird news stories" feature based on reader submissions. One month, after the regular boilerplate at the end of the column soliciting reader submission, they inserted a new disclaimer to the effect of "We will no longer accept stories about carjackers who can't drive stick shift."
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  62imperialcrownJimEmery
  6/25/14 4:44pm
  
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  JimEmery62imperialcrown
  6/25/14 5:00pm
  Yep, Nat. Lampoon's "True Facts" was the one. There's also a similar "News of the Weird" feature that runs in some alternative newspapers that has similar stories in it.
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cnuteAndy Cush
6/25/14 9:51am
Further proof that this country is going down the tubes. I blame the parents. I mean, how do you not know how to drive a manual transmission?
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  SirUnocnute
  6/25/14 10:06am
  Tubes? What tubes? You see any tubes around here? Those gotta be some big fucking tubes!
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  toothpetardSirUno
  6/25/14 10:20am
  "There's always more than one tube."
  -Carlin
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ManchuCandidateAndy Cush
6/25/14 9:52am
Those car jackers failed in the clutch.
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  McGarnagleManchuCandidate
  6/25/14 9:56am
  Shoulda read the manual. Now a judge is going to stick it to them.
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GregorMendelAndy Cush
6/25/14 10:15am
I had a valet (!!) unable to park my car. I laffed and laffed and laffed.
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  barelylethal: shitassGregorMendel
  6/25/14 10:48am
  When I was purchasing my last car, our salesman needed us to pull the cars in and out of the parking spots because he couldn't drive a manual. He said his boss and promised him that when a hunk of junk manual came in as a trade-in, he'd promised to teach him. We laughed and said "well, we're happy to tell you you'll be learning very soon."
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quietgrrrlAndy Cush
6/25/14 10:30am
My mother insisted I learn to drive on a stick because she wanted me to be able to drive any car I needed to in an emergency. My father insisted I learn to drive on a stick because "driving an automatic isn't driving, it's just maneuvering a car down the street."

I'm pretty sure neither of them had "more effective car theft" in mind.

And while I'm glad I did it, learning to drive on a stick shift sucks. It's like having to learn the hardest part of a task before you can learn any other part of the task.
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not sure if seriousAndy Cush
6/25/14 9:54am
I tried to teach my 16 year old niece how to drive a stick. If she was OK on the clutch and shifting she forgot about other important driving skills. Like steering. If she was good at driving skills she forgot to shift. She bought an automatic.
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  elephantearsnot sure if serious
  6/25/14 11:33am
  I imagine it's difficult if you've learnt to drive automatic, but haven't had much driving experience, and then try to drive manual. I learnt to drive in a manual car (I'm a Brit), so it's just natural to do clutch, gearstick, steering all at the same time; when I'm trying to drive an automatic I keep trying to do clutch and gears that aren't there...
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  tizzy in a tizzynot sure if serious
  6/26/14 12:10am
  When we had just started dating, my (now) husband had a new manual transmission installed - a gift from his dad because my guy was broke and his automatic transmission was shot. Well I took my husband out to try and teach him and OMG it was fucking terrifying! He just could NOT coordinate the whole thing.
  
  Finally I said to his dad - who really wasn't too sympathetic to the situation - that he needed to encourage my husband to just sell the car (my husband was really embarrassed by the whole thing and didn't want to disappoint his dad). But dad was of the opinion that "for fuck sakes, the kid can learn a stick!" I said "No he can't. He's gonna die."
  
  Dad took my husband out for his next driving lesson.
  
  24 hours later the car was sold.
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Well-Regulated Militia Prefers Automatic Transmission