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    twinsmommyRich Juzwiak
    6/09/14 6:05pm

    Not that it has anything to do with this, but she is SO stunning. Also, one of my favorite parts of OITNB.

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      PrayForDentontwinsmommy
      6/09/14 6:11pm

      There was less of her this season, which was disappointing.

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      twinsmommyPrayForDenton
      6/09/14 6:12pm

      Oh that sucks! I'm only on episode 3.

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    sizor_sisterRich Juzwiak
    6/09/14 6:09pm

    It's weird that Cox talks in the beginning about every trans* person have a different experience because it seems a lot of times that people who have taken it on themselves to be trans* spokespersons turnaround and try to define the trans* experience and the language used around it. I think it was evident with that whole Janet Mock thing when it was said she was "born a boy," when that's language I've encountered a lot of tran* people using themselves. I remember seeing on a blog one time "transwomen are women," but when I referred to a trans* colleague as a woman, she replied "No honey, I'm not a woman yet." (meaning she hadn't had gender reassignment surgery)

    It seems like whenever someone makes a misstep in terms of language, other people are quick to jump in and call that person ignorant or not-in-the-know. But honestly, it seems that the right language is constantly changing and depends on the individual. I had to "learn" I couldn't say "transgendered" less I be considered transphobic apparently. Not to mention that whole (ongoing it seems) RuPaul thing.

    I also doesn't seem Williams' questions were that bad. Williams has asked a lot of women about their plastic surgery. I remember her asking Big Ang similar questions.

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      WellieVirtuesizor_sister
      6/09/14 6:12pm

      'Is your brother trans too?' Oh good Lord.

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      PrayForDentonsizor_sister
      6/09/14 6:16pm

      The evolving vocabulary and vocal language policing regarding the transgender community has caught me by surprise. Words I learned from the trans people in my life are now suddenly verboten.

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    spassaRich Juzwiak
    6/09/14 6:11pm

    The point of dumb talk shows like this is to interpret the world for ignorant viewers, who have very limited experience of the outside world. The role of the interviewer is to act as the proxy of ignorant stay-at-homes, asking the same questions the viewers would wonder about in a language the viewers can understand. If Laverne Cox can correct her interviewer and add understanding and exposure, then I think it's working just as it should be.

    My best friend is transgender but is not open about it like she lies to her boyfriends about it etc. People are constantly asking me "did she used to be a dude" "did she used to have a dick" and things like that and I either straight up lie and say "no" or I say "I don't know, who cares". If more people saw transgender people correcting interviewers' questions, they might realize the questions are inappropriate. Hopefully they get the answers they are looking for but, either way, seeing the interviewer get shut down for answering inappropriate questions is actually part of teaching people what is and is not appropriate

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      HerbertHumptyDanceRich Juzwiak
      6/09/14 5:59pm

      I know that Wendy Williams has reportedly given birth to children in the past. But that will never be enough to convince me that she isn't transgender, herself...just sayin.

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        김치전!HerbertHumptyDance
        6/09/14 6:07pm

        Aw, this was such a nice article, why did you have to imply that being trans is a bad thing.

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        WellieVirtue김치전!
        6/09/14 6:12pm

        What?

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      s3rp3ntsRich Juzwiak
      6/09/14 6:10pm

      Goddamn, she's beautiful. I bet she smells good...

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        MegSwans3rp3nts
        6/09/14 6:24pm

        It's such a weird comment but I have to agree. She definitely looks like she smells good.

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        bourgeoismiddlemans3rp3nts
        6/09/14 6:35pm

        Haha, that's the thing I say when I'm trying to be comically creepy. A whispered, "She smells good." works every time. I'm sure she does, though.

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      tsathoggua1Rich Juzwiak
      6/09/14 6:10pm

      Did she get her genital reconfigured? I've read the can actually turn the penis inside out and push it in or something like that.

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        MegSwantsathoggua1
        6/09/14 6:28pm

        Did you? What do your genitals look like? And why do you care? Do you want to date her?

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        leviajonesMegSwan
        6/09/14 7:30pm

        Yes, but I don't care what her genitals look like. Do you know her? Can you introduce us?

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      FromWhenceItCameRich Juzwiak
      6/09/14 6:20pm

      I firmly believe that people ought to be able to live the life that they want to and/or were born to live. I also do not know any transgender people. I am, however, genuinely curious and would like to know more about the lives that they lead and the challenges they face.

      I get that Wendy Williams' first question might have been poorly phrased (and that she should probably have known better, being an interviewer), but it seems to me that we ought to challenge people to ask more questions about topics with which they may be unfamiliar or uneducated, not less. If folks are mocked for asking a question the wrong way, doesn't it deter them from asking questions at all (which can't be good)? I may have the best intentions in the world for asking a question but, not being very informed, I may ask that question poorly. Should I be criticized for trying my best to educate myself?

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        dontcallmemimiFromWhenceItCame
        6/09/14 6:25pm

        If you know a topic is sensitive or difficult, as an interviewer, you can research it before so that you approach the topic with sensitivity. Also, it's probably not tactful to ask about anyone's surgery/genitals, although I'm not sure "tact" is Williams' thing. Lastly, you can always ask the interview subject!

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        brittaniesheyFromWhenceItCame
        6/09/14 6:31pm

        Trans* people shouldn't be held responsible for helping you educate yourself. I TOTALLY get where you're coming from but you can't look at human beings whose lives are different from yours as a specimen to be studied, you know?

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      Jerry-NetherlandRich Juzwiak
      6/09/14 9:58pm

      Wendy was pre-empted this morning in LA because of a car chase. I will record the BET replay tonight, because I find Wendy's game to be pretty clever. Her whole inner circle is LGBT, so she's no ignoramus about the community, but she knows her TV audience is global, so she's asking their questions, but leading them to a more enlightened understanding of such matters, all while playing her "I'm just a regular, plain-talkin', "How you doon?" girl from New Jersey". I'm looking forward to see how close she comes to this (my expectation) balance.

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        margaritajardinJerry-Netherland
        6/09/14 10:27pm

        I do feel like Wendy is pretty open about her own "enhancements" - maybe she just assumed LaVerne would be as well ?

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      GenusEnvyRich Juzwiak
      6/09/14 6:16pm

      The questions you listed are not dumb questions, they're obvious ones for the uninitiated. And SURPRISE, most of America is. I've known Laverne and her brother for years. She knew what she was getting herself into when she positioned herself as an activist. Questions are a part of dialogue and dialogue informs and brings about understanding. This whole self righteous attitude by people like yourself gets a bit tedious, and it comes off more like you're patting yourself on the back than genuine advocacy. Get over yourself. Please.

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        brunomarzipanGenusEnvy
        6/09/14 7:35pm

        "Questions are a part of dialogue and dialogue informs and brings about understanding."

        I totally agree with GenusEnvy. We still have a lot to learn about the transgendered community, and you'll find there is often much debate about appropriate terms etc, within the LGTBQ community themselves.

        I have a PhD - I'm highly educated, lean to the more liberal side of moderate politics, and I also have much to learn about this community. Yes, the questions may be obvious - but so what? That doesn't mean they're ignorant or offensive.

        My friend who is 7 ft tall is asked if he plays basketball to ad nauseum. I have extremely curly hair, so I'm constantly asked if my hair is real. My friend who has a prosthetic limb is asked questions about his mobility and how the injury occurred multiple times a day. While I understand my examples are rough compared to an underprivileged transgendered individual, my point is that anyone unique in a particular way will often be bombarded with questions because people want to interact, communicate and learn. In fact, it's often how we "commune" with those who are different than ourselves and that's a good thing. It can be annoying and cumbersome for the person getting the questions, but my impression of Laverne is that she is gracious and enjoys being in a position to make a difference.


        The tone of this article was just way too much. "Get over yourself" definitely applies here. If Wendy had asked what a fake vagina looked like, you might have a point.

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      starlitalphaRich Juzwiak
      6/09/14 7:36pm

      I'd like to know what is so bad about some of these questions. Personally, I lived in an area where trans people were a joke, or even villified. Maybe it's hard for people who live in their own bubble to understand, but not everyone knows everything about these issues.

      I personally would ask, "What does it mean to be transgender?"

      Why? Because it's clearly more important than "I like to dress up as a woman/man even though I was genetically more a woman/man."

      Education is how you fight hate. Ignorance is not a good or bad thing. It's just a statement that you don't know about the subject. People who don't know the actual definition of ignorant attach a negative connotation because hyperbole. It's far more dangerous to act like you know, than to ask questions.

      Personally, I would like to know, if someone would be kind enough to tell me, If I need to refer to a possible transgender person's gender and I don't know which gender they are presenting themselves as, how should I refer to them? I certainly don't want to say "it" because that would be completely hurtful and an asshole thing to do. My only choice in that situation is to guess and possibly cause a kerfuffle, or ignore them.

      Please, educate people! Don't just scoff at them and bludgeon them with their lack of knowledge!

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        DJ ROOMBAstarlitalpha
        6/09/14 8:16pm

        It's just soooo annoying/exhausting to go through these questions. To question someone on national TV about what their genitals look like and if they've have breast surgery, just comes off to me as a really out-of-place and rude regardless if someones trans or not. You would sit down with the interview subject and say "Hey, can we talk about this on air?" beforehand. Williams is a host with plenty of experience, and plenty of handlers - someone should have caught "the first transgender on TIME" before she said it, because a quick google search will tell you that the wording is dehumanizing, and a better way to say it would be "the first trans person on TIME".

        As for your question, you should use "they/them" until you hear them referring to themselves with pronouns or other gendered words. And some trans people use they/them pronouns regularly, too! I know there are some people who say "ALWAYS ask EVERYONE for their pronouns", but IRL people just ask people who they see as "visibly trans" and it's kind of embarrassing because you know that they can tell you aren't """normal""". The kind of question is something you can google pretty easily: "what pronouns to use when you don't know someones gender" gives you 876,000 results. There's also Yahoo answers, and a Verified Shitton of tumblr blogs dedicated to cis people asking trans people questions about gender.

        I think with the advent of the internet there is a heavier responsibility for people to educate themselves before asking something that could be potentially inappropriate. And most questions aren't as kindly put as yours - look at some of these Gawker comments, for example, "unchangeable biological gender and the transsexuals are liars who want to get into the woman's bathroom" sort of shit. We try so hard to educate, but after the 50th "Sooo... you a guy or a girl?" it gets really, really tiresome. I hope you understand.

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        keshmeshiDJ ROOMBA
        6/09/14 8:58pm

        Given how much anti-trans content there is on the internet, I think it's a *huge* mistake to direct curious/questioning people to The Internet as a place to learn about trans issues. If they're asking you, you should answer so they don't wind up at The National Review. Or, for that matter, to a die cis scum Tumblr page.

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