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    Rich JuzwiakSam Biddle
    6/11/14 1:41pm

    I once saw a man have sex with a watermelon and I was like, "Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet."

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      Quantum SuicideRich Juzwiak
      6/11/14 1:43pm

      Seedless? Or did he seed it himself?

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      Rich JuzwiakQuantum Suicide
      6/11/14 1:44pm

      He definitely stopped short of making it soup, if you will.

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    Timothy BurkeSam Biddle
    6/11/14 1:43pm

    TEAM CANTALOUPE WAS HERE

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      sasquatchpatchTimothy Burke
      6/11/14 1:45pm

      Those belong in the garbage along with honeydew.

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      Jason Parhamsasquatchpatch
      6/11/14 1:50pm

      TEAM MANGO #tooreal

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    Sam BiddleSam Biddle
    6/11/14 1:44pm

    I call my melly a red cutie

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      Erin Gloria RyanSam Biddle
      6/11/14 1:47pm

      tmi

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      Leslie HornSam Biddle
      6/11/14 1:48pm

      Melly, cutie, waterboy, doesn't matter the name! They're all sweet!

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    J.K. TrotterSam Biddle
    6/11/14 1:43pm

    Wat?

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      Samer KalafJ.K. Trotter
      6/11/14 1:49pm

      ...ermelon

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      J.K. TrotterSamer Kalaf
      6/11/14 1:53pm

      Please go back to Tronball.

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    Tom ScoccaSam Biddle
    6/11/14 1:51pm

    Two pairs of brogans went along the rows.

    You aint goin to believe this.

    Knowin you for a born liar I most probably wont.

    Somebody has been fuckin my watermelons.

    What?

    I said somebody has been . . .

    No. No. Hell no. Damn you if you aint got a warped mind.

    I'm tellin you . . .

    I dont want to hear it.

    Looky here.

    And here.

    They went along the outer row of the melonpatch. He stopped to nudge a melon with his toe. Yellowjackets snarled in the seepage. Some were ruined a good time past and lay soft with rot, wrinkled with imminent collapse.

    It does look like it, dont it?

    I'm tellin ye I seen him. I didnt know what the hell was goin on when he dropped his drawers. Then when I seen what he was up to I still didnt believe it. But yonder they lay.

    What do you aim to do?

    Hell, I dont know. It's about too late to do anything. He's damn near screwed the whole patch. I dont see why he couldnt of stuck to just one. Or a few.

    Well, I guess he takes himself for a lover. Sort of like a sailor in a whorehouse.

    I reckon what it was he didnt take to the idea of gettin bit on the head of his pecker by one of them waspers. I suppose he showed good judgment there.

    What was he, just a young feller?

    I dont know about how young he was but he was as active a feller as I've seen in a good while.

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      unconsciousTom Scocca
      6/11/14 1:58pm

      Holy fuck, that's beautiful writing right there. I'd forgotten how great McCarthy is.

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    Aleksander ChanSam Biddle
    6/11/14 1:55pm

    What are these haircuts

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      Freddie DeBoerAleksander Chan
      6/11/14 1:57pm

      I get a distinct "Russian SuperCuts" vibe

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      burlivesleftnutAleksander Chan
      6/11/14 1:58pm
      GIF
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    Max ReadSam Biddle
    6/11/14 1:42pm

    Sam you should tell everyone about the "alternate ending."

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      GeorgeGeoffersonLivesMax Read
      4/08/16 9:46pm

      Is this ending the one where the self-empowered modern woman goes and gets it aborted and then she has a fruit salad instead?

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    Steve ClimacoSam Biddle
    6/11/14 2:00pm

    (Nods) They're not wearing shirts because they don't want to get their clothes dirty. Smart.

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      MothraTwinsSam Biddle
      6/11/14 1:45pm

      Recipe Comment by MothraTwins: Watermelon chunks, cucumber slices, little shreds of basil, squeeze a lime on it. BOOM! Summer. You're welcome.

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        김치전!MothraTwins
        6/11/14 1:48pm

        IMPROVED RECIPE:

        Cut hole in watermelon
        Insert neck of open vodka bottle in hole
        Eat watermelon until you are hospitalized

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        toront0steveMothraTwins
        6/11/14 1:49pm

        Recipe Comment by Rachael Ray:
        1. Slice watermelon
        2. Enjoy!

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      benjaminalloverSam Biddle
      6/11/14 1:47pm

      !):):)):) !)):):) !):)) !)

      that's supposed to be a plate of watermelon slices.

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        HumboldtGenesisbenjaminallover
        6/11/14 3:43pm

        Looks more like a platter.

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        benjaminalloverHumboldtGenesis
        6/11/14 4:39pm

        True. It didn't like, kern how I wrote it, e.e.cummings style, and thus, a platter of punctuation.

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