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    frau meixia, who is better than Max ReadDoug Barry
    1/12/14 1:55pm

    Lately I've been reading Dr Gabor Mate's book about the impact of stress on health, "When the Body Says No", and so my immediate thought was that taking on so much (and often self-sacrificing for others) cannot have good consequences in the long term. If many of these women end up becoming disabled in middle age as a consequence — which happens more often than one might think — they're going to be more of a burden on the system than if they and their children were given proper support early. I don't understand why government policy never looks at issues like this holistically.

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      Sagenotebookfrau meixia, who is better than Max Read
      1/12/14 2:00pm

      Because bets are on them dying, not becoming disable and living longer.

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      brightersideoflifefrau meixia, who is better than Max Read
      1/12/14 2:05pm

      I don't think that government legislation does shit for preventative health measures anymore. I mean, look at food stamps and school meal programs. Cuts, cuts, cuts. How well can children learn if they are chronically hungry? It messes up their attention spans, cognitive abilities, etc. So then it's literally harder for them to learn, they perform worse in school, etc. And then people get upset about test scores, district-wide performance levels, reading skills, and so forth. I'm not saying that the only thing preventing kids from being Rhodes Scholars is food, but how can you break the cycle of poverty if you ignore things that would help at-risk populations?

      Similar thing to your excellent point, which I see as yet another reason to have more subsidized childcare systems and expanded WIC programs.

      I almost think it comes back to the fears of moochers and welfare queens. Like, omg, people might take advantage of these programs instead of getting better jobs and doing it for themselves.

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    goddessoftransitoryDoug Barry
    1/12/14 2:08pm

    I am so damn sick of that "bad choices" self-righteous droning. Not that bad choices don't exist, and can't fuck up your life. But the idea that if you choose the "wrong" path in life at sixteen or seventeen, you deserve nothing but an unending shitstorm from then on is not only cruel and ridiculous, but classist as hell. (And sexist and racist, while we're up.)

    A rich white kid can argue "affluenza" made him drive drunk and ruin four lives and go to fucking rehab, after which his bad choices will spin and gyrate like angry ghosts, desperate to influence his future happiness, while a poor person/woman/POC gets caught with a joint at a party or has (gasp!) sex and has their future obliterated.

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      kemperboydgoddessoftransitory
      1/12/14 2:11pm

      "bad choices" and lacking "hard work" they are buzzwords for people who don't have empathy. The biggest "bad choice" made, the one that sets people on a path to paycheck to paycheck leaving is being born to poor parents in a bad neighbourhood. Those babies shoulda made better choices.

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      cinquopatedgoddessoftransitory
      1/12/14 2:15pm

      And blame ourselves for it to boot.

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    brightersideoflifeDoug Barry
    1/12/14 1:55pm

    I think it's hard for many people to understand the whole "one paycheck" away concept. They can wrap their heads around the concept of being unemployed, or having the breadwinner get sick or die, but the concept that someone can have a job and/or a degree and still be stuck on that balance beam of misery is an alien thing.

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      goddessoftransitorybrightersideoflife
      1/12/14 2:35pm

      I always want to forcefeed them Nickel and Dimed, especially the chapter where's she's working as a house cleaner and one woman destroys her ankle but keeps cleaning because if she stops to go to the hospital, her kids don't eat.

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      brightersideoflifegoddessoftransitory
      1/12/14 2:40pm

      YES TO ALL OF THIS!!!!!!!!!!!

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    NoraTheRatDoug Barry
    1/12/14 2:49pm

    people regretted not furthering their education, not making better financial decisions

    Unfortunately, furthering your education often involves making some bad financial decisions as you end up in shedloads of debt and still bugger all job prospects. :(

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      brightersideoflifeNoraTheRat
      1/12/14 3:19pm

      Let's make matching t-shirts!!!!!!!!!!

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      NoraTheRatbrightersideoflife
      1/12/14 4:23pm

      Let's!!

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    MouthyFishwifeDoug Barry
    1/12/14 2:37pm

    I'm so thankful I don't have children. I think that every day. I wanted them, but I've spent my life in a series of dismal low paying jobs that make use of my college education but don't want to pay me for it. I can barely, sometimes not, take care of myself and a cat, I would hate myself forever if I had put a child through that.

    I'm not judging or having any kind of lack of respect for women who have done it, my best friends and coworkers have, and there is no end of my admiration and love for them and awe at their strength and perseverance.

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      LassieLudditeMouthyFishwife
      1/12/14 5:53pm

      honestly, I consider myself lucky to not especially want children. It makes coming to terms that I may never be able to afford hypothetical offspring much easier. I mean this with all sincerity, considering how many people out there genuinely would like kids of their own, but don't see how they (you) can provide a life where three meals a day aren't a big question mark at times- must be heartbreaking :`(

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      MouthyFishwifeLassieLuddite
      1/12/14 6:10pm

      I didn't think I wanted children, but as I got older my perspective changed, which completely surprised me. I still would like to have one. I'll be an older mother, but I think I could be a good mother.

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    BaristadoooorDoug Barry
    1/12/14 1:41pm

    I was in school, just got a job again. Its a few dollars above min wage. I still am applying for programs in the health care field....but I am feeling pretty cozy, and said programs are competitve. Thanks for shaking me up a bit. I needed that.

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      tinymuttagainDoug Barry
      1/12/14 3:14pm

      It's so scary. There's this whole "race to the bottom" mentality that conservatives and employers seem to have that, not only should we be able to do more with less, but we should be able to do it without anything.

      This blog post just floored me. The cell phone provider this woman worked for has a zero absence policy. She was worried about puking WHILE SHE WAS ON THE PHONE with someone. She took a day off and they fired her for having the flu. What the fuck kind of world do we live in, what kind of inhumanity are we willing to put up with?

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