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    raincoasterAdam Weinstein
    2/07/14 8:10pm

    America, why do your Tasers emit confetti? Why has no-one else found this odd? Is there something about the experience I'm missing?

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      toothpetardraincoaster
      2/07/14 8:29pm

      Makes even the dourest of taserings a festive event?

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      gossipninjaraincoaster
      2/07/14 9:14pm

      tasers sold to civilians emit "confetti" that have a unique and traceable serial number so if they are used (either legally or illegally) they can be traced back to the owner.

      This allows police to find suspects if they are used illegally, or corroborate information for those that claim to have used them legally.

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    StoneMustardAdam Weinstein
    2/07/14 5:24pm

    When I lived in Milwaukee, I was surprised they seemed to have kind of a sizable 5% nation population. It's certainly not the image that comes to mind (though, to be fair, the thing that comes to mind when you hear "Milwaukee" is usually a drunk guy with a last name of Czarnewszki yelling something racist and/or about his ex-wife keeping the restraining order even though he's got a place of his own to live now, which is actually a car he sleeps in that he parked outside her house.)

    I miss that city so much.

    ETA: Unless you're from Wisconsin, in which case it's known as "the city with black people in it that I went to for a concert once and I somehow survived, even though there were black people in the vicinity. Walker 2016!"

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      The Ghost of ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ AKA BabyStepsStoneMustard
      2/07/14 5:27pm

      I just posted this. That name really sounds like something from the 5 Percenters.

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      sizor_sisterThe Ghost of ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ AKA BabySteps
      2/07/14 5:30pm

      Yes, the names "Universal Knowledge" and "Allah" are common amongst the Five Percenters and similar groups.

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    ObliteratiAdam Weinstein
    2/07/14 5:18pm

    Well, now I feel bad about naming my son Substandard Literacy Azathoth...

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      KaldricusObliterati
      2/07/14 9:03pm

      Shrug. I'm not stepping down from Mediocre Intelligence Spaghetti Monster for my first born.

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      G3istbotObliterati
      2/09/14 11:42pm

      Not me! I'm very proud of my son, Action Packed Awesome Fun Noble Eightfold Path Siddhārtha Gautama Buddha

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    ManchuCandidateAdam Weinstein
    2/07/14 5:18pm

    Poor Raj Thomas. After Rerun died, he turned to a life of crazy crime.

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      VeryWellManchuCandidate
      2/07/14 5:21pm

      You know Dwayne sold him the weed.

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      ManchuCandidateVeryWell
      2/07/14 5:25pm

      I knew it. There was always something wrong about him.

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    The Ghost of ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ AKA BabyStepsAdam Weinstein
    2/07/14 5:25pm

    With a name like Universal Knowledge Allah he sounds like a member of the Five-Percent Nation

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      Queen of BithyniaThe Ghost of ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ AKA BabySteps
      2/07/14 6:28pm

      Thanks, I knew that sort of name sounded familiar from somewhere.

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      AP BearThe Ghost of ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ AKA BabySteps
      2/08/14 9:05am

      are there any new Five Percenters? Or did that sect die out with the 1990s?

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    Sean BrodyAdam Weinstein
    2/07/14 5:28pm

    Just fighting against the violins inherent in the system.

    I'll get my coat.

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      Uncle ChigurhSean Brody
      2/08/14 2:52am
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    Velveeta®Adam Weinstein
    2/07/14 5:39pm

    Out of the things to steal, a Stradivarius is the dumbest fucking thing you can attempt to steal because there's like 10 or something left in the world. How the hell would you resell it? Why don't they rob banks like the rest of us?

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      JaypeeVelveeta®
      2/07/14 6:32pm

      Stealing it wasn't dumb. Stealing it without having a wealthy buyer already lined up is dumb. You think the guys who robbed the Gardner in Boston tried selling the art on the open market? No, some horrid rich ass hole commissioned the theft for his private gallery/masturbation parlor.

      If only Universal Knowledge included knowing how to be an international art thief.

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      Question_of_FactVelveeta®
      2/07/14 6:46pm

      Couldn't the same be said about most art theft?

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    sizor_sisterAdam Weinstein
    2/07/14 5:29pm

    I've actually known one or two people with the name Universal Knowledge. Its common in the Nation of Gods and Earth (aka Five Percenters) to use that name or use the name Allah which is unthinkable in mainstream Islam. So I'm guessing these guys are/were members of the Five Percenters at one point. Anyone who knows anything about NGE wouldn't be surprised by these names.

    ETA: They often use the name "Allah" because they believe themselves to be Allah personified so its fitting that they take that name.

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      etfpAdam Weinstein
      2/07/14 5:23pm

      That's my favorite Wu-Tang member.

      Sidenote: Universal Knowledge Allah is probably a member of the Five-Percent Nation, an American offshoot of the Nation of Islam. They sometimes rename themselves some pretty colorful monikers.

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        2Squaredetfp
        2/07/14 6:59pm

        Yep. Couldn't be the NOI because I don't think any of them or members of any other sect of Islam would dare name themselves "Allah"

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      PudgyDaddyAdam Weinstein
      2/07/14 5:24pm

      This article is confusing as fuck.

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        DoctorNinePudgyDaddy
        2/07/14 5:31pm

        Don't clench your cheeks. And remember, being confused when you fuck can be enjoyable. Just make sure you have a safe word.

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