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    comeonpoppetDoug Barry
    2/16/14 2:37pm

    THEY HAVE TINY HUMAN HANDS AND RABIES. YOU UNTAG THIS SQUEE RIGHT NOW DOUG BARRY. RIGHT NOW.

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      paulalovescatscomeonpoppet
      2/16/14 3:42pm

      Raccoons have rabies. Wow. All of them??

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      comeonpoppetpaulalovescats
      2/16/14 3:43pm

      Yes. All. Of. Them.

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    kiisseliDoug Barry
    2/16/14 3:17pm

    Raccoons are my favourite animal, and I live in a city that has a million of them so trust that I know they can also be annoying. Reasons raccoons are great:

    1. they're cute as hell (those faces, the wobbly walk, everything!)
    2. they're super smart, all respect
    3. they're goddamn survivors.

    If it turns out that reincarnation is a thing, I hope I come back as a raccoon.

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      Sternummankiisseli
      2/16/14 3:25pm

      They are cute as hell until they attack one of your dogs.

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      kiisseliSternumman
      2/16/14 3:39pm

      That's super unfortunate. I don't have a dog and nobody I know in the city does, so I didn't realize they could be aggressive like that. Sorry to hear, hope your pup is ok.

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    paultoesDoug Barry
    2/16/14 3:13pm

    They are so talented.

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      LatitudeWhyttpaultoes
      2/16/14 7:09pm

      oh my god is that raccoon playing the musical sprinkler

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      paultoesLatitudeWhytt
      2/16/14 7:15pm

      Yes. She is.

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    redfarexDoug Barry
    2/16/14 2:42pm

    Raccoons are not horrible! With their stripy tails and their fat fluffy bodies and their lil creepy human hands and their omnivorous diets and their SWEET DANCE MOVES

    GIF
    GIF

    Aw yeeeaaah

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      TaraFirmaredfarex
      2/16/14 2:49pm

      Aw yeeeaaah, hell yeeeaaah! Is that you?

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      redfarexTaraFirma
      2/16/14 2:51pm

      I WISH.

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    goddessoftransitoryDoug Barry
    2/17/14 12:40am

    Honestly, all animals, no matter how darling and cuddly, has a dark side. Our local lake is filled with squirrels that are so used to being fed by gullible tourists that they've basically become the mafia. You're sitting there eating chips or whatnot and suddenly they pop up—one, then two, then three—standing straight up, looking you right in the eye. They practically pop one tiny furry fist against a tiny furry palm, all "Nice chips. Shame if something happened to them."

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      TheBrokenOpheliagoddessoftransitory
      2/17/14 4:43am

      Squirrel version of creepers from minecraft. That or like you say, squirrel mafia, extorting protection foods from people D:

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      CandyCOgoddessoftransitory
      2/17/14 3:47pm

      Had the same thing happen with a raccoon & some Taco Bell at a park when we lived near Kansas City. He was not leaving until he had some taco. At least he was cute & not aggressive.

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    ExtraExtraDoug Barry
    2/16/14 2:36pm

    I think they're cute, I'm sure you could tame them as pets although how much damage you'd have to endure first is likely sizable.

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      EineMinutenbitteExtraExtra
      2/16/14 3:28pm

      A lot of people actually keep raccoons and skunks as pets! Vets will even remove the smelly glands from skunks to make them more household friendly!

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      ExtraExtraEineMinutenbitte
      2/16/14 3:28pm

      I've heard that, skunks are adorable too.

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    CorggirlDoug Barry
    2/16/14 3:07pm

    You have not lived until you've seen your grandfather bludgeon a raccoon to death with a baseball bat.

    Wait, maybe that should start, "You haven't required therapy until you've seen..."

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      The Ghost of ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ AKA BabyStepsDoug Barry
      2/16/14 3:42pm
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        anterogradeDoug Barry
        2/16/14 4:22pm

        I love raccoons (but I'm not stupid they all all have rabies), but I think the most terrifying encounter I've had with a wild animal was when I was walking back to my apartment building after a day at the library. It was snowing heavily and late, but when I approached my building door I saw a FUCKING POSSUM WAITING AT THE DOOR LIKE IT WAS GOING TO EAT ME. And I am not a squeamish person; I've handled and cut open countless dead animals, and have eaten while doing dissections. But the possum had the beadiest eyes in the world, which told me that it was going to EAT MY FACE OFF.

        Luckily it ran away so I could go inside, internally screaming "NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE" until I got into my apartment.

        Moral of the story: if you have to choose between a raccoon and a possum, I'd go with the raccoon.

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          goddessoftransitoryanterograde
          2/17/14 12:35am

          Aw, it wanted to be friends! Beady eyed pointy toothed friends!

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          anterogradegoddessoftransitory
          2/17/14 11:55am

          *shudders*

          It looked like something that had crawled out of hell. Plus it was stealing food from the outdoor cat's bowl.

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        DanielleKrilledYourJellyFishDoug Barry
        2/16/14 2:48pm

        Racoons are not perfect, but how dare you call them horrible. They have little PAW HANDS.

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