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    Lacey DonohueAdam Weinstein
    1/21/14 1:16pm

    You can pry my Spanx from my cold, lumpy body, Weinstein.

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      BeeblesTVLacey Donohue
      1/21/14 1:18pm

      Enjoy your slow painful death brought on by your uncontrollable desire to contort your body into a shape that conforms to societies views on what beautiful should look like. :P

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      Lacey DonohueBeeblesTV
      1/21/14 1:19pm

      Enjoy the rest of your freshman year of college!

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    JennifartAdam Weinstein
    1/21/14 1:24pm

    Ugh, I had to wear those under a bridesmaid dress. They made me lose about 1/2 an inch in my waist, but they also stole my butt crack while they were on, which is a very weird sensation. I ended up taking them off in the bathroom stall and throwing them out.

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      stacyinbeanJennifart
      1/21/14 1:31pm

      I can't even count how many pairs of Spanx I've shoved into those little trashcans/compartments meant for pads and tampons. Once I've had a few drinks I could not give a single fuck.

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      김치전!stacyinbean
      1/21/14 1:35pm

      That is an expensive habit!

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    Jerry-NetherlandAdam Weinstein
    1/21/14 1:33pm

    I own one Spanx-for-Men product, the one pictured below (I own it precisely because I don't have the body of the model wearing it). It's just a tank tee with lycra in the belly panel. I wear it about once or twice a month when I need to flatter myself by fitting into something I shouldn't. No harm done; in fact, I have better posture and eat less when I wear it. Come to think of it, maybe I should buy a few more, then after a few months I wouldn't need them at all.

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      MazalyaJerry-Netherland
      1/21/14 2:39pm

      I've been debating buying one of these for a while now. I'd love to hear a little more about it - how comfortable is it to wear during the day, how well has the compression effect held up over time (does it stretch out), etc. Any drawbacks? Is the compression uniform over the whole shirt, or is it more focused on the lower torso?

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      Jerry-NetherlandMazalya
      1/21/14 2:51pm

      @mazalya: The compression is tighter in the midsection. It is very comfortable, and holds up all day and after washing. The only downside is getting out of it! It helps if you have someone to get it off you.

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    SuffersfoolsgladlyAdam Weinstein
    1/21/14 6:20pm

    Nah. Just nah. Spanx are way too wimpy to do all that stuff. I wear a steel boned corset. Now, THAT shit can fuck you up!

    I have really bad Fibromyalgia which has gotten way badder over the past 25 years..but which feels less awful if I can wrap the muscles of my thoracic spine very tightly, when I have to function somewhere. I started out trying Spanx for the job. Mostly all the product does is smooth ripples and rolls.

    A corset carries all the cautions listed, if laced too tightly; you sort of have to learn to breath through your eyeballs.

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      SequaciousliciousSuffersfoolsgladly
      1/21/14 8:29pm

      The NYT has an archived article about a lady in 1903 (don't know how to link a PDF 'Corset Steel in the Heart') whose corset pierced her heart. Was that ever a concern?

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      SuffersfoolsgladlySequaciouslicious
      1/21/14 8:43pm

      Gosh! Well I know of people who have punctured lungs with them, and they can definitely skoosh your liver where it doesn't belong.

      I wear mine just as long as I need to, then I take it off, usually 3 hours at a time. So far, heart is still intact!

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    apeshapedmanAdam Weinstein
    1/21/14 1:24pm

    If I wore spanx I would just be ordinaryshapedman.

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      DontBeSuchaBoobPunchTinaapeshapedman
      1/24/14 12:36pm

      Every time I see your username, I get this in my head:

      And it is a delight.

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    Left HandshakeAdam Weinstein
    1/21/14 1:18pm

    Wait what why

    Why would you wear this? I had no idea this was popular outside of the now-mummified Sweatin' To the Oldies crowd. It doesn't make you look better, it makes you look constipated (because you are).

    Eat your vegetables.

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      ZucchiniisforeverLeft Handshake
      1/21/14 1:31pm

      I recently saw a slender, 60-ish woman in a clinging knit dress. Totally smooth. You know she was wearing Spanx. The guy she was with knew it. Why not just skip the Spanx and wear something a little more forgiving? That's my philosophy, but I go everywhere in jeans. Not too tight.

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      GuillermatheAxBearerLeft Handshake
      1/21/14 1:56pm

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    UngratefulDeadAdam Weinstein
    1/21/14 3:32pm

    Did we not already know this from the Victorian era? Are we losing science? SHIT HOW DO YOU CURE POLIO?

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      Chamomiles DavisAdam Weinstein
      1/21/14 1:15pm

      "Next Story: Speedos - Beach Blanket Vasectomies?"

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        heywhatAdam Weinstein
        1/21/14 1:32pm

        Spanx is over-hyped and overpriced. You can find shapewear that is just as good if not better, that will not leave you feeling like sausage stuffed inside of casing, for half the price.

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          EnigmaticToastheywhat
          1/21/14 1:40pm

          I know I have owned non-Spanx shapewear before, since the brand wasn't always so big, but I'm wondering if you'd recommend a specific competitor brand?

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          allthesingleladiesheywhat
          1/21/14 1:40pm

          Where???

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        fuck a stupid girlAdam Weinstein
        1/21/14 1:37pm

        Breathing problems, digestive difficulties, and nerve pain or look sleek and slenderer during daily life??!??!?! Pick sleek and slenderer ladies, live for today!

        Because living for the years down the line might not be pleasant with all the breathing problems, digestive difficulties, and nerve pain possibly caused by your undergarments.

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          HostessWithNeurosesfuck a stupid girl
          1/22/14 10:21pm

          What I don't understand is... Are women just wearing spanx that are too small for them? I am all for sleek and slender, but I thought spanx were just for the sleek. If anyone is using them to slenderize, it's probably just too small... right? I've just been using shapewear to smooth pantylines/keep it sleek in office skirts. The size I'm wearing doesn't feel like it could possibly cause all those problems.

          OR HAS SPANX JUST TRICKED MY EASILY-MANIPULATED LADY BRAIN?

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          fuck a stupid girlHostessWithNeuroses
          1/22/14 10:29pm

          1. Women are wearing spanx that are too small for them, to squeeze their innards together and make them more physically appealing. Their outinnards though, the ininnards might also be appealing but who can tell? They are inside the body and not for show therefore not important.

          2. SPANX HAS ACTUALLY IMPLANTED A CHIP IN YOUR BRAIN THAT MANIPULATES YOUR THOUGHTS INTO THINKING ABOUT SHAPEWEAR. IF YOU ARE IN A RESTAURANT AND FIND YOURSELF ABOUT TO ORDER "SPANX AND SODA" FOR A DRINK KNOW THAT YOU ARE DOOOOOMMMMMEEEEDDDDD.

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