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    thewholetownscuteTom Scocca
    5/29/14 2:04pm

    This post is so paranoid, overly earnest and absurd I can't figure out if it's been lifted from the Onion. It is, right? No, no one could seriously write "Until someone puts in the effort to get Lamby under control, Lamby needs to be kept away from people." and keep a straight face, could they? This reads like a letter pushed under the doors of the apartments in a co-op on East 79th st.

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      Tom Scoccathewholetownscute
      5/29/14 2:07pm

      What's paranoid about keeping a dog that has bitten people (at least) three times away from people? It's common sense.

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      Malforusthewholetownscute
      5/29/14 2:07pm

      Lena is self reporting she has a problem animal.

      Problem animals are called that because they are a problem, she needs to get the dog handled.

      Most animals bite twice and get put down, this is supposedly a third time, so the idea that the dog should be taken away is more dog-itarian (what is humanitarian for dogs?) than just giving it the needle.

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    YourExFutureWifeTom Scocca
    5/29/14 2:00pm

    She needs to get a professional trainer involved. I'm guessing this is a small dog (hence her not being that concerned about training), but it clearly is comfortable breaking skin.

    This is irresponsible dog ownership at best, a tragedy/liability in waiting at worst. When you have a dog (and we have two), you're priorities are to protect your dog from other people, and other people from your dog.

    No excuses.

    I hope animal control is all over this.

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      Tom ScoccaYourExFutureWife
      5/29/14 2:02pm

      Yeah, this is really profoundly not-cute.

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      BabylegsYourExFutureWife
      5/29/14 2:08pm

      People who have that attitude towards small dogs are the hardest to convince because they'll never notice the issue get "THAT bad." Big breeds get, ya know, big, and people realize they have to check big attitudes. But small dogs can be just as bad.

      My grandma has a toy poodle (that she has no business owning, to be honest), who is nowhere near housebroken. Sure, you don't notice the dime-sized pee spots or picking up the equivalent of a tootsie roll here and there, but unless you're teaching it a routine, you're allowing your dog to mark everything in your home and you're also RUINING your furniture, floors, and filling your house with an almost permanent smell of ammonia.

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    Tom ScoccaTom Scocca
    5/29/14 11:31pm

    Lena Dunham, on Twitter, says that she is "vigilant" about Lamby's aggression and that the dog has an "amazing trainer" (also that she did proudly feed the dog a human restaurant portion of salmon).

    Her account of exactly why the dog decided to bite her this time, though, is weirdly inconsistent:

    Tears, doorbells, tears and doorbells? You know: The usual stuff that makes a dog bite.

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      aesereawtrtrTom Scocca
      5/30/14 12:53am

      Holy shit, Tom! Keep us posted on any new developments.

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      Tom Scoccaaesereawtrtr
      5/30/14 7:31am

      I will! Thanks for paying close attention and commenting on the news as it happens.

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    Agree2DisagreeTom Scocca
    5/29/14 3:12pm

    "The thing about rescue dogs...is that they need rescuing."

    This. So. Much.

    My wife and I adopted a pit bull late last year. She has scars and other physical deformations that strongly suggest she was used for breeding fight dogs. (Possibly used as bait too.)

    We knew we wanted to rescue a pit. We thoroughly researched the risks and rewards of having one. Over the past six months, we have worked intensely to socialize her with other dogs. (She's great with humans but unpredictable with dogs.) Even though she's improved, we have come to accept that she may always be dangerous to small dogs. We haven't been able to teach her that small dogs are not prey. As a result, I've told my small dog owning friends that she probably won't get to meet the little ones. It's safer that way.

    My two points with that are that rescue dogs can be hard work, and an owner can't just laugh off their dog's misbehavior around humans or animals. Training my dog is so rewarding, even if I'm disappointed I can't have my friends' dogs meet her.

    Also: I get irritated when other owners laugh off my warnings and let their dogs run all around mine. I'm not worried that your dog will hurt mine; I'm worried mine will hurt yours!

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      SensoryHomunculusAgree2Disagree
      5/29/14 5:42pm

      "she may always be dangerous to small dogs"

      Get a clue, please. Given what you say about the dog's background, it's very possible she will be dangerous to any other non-human living things, including BIG dogs (and I would include humans in there). I had a 15-year-old yellow lab that was attacked unprovoked by a pit bull rescue that was smaller than he was. The shithead owners decided to bring the dog to a local dog park because they'd had her for a while and she seemed to be perfectly acclimated and well-behaved for the 2 years they'd had her. We had the misfortune of leaving the park the same time they were arriving and the POS pit snapped for no reason and lunged about 5 feet and grasped my happy-g0-lucky, wouldn't-hurt-a-fly dog by the throat, just missing major blood vessels and thrashed him around, nearly killing him. I almost broke a toe kicking the fucking thing in the belly to get it off my dog.

      Needless to say, I fucking hate pitbulls. Yes, all pitbulls. Do people and yourself a favor and keep that thing away from everything it could potentially kill, regardless of the size difference.

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      Agree2DisagreeSensoryHomunculus
      5/29/14 6:08pm

      You mean this thing? The thing who had all four of her canines fractured by worthless scum? The thing who had her ears sliced off with what looks to be the precision of scissors? I'm more surprised this thing loves humans so freely, considering all the damage they did to her.

      You seem like a nice person, someone eager to give an internet stranger a clue. Without you, the internet would not be what it is. I thank you for your mature and eloquently worded advice.

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    polpotspantsTom Scocca
    5/29/14 2:08pm

    This is why year after year small dogs lead bite statistics, because people think that they are small it's not a big deal. Bullshit, my inlaws have a fucking Chi-weinie (it pains me just typing that) that bites fucking everything, including small children. I was raised by a veterinarian so this drives me through the fucking wall, but these country bumpkin retards just laugh it off. I over heard them talking about buying a big dog the other day, so it is safe to say I will never be going over there again.

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      HypnoCatpolpotspants
      5/29/14 2:36pm

      This. SO this. I've encountered people on the street walking their tiny dog who literally stand there and do nothing as their dog goes nuts, barking and straining the leash. No correction, nothing. People just don't take their little dogs seriously. Little or not, they are still dogs, and they are capable of doing damage. Plus, it's just bad manners to let your dog bark aggressively at someone just walking down the street.

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      ad infinitumpolpotspants
      5/29/14 5:34pm

      God, I found a chi-weenie (which, yes, is a fucking dreadful name) running around under a freeway underpass a few weeks ago. He couldn't have been more than six or seven pounds, but he was very scared, and he was not fucking around. I thought I was going to lose a finger.

      Thankfully I managed to get a leash on him without getting bit, and he came with me quiet as a lamb once he was leashed, and then he just wanted to be cuddled and held until I managed to get in touch with his owners, poor little guy. But those few minutes while I was first trying to catch him, especially when I had him cornered—he was VICIOUS.

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    walterCOCKrightTom Scocca
    5/29/14 2:28pm

    Dogs are such a touchy subject. While I might not be a "dog person" I do like dogs and would never abuse one let alone any animal. What gets me is the upgrading of dogs to human and sometimes even above human status. I have a family member who loves her dog and I recently posed this question to her: Would you allow your dog to be killed in order to save a strangers life? The answer did not come fast as I would expect it to and in the end she was leaning towards NO. I asked one of my best friends the same and he said NO with certainty. I have a huge problem with this. Dogs are animals. I think they are below humans and never worth a human life. When I see dogs at restaurants I make a note to not go there to eat. I think most of the elevation that dogs have gotten comes from the same place that all the texting instead of a phone call come from. People these days just want to spurt things out with little concern to actually listen and have a conversation. Dogs make the perfect companion for this group of people.

    X-

    PS It kinda looks like she crapped herself after some hardcore anal.

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      All Hail The Big CatwalterCOCKright
      5/29/14 4:38pm

      It probably took her awhile to answer because it's a vague immature question of a person with an agenda to inform us all on how misplaced our priorities are.

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      walterCOCKrightAll Hail The Big Cat
      5/29/14 5:18pm

      I thought the question was very direct but I do agree with you about misplaced priorities. If you or anyone else can't see that a human life trumps that of a dog or any animal then compassion for the human species is indeed dead. What makes this question immature to you?

      X-

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    homomanTom Scocca
    5/29/14 2:03pm

    she has no business having a dog. After the first bite and there is no correction from the human, the dog gets the message that biting is appropriate. She's going to have major issues if the dog bites a stranger.

    On another note feeding a dog food they love at an outdoor cafe that allows pets is not wrong. In Several cities people routinely bring dogs to outdoor cafés.

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      Babylegshomoman
      5/29/14 2:12pm

      Could you imagine the debt you'd be able to clear if Lena Dunham's dog bit you?

      Anyone have any idea where Lamby hangs out?

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      firefirefirefireonmybrainhomoman
      5/29/14 2:14pm

      While a bite on the buns is funny, I'm choosing to believe that photo is what I originally interpreted it as: Lena Dunham's poopy drawers.

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    J.K. TrotterTom Scocca
    5/29/14 2:27pm

    Didn’t David Carr abruptly stop tweeting at Lena Dunham (and Dunham at Carr) after we noted their very public friendship last year? The former’s Lamby tweet is the first time in over a year that they’ve publicly interacted on Twitter.

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      e.nonTom Scocca
      5/29/14 1:56pm

      good grief... the narcissism resulting from these social media sites is shocking and depressing. why the fuck do people feel compelled to share everyfuckingthing.

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        keyboardcate.non
        5/29/14 1:59pm

        Because, Millenials.

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        Brock Samsae.non
        5/29/14 2:00pm

        One day someone came up with the phrase "pics or it didn't happen." Shortly thereafter, people began taking it literally. Then Instagram.

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      GenevieveTom Scocca
      6/12/14 6:45pm

      You're an idiot Tom. I so don't like you & your WRONG opinions. Go away & stop writing advice cause you sound like you aren't a fan of dogs.

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        Tom ScoccaGenevieve
        6/12/14 8:51pm

        I like dogs. I grew up with dogs. That's why it's so annoying to see someone treating her dog's serious behavioral problem like it's a silly little quirk.

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