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    burlivesleftnutKen Layne
    2/19/14 4:25pm

    I had a vegetarian friend who invited me to dinner circa 1995. She asked what vegetables I at and we had a hard time reaching a consensus. When I arrived for dinner, she had made herself a delicious pasta with a lot of vegetables I would not want. And she warmed up two hot pockets for me. I think they were pepperoni. That's my hot pocket story.

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      Arctic16burlivesleftnut
      2/19/14 4:28pm

      Are you four years old? Do you not like vegetables? Does the idea of broccoli repulse you?

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      BigPlopsburlivesleftnut
      2/19/14 4:30pm

      I don't understand this story at all. Are you someone who hasn't transplanted to a major coastal metropolis or something?

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    datwangaiKen Layne
    2/19/14 4:26pm

    fuck you. hot pockets are fucking tasty. but mainly the pepperoni pizza and bbq ones.

    besides, wasn't the recall for the shitty philly cheese steak ones?

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      Ken Laynedatwangai
      2/19/14 4:29pm

      Please do continue eating as many Hot Pockets as possible. They're pretty good right out of the freezer, too!

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      HiMyNameIsJayAgainKen Layne
      2/19/14 4:32pm

      They're pretty good right out of the freezer, too!

      Please do continue eating as many Hot Pockets as possible. They're pretty good right out of… Read more Read more

      "Hot Pockets: Because You Don't Even Try Anymore."

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    김치전!Ken Layne
    2/19/14 4:25pm

    Ken Layne is a shill for Big Texturized Vegetable Protein.

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      WillemPenn김치전!
      2/19/14 4:34pm

      Sponsored Content

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      Arctic16김치전!
      2/19/14 4:54pm

      So, lame story. My college girlfriend was a vegan (what an awful sentence to have to type out). So I ate a lot of vegan food. TVP is awesome. I often didn't realize it wasn't meat, no bullshit. Flame away if you'd like.

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    OMG!PONIES!Ken Layne
    2/19/14 4:29pm

    It's an albino Burmese python using a microwave oven.

    I'm surprised that you've never seen such a thing.

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      Cam/ronOMG!PONIES!
      2/19/14 4:31pm

      You do know they are plotting world conquest via Skynet, right?

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      김치전!Cam/ron
      2/19/14 4:33pm

      The pythons or the microwaves?

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    MikeGreggsKen Layne
    2/19/14 4:32pm

    So ever heard of an Alabama Hot Pocket?

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      stacyinbeanMikeGreggs
      2/19/14 4:41pm

      Oh my god, you'd think after 15+ years on the internet I'd learn not to look these things up at work. Laughing silently at my desk.

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      MikeGreggsstacyinbean
      2/19/14 5:26pm

      btw, Alabama is code for NSFW

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    Johnny ChundersKen Layne
    2/19/14 4:35pm

    Fun fact: Hot Pockets were invented by the Pentagon as a consumable foodstuff that could also be used a building material.

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      Tucker973Johnny Chunders
      2/19/14 5:05pm

      You didn't happen to write a letter to Caity Weaver recently, did you...?

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      Johnny ChundersTucker973
      2/19/14 5:06pm

      ?

      Oh! That random factoid liar person!

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    HiMyNameIsJayAgainKen Layne
    2/19/14 4:29pm
    GIF
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      Rodney32Ken Layne
      2/19/14 4:36pm

      You don't know how on the money this article is. Those fucking assholes at Facebook have been using the accounts of their subscribers, unknowingly, and often after they're dead to like and endorse products such as Hot Pockets. In many cases, those Facebook subscribers are vehemently opposed to the garbage they like and endorse.

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        benjaminalloverRodney32
        2/19/14 4:51pm

        Advertising exec to Nestle: "We should really avoid any messaging which might evoke the fact that this snack is toxic waste, so let's distract with cool anti-foodie guerilla viral marketing bullshit."

        Nestle is the same company who sold formula to poor women in areas where it was not safe to do so (water contamination) by telling desperately poor mothers throughout the 3rd world that it was better for their babies than breast milk, a lie. So of course they sell us this crap that is "food" only in a technical legal sense by any means available to them.

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      Cam/ronKen Layne
      2/19/14 4:27pm

      Gah, get that python away from that microwave's radiation! Sorry, that was my gut reaction to this post.

      Now, excuse me while I eat Lox in a Tube:

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        ChallahbackCam/ron
        2/19/14 4:34pm

        Ikea tube-edibles and crispbread are two of the most cherished parts of my childhood.

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        Alexander_Crouton-SkitchCam/ron
        2/19/14 4:47pm

        Tubelox. I need nothing else ever.

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      kookaloontzKen Layne
      2/19/14 4:31pm

      When I read the title I thought it was Hamilton Nolan railing against another absurd white people problem that's not even a problem. Turns out it was someone else who writes for Gawker.

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        Ken Laynekookaloontz
        2/19/14 4:31pm

        I encourage you to triple your intake of Hot Pockets. They are best enjoyed after being left on the counter overnight.

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        504gumbogumboKen Layne
        2/19/14 5:09pm

        I encourage you to eat a bag of dicks you useless snide asshole.

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