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    i think she said feckDoug Barry
    2/23/14 11:41am

    Retrofitted acting replicant Jesse Eisenberg will parlay his lucrative acting career and occasional "Shouts & Murmurs" scribbles into a less lucrative career as a short story writer, which he will then parlay into an even less lucrative career as a traveling fabulist in the German countryside

    etc.....

    WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT DOUG. STAAAAHP.

    GIF
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      OnMyMindGrapesi think she said feck
      2/23/14 11:45am

      What does it even mean?

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      BecauseOfReasonsi think she said feck
      2/23/14 12:01pm

      I know, right? I started reading this DirtBag, paused at the third item, and was like, This is annoying as hell to read. Today must be a Doug day.

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    bugthecatDoug Barry
    2/23/14 12:04pm

    At worst Bieber figures he'd only go to jail for a weekend like Lohan. I never thought he'd agree to drug testing.

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      It'sNotEasyBeingGreybugthecat
      2/23/14 12:09pm

      The judge can (and, if found guilty, probably will) sentence him to drug testing as part of his probation.

      It's a huge gamble for famous people to leave things up to judges- they're made an example of at least as often as they're let off easy.

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      bugthecatIt'sNotEasyBeingGrey
      2/23/14 12:15pm

      They seem to get off a lot lighter than non-celebs.

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    KishDoug Barry
    2/23/14 12:15pm

    I know I'm still a little out of it due to all of the tequila from last night, but a lot of what I just read did not make sense.

    GIF
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      DickKish
      2/23/14 2:04pm

      It's a Doug day. Par for the course.

      GIF
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    BartlebyThesScrivenerDoug Barry
    2/23/14 12:20pm

    I don't know what any of this means, but I still had fun reading it. Anyway, can we talk about the first few episodes of season 2 of House of Cards? I mean, what?!

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      DairygirlBartlebyThesScrivener
      2/23/14 1:07pm

      Damn. I did not see what happened in the first episode coming.

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      bugthecatDairygirl
      2/23/14 1:29pm

      You should watch the British version. "Daddy" indeed.

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    llaalleellDoug Barry
    2/23/14 12:02pm

    I'm so bemused by a lot of the hullabaloo around that Michael B. Jordan and Kate Mara casting. If there's ever an example of how people's own biases color their perception of things (yes, I did that), this is it. Of my brother's biological kids, one son looks like Paul Walker (RIP) and another son looks like Drake. I'm pretty desensitized to the matter at this point. The fact that people can't wrap their heads around how such a sibling pairing can exist and need some elaborate explanation is amusing—sad and frustrating too, but still amusing.

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      ellymayclampettllaalleell
      2/23/14 4:11pm

      We've always had fun with it. I get a kick out of the puzzled look, then pregnant pause before the question gets asked. People have been asking my kids if they're full siblings all their lives. My son is a dead ringer for James Franco (only with better teeth), and my daughter is a goth version of Jennifer Beals. I am biracial and their father is white. It's going to be interesting to see what their children look like, depending on whom they marry.

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      llaalleellellymayclampett
      2/23/14 5:09pm

      Right! I forget that people aren't as desensitized. My sister and I still get those strange looks. I remember a long time ago, I couldn't get on a military base with my sister because the guard didn't believe we were related.

      I love when genetics plays out like that. It's fascinating and often total comedy-worthy (to offset a lot of the blatant racism). My mom loved to put the grandkids in afrocentric clothes when they were little which is awesome for the 3 kids who don't look at all black. But they're closest to our side of the family so they're really entrenched in black culture and the black church, etc. and have these different experiences with identity at school.

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    deutschergirlDoug Barry
    2/23/14 11:35am

    Stop trying to make Ryan Gosling happen! He plays in the same league of weirdo creepy looking dudes like Nicolas Cage. Wth? I'd rather get it on with that Estwick guy from Gossip Girl.

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      Petrashmetradeutschergirl
      2/23/14 11:43am

      Ryan Gosling is already happening. He's been happening for quite some time now. I don't get it either, but he's a thing whether or not Doug mentions him in a Sunday dirtbag. Sorry.

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      Michaeldeutschergirl
      2/23/14 11:49am

      Whhhhaaaaa? Ryan Gosling already happened, happened again, and is still happening.

      And then we all bought the book.

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    LikeAnAppleDoug Barry
    2/23/14 3:44pm

    You know why I love reading Doug Barry columns? Because of all the Jezzies who love to hate-read Doug Barry columns and then comment about it. This isn't snark, I really truly enjoy the inevitable comment circus, and I kinda think Doug does too. That's just my gut feeling on the matter.

    Keep on keeping on, Doug and Jezzies.

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      Inspector SpacetimeLikeAnApple
      2/23/14 4:43pm

      Yeah, at this point he's definitely trolling us. I can usually recognize a Doug Barry dirtbag by the second item (I always forget it's Sunday until then), but this time I took one look at the wall of text and was like, "he's just fucking with everyone, right?"

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      Zuze Tree FiddyLikeAnApple
      2/23/14 8:38pm

      Gawker bullies. And you wonder what these losers teach their kids about respecting others. I am embarrassed for them really. Sad sad people hiding behind keyboards.

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    imaginaryfriendDoug Barry
    2/23/14 11:33am

    If refusing the plea deal means he won't be able to get a US work visa, then...stand strong, Justin!

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      MichaelDoug Barry
      2/23/14 11:56am

      The comments on that "Julianne Moore Does Her Own Housework" story are super delightful.

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        GELLA - LLAPMichael
        2/23/14 12:02pm

        its great:)) except i had to re-read what Doug wrote and click on a link just to get it..... too early...

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      minimaddieDoug Barry
      2/23/14 12:08pm

      Doug, what's a polite way to tell you your Dirt Bags are the absolute worst?

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        limegreenandtangerineminimaddie
        2/23/14 1:02pm
        GIF
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