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    flowerchld071Anna del Gaizo
    6/16/14 3:08pm

    My god. Thank you for sharing your story. And thank you for being honest about the pressure to have a so-called thick skin when it comes to degrading, sexist, and sometimes violent behavior. We've been taught for so long to just take it. All of it.

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      Mo-flowerchld071
      6/16/14 3:17pm

      I feel like more of us need to realize that we ABSOLUTELY can get outraged at men (or women) who think it's okay to violate your body in any way. This is why we need to stop telling women/men to "smile" on command. This is why we need to stop telling little girls and boys that they MUST hug an adult stranger, family member or friend on command simply because it's "rude" to refuse those advances.

      If we start doing this as a routine, I hope that many of us would recognize our own agency and stop holding down our experiences similar to this in fear that we'll be labeled weak.

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      Rooo sez BISH PLZMo-
      6/16/14 3:50pm

      "I hope that many of us would recognize our own agency and stop holding down our experiences similar to this in fear that we'll be labeled weak."

      Or labeled as "bitchy", or a "whiner" (saw that one downthread) or treated as "uncooperative", or "high-strung", or "overreacting" or some other pejorative - or otherwise ostracized (yes, I said it, and yes, it still happens) - if we do refuse.

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    MaryAnna del Gaizo
    6/16/14 3:42pm

    "I would give blow jobs because I liked giving blow jobs, not because I cared about making guys like me (lie). Because that, from the age of 12 to 27, was my muddled interpretation of feminism. Unfortunately, it didn't make me impervious to sad, misguided, insecure men."

    Boy, did these lines hit home for me. I've never seen myself as someone who's been sexually assaulted, but, in retrospect, I have, repeatedly—the teen boy who locked us in a band practice room and exposed himself to me, the college friend who I innocently slept next to only to wake up with him on top of me, the boss who suggested "we try out some beds together," etc.. And I think I laughed all of these off because I wanted to be a cool girl, not a whiner. Like this author—who I thank for her honesty—I didn't feel like any of these were "big deals" emotionally for me. And maybe they weren't, but they weren't right either. They were about disempowering me.

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      kawville2Mary
      6/16/14 3:49pm

      yesyesyesyesyes. Yes. "'i've never seen myself as someone who's been sexually assaulted, but, in retrospect, I have, repeatedly" Yes. Where does that feeling of "just laugh it off, he'll stop in a minute" come from when we're being held down on the floor? Why?

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      Red Velvet is BULLSHITkawville2
      6/16/14 4:19pm

      This whole thead is hittingway too hard home for me.

      Raise your hand If you felt the need to be polite in your attempt to stop things, then when you realized you couldnt, you tried to play along in order to feel like you had some or all the control. Oh and then distort your own perception of it after the fact so you can sleep at night.

      It sucks because, we're not actually helping future women. We're teaching guys that we secretly want it and that if they are relentless, they'll get what they want. That's what I regret most.

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    surlygyrlyAnna del Gaizo
    6/16/14 3:34pm

    I saw him walking down the street on Saturday and totally shuddered. I wondered if the woman he was with is the creepy assistant who figures heavily in all of these accounts.

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      Yoga Nerd, Maybe Deadsurlygyrly
      6/16/14 3:38pm

      I live in NYC, and I feel like I run into celebrities all the time, but I've never encountered Richardson.

      100% sure that if I did, I would scurry to the nearest trash can, fish out some garbage and start hurling it at him. No exaggeration.

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      CBGYoga Nerd, Maybe Dead
      6/16/14 3:46pm

      Just seeing pictures of him grosses me out.

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    DavidBlaineGabbertAnna del Gaizo
    6/16/14 3:18pm

    You know.....if it happens this many times......it might be you

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      Republican VampireDavidBlaineGabbert
      6/16/14 3:19pm

      Hahaha what a fucking stupid thing to say.

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      janiejones56DavidBlaineGabbert
      6/16/14 3:23pm

      Wow. Everyone reading this now is wishing you could spend about a week as a woman in a city.

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    SprocheteAnna del Gaizo
    6/16/14 3:37pm

    I am almost more creeped out by Leslie Lessen's behavior than by Richardson's . How does she sleep at night? How does she justify pandering to his sick behavior? Does she get off on it, or does she just think it's part of the job? There is no way in hell I'd help my boss creep on women.

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      gallivanterSprochete
      6/16/14 3:48pm

      My thoughts exactly. There is no way that she could seriously pretend to herself that the models are okay with what's happening to them and that she isn't complicit in it.

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      KsSprochete
      6/16/14 5:11pm

      That's very common when women(having their own experience of being abused) ally with the person in power. Sometimes those female assistants are pure evil themselves, but usually it is a consequence of what happened to them before. It does not excuse them, though. Nothing can be an excuse here.

      The similar mechanism was involved when in Nazi camps former inmates were given power to be from the other side of the cage wall and watch their former cell neighbors - many of them showed cruelty which even exceeded the one of original Nazi bosses. Being evil as a way to distance from their own victim feelings. Sooo bad.

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    Charlotte29 aka Rob KAnna del Gaizo
    6/16/14 3:24pm

    This entire account is so sad. You've articulated well how so many of us internalize the voices in culture that tell us these things are "no big deal." Terry Richardson is a predator plain and simple, and he benefits from an institution that enables his behavior.

    On another note, can someone better versed in the ways of Kinja tell me where the dimiss button is and how to use it? Looks like there are some assholes around here already.

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      CindyLouCthulhuCharlotte29 aka Rob K
      6/16/14 3:38pm

      A little down arrow appears if you hover over the top, right corner of any reply to your comments. If you click the arrow, "dismiss" will appear on a menu.

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      Charlotte29 aka Rob KCindyLouCthulhu
      6/16/14 3:49pm

      Thank you :-)

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    awkwardturtleAnna del Gaizo
    6/16/14 3:23pm

    You're very brave to speak out and BRAVO. I hope you receive tons of support for this - please know you're definitely receiving it from me, and I'm sure several commenters here.

    I completely understand that "thick skin" "not a big deal" attitude we're conditioned to develop. I was sexually assaulted by a family friend when I was drunk and living in NYC and to this day, I still sort of shrug when I think about it. I have logic-ed away anything that could have brought me pain - much like you did. I was drunk, I went to his apartment willingly (not for anything romantic - he was just a friend), I drank with him, I was sitting on his bed watching a movie, he was older and had money etc etc. No cop would take me seriously and I didn't want to destroy my mom's friendship with his mother if this came out. She's a lovely woman and her son has always been very kind to me - like a brother...except that night. However, I don't care. I don't feel anything. I've seen him several times since then and my brain has screamed "RAPIST" but I've said nothing. But I say it here. I say it here because like you said, it's for the other women who think it's "not a big deal". It is. It should be.

    So, thank you for doing this.

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      Republican VampireAnna del Gaizo
      6/16/14 3:18pm

      I have to wonder... everyone knows Terry Richardson is a predator, and everyone says he comes off as a creep even when you're not one of his victims, so why does he still have so much clout?

      I have to wonder if there's some kind of ironic cachet in employing or shmoozing with him, like it's somehow edgy to hang out with the dude everyone knows is a rapist. Especially since, well... Richardson's not wrong. Fashion is fetishistic in fucked up ways.

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        HostradamusRepublican Vampire
        6/16/14 3:28pm

        The entertainment industry is full of predators, sexual sadists, plain old sadists, and power trippers. Decision makers in his industry likely relate to the power trips he goes on in his catalog because they're mostly cut from the same cloth.

        Frankly, most of the people Richardson rubs elbows with probably knows a few more photographers whose shoots aren't different and maybe a director or two that still has an old fashioned casting couch in their office.

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        TheDeltaCollectionRepublican Vampire
        6/16/14 3:30pm

        I've never seen any of his photos, and I'm at work so I don't dare google them.

        All judgement about his disgusting/illegal/rapey behavior aside- is he THAT good? Not that that ever is an excuse (it's not). I'm just curious; is he so good that people look the other way?

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      John BoehnerAnna del Gaizo
      6/16/14 4:15pm

      I'm amazed you had the guts to share this, but I'm glad you did. I just don't how someone can be SUCH an ass (and then somehow have such an enabler???)

      (Also I'm still calling bullshit on the Lauren Cook story being legitimate, but that even Jenna believed it enough to blog about it is kind of telling about how much of a dirtbag he is.)

      To me, Uncle Terry has NOTHING working in his favor except for his enablers and his daddy. Ugly as sin [and the dude absolutely REVELS in looking like a predator], absolutely no talent, but somehow he's built up a circle of people that keep patting him on the head and saying YOU POOR SWEET BOY.

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        see you in rach-hell only comments on tswift nowJohn Boehner
        6/16/14 4:32pm

        It creeps me out so much how often he gets these women on camera to wear his stupid flannel and glasses. UGH he's so gross.

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        JimmyCalhounJohn Boehner
        6/16/14 4:53pm

        I know what you mean. A composite photo of sex offenders probably wouldn't look much different from ol' Terry.

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      Minniemouse7Anna del Gaizo
      6/16/14 3:05pm

      Richardson is a predator and you should be commended for speaking out.

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