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    ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ : Riot GRRR is RUNNING WILDRebecca "Burt" Rose
    5/13/14 10:39pm

    Burt Makes Up Story To Distract From Her Own Drinking Habits Because There's No Way This Person Was Actually Named Drinkwater

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      brightersideoflifeʕ•ᴥ•ʔ : Riot GRRR is RUNNING WILD
      5/13/14 10:44pm

      Monday night Burt handed a police officer a liquor store receipt instead of her license. Good news was that she was driving a John Deere.

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      Rebecca "Burt" Rosebrightersideoflife
      5/13/14 10:50pm

      THAT COP IS ALWAYS LYING ABOUT ME THO

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    KittysRebecca "Burt" Rose
    5/13/14 10:34pm

    In Ontario we have points on our driver's license. Run out of points (drunk driving, way over the speed limit, etc), you lose your license. How does someone have 7 DUIs and still have a license?

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      Rebecca "Burt" RoseKittys
      5/13/14 10:36pm

      Her license is probably in some state of suspension or something like that. She was driving, but it doesn't mean she was driving on a good license. Hey, that's probably why she tried to give him the vodka receipt!

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      KittysKittys
      5/13/14 10:39pm

      Okay apparently impaired driving doesn't have anything to do with the points, it's a different type of offense. BUT STILL.

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    Swimming with Jimmy SemenRebecca "Burt" Rose
    5/13/14 10:35pm

    Her last name. Completely unironic, no?

    I'm pretty much going to include this photo with all of my posts for the next week.

    Unironic bunny FTW.

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      KanyeTheBestSwimming with Jimmy Semen
      5/13/14 10:42pm

      Drinkwater

      GIF
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      jlfforalwaysSwimming with Jimmy Semen
      5/13/14 10:44pm

      This is completely the right thing to do. About everything.

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    Over-the-RiverRebecca "Burt" Rose
    5/13/14 10:46pm

    The Headline was too difficult for this old man. I thought it said Woman Hands Over IUD, Gets DUI.

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      loupdeserreOver-the-River
      5/13/14 11:14pm

      Admittedly, if I had to get out my own IUD, I'd have to get pretty drunk first. Off topic but funny: My bf calls it and IED. It entertains me to no end, so I've given up correcting him.

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      Gnomi Maloneloupdeserre
      5/13/14 11:46pm

      They're actually really easy to remove, I slipped my copper one out with a gentle tug just to see what would happen. I was kind of in shock that it actually came out and immediately regretted doing it, but I put it on my fireplace mantle and it makes for a nice conversation piece.

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    pizzaqueen91Rebecca "Burt" Rose
    5/13/14 10:40pm

    NO. HER NAME WAS NOT "DRINKWATER". I REFUSE.

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      BloomingBravadopizzaqueen91
      5/13/14 11:25pm

      It's all just too much!

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    jifaner13Rebecca "Burt" Rose
    5/13/14 10:59pm

    If drunk drivers weren't so fucking awful this would be the best thing I've read all week.

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      jemandthehologramsjifaner13
      5/14/14 9:46am

      I'm simultaneously outraged by her seven DUIs and laughing about every other aspect of this story.

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    hahopRebecca "Burt" Rose
    5/13/14 10:34pm

    I feel like you missed a big opportunity here with this woman's last name...

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      Rebecca "Burt" Rosehahop
      5/13/14 10:40pm

      Yeah, I avoided the obvious joke there. That's what I have you guys for.

      It really is just TOO perfect, you know?

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      PetyrBaelishRebecca "Burt" Rose
      5/13/14 10:43pm

      Her name could have been "Drinkvodka"

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    bloodbuzzRebecca "Burt" Rose
    5/14/14 2:01am

    Drink Vodka like the rest of us do—at home, alone, in a pool of tears reading crossoverWatership Down-Ratatouille fan fiction and tweeting poetry quotes to Gary Busey.

    I'm sorry this is probably the greatest sentence I've ever read (and also my Thursday night)

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      swishandflickbloodbuzz
      5/14/14 9:35am

      People vastly underestimate the benefits of getting sloshy drunk at home. It's so much safer!

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    bibliobimboRebecca "Burt" Rose
    5/14/14 11:07am

    I once called the police on a friend of mine who left a party at my house way too drunk to drive. We'd taken her keys but she had an extra key in her wallet and she was one of those belligerent drunks who thinks everyone is out to ruin their good time. The best part of the story — outside of the fact that she did not kill anyone driving in that condition — is that she got all the way home and realized her house key was on the key ring we'd taken from her...so she got BACK in the car and drove back to my house, where the police had just arrived to get a description of the car. She pulled up right behind the cop car, in fact, and they were standing there on the sidewalk when she got out, stumbled over her own shoes, and then tried to brush past them, all the while screaming at me "BITCH I WANT MY HOUSE KEY!!" When the cops tried to put her in their car, she took a swing at one of them. It was epic. She did not talk to me for almost a year because I got her arrested but hey, nobody died so it was funny as hell. Later, I mean.

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      Rebecca "Burt" Rosebibliobimbo
      5/14/14 11:13am

      Oh sweet holy shit.

      That reminds me of one of my favorite episodes of Cops where they had to arrest one of the world's shittiest drunks ever. She had been drunk at a party, stolen someone's car, crashed it into a light pole a block away from the house, then broke through a patio door, went upstairs and passed out on her friend's bed. On Cops, they showed the officers trying to wake her up. It took forever! When she finally came to, she took a swing at two cops and screamed obscenities at them for waking her up.

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      bibliobimboRebecca "Burt" Rose
      5/14/14 12:59pm

      It was pretty classic. I was standing out front talking to the officers when she drove up. Drove over the curb and everything. One cop was saying, "Can you give us a description of your friend?" just as she staggered out of the car. I went, "She looks like that—" and pointed. Better yet, the police called me several hours later asking if I'd come and get her. I could hear her shrieking in the background "I WON'T GO HOME WITH THAT BITCH!" They were so done with her they were desperate for someone to come and take her away. It's only funny in retrospect because no one got hurt, but it was pretty damn funny just the same.

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    RedWriterRebecca "Burt" Rose
    5/13/14 10:36pm
    GIF
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