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    SeriousAsAShartAttackKen Layne
    1/07/14 3:35pm

    Couldn't. Couldn't care less. I know lots of people say it wrong, but "mass idiocy is never harmless."

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      vaulyreaSeriousAsAShartAttack
      1/07/14 3:44pm

      Yeah, that one always annoys the hell out of me!

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      Ken LayneSeriousAsAShartAttack
      1/07/14 3:56pm

      English degree? No, ha ha, I prefer to be employed.

      I've changed the headline just to keep the other dozen jackasses from making the same comment. "Could care less" works fine, obviously.

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    EatTheCheeseNicholsonKen Layne
    1/07/14 3:35pm

    In Search Of Sasquatch, that was a kickass In Search Of

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      America's WangEatTheCheeseNicholson
      1/07/14 3:48pm

      That almost makes up for School of Rock.

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      CoopermanEatTheCheeseNicholson
      1/07/14 3:50pm

      If Sasquatch could learn to play the goddamn drums, he wouldn't have to hide with his shame deep in the woods.

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    toothpetardKen Layne
    1/07/14 3:31pm

    And NOBODY gives a shit about phytoplankton.

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      Left Handshaketoothpetard
      1/07/14 3:43pm

      Just you wait until they come out with the summer-computer-animated-feature-film-with-varying-degrees-of-listed-celebrity-voices about phytoplankton! We'll all start thinking about it when we have a catchy impersonation to share with one another ripped straight from the plucky comic relief who saves the day at the 78-minute mark, in typical anthropomorphic fashion.

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      America's Wangtoothpetard
      1/07/14 3:46pm

      They will when it's gone.

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    UngratefulDeadKen Layne
    1/07/14 3:46pm

    My skepticism somehow coexists with an irrational fear of certain aspects of the paranormal. If you asked me if I believed in ghosts I would truthfully say "of course not" but if I saw a ghost my first reaction would be "I fucking knew it!"

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      FerminaDazaUngratefulDead
      1/07/14 4:47pm

      Same here, and this extends to bigfoot for me. While I think Sasquatch (Sasquatches? Sasqui?) aren't real, there have definitely been a couple of times when I've been backpacking in the wilderness, heard something moving around in the brush from my tent, and accepted my fate of being snatched as his forest wife.

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      QuasiHamUngratefulDead
      1/08/14 4:24am

      What's a ghost look like?
      You'd be better off chalking it up to a questionable subjective experience, almost certainly attributable to a experiential hallucination. You'd be skeptical of your experience, not reversing everything you've come to understand about nature and what's possible. Remember: UFO sighting and abduction claims never existed prior to advent of the space program.

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    SpangarangKen Layne
    1/07/14 3:37pm

    Preferring fake shit to real shit is the American way. Or has the Velveeta shortage taught you nothing?

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      peiweihermanSpangarang
      1/07/14 3:39pm

      Hell, the fact that we're all on Gawker instead of a real news site is testimony to that.

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      Spangarangpeiweiherman
      1/07/14 3:42pm

      Hear, hear!

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    La.M.Ken Layne
    1/07/14 4:22pm

    JIM COOKE!!!!!!!!!!!! MARRY ME!!!!!!!!!!

    Does HamNo understand that BigFoot resides in the dead strip malls of Las Vegas. Sounds like a scoop that gawker would be on top of for sure.

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      redeyeLa.M.
      1/07/14 4:29pm

      I love this picture. This is already a candidate for one of the best Gawker images of 2014.

      The winner for 2013 was cream puff slap fight.

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      La.M.redeye
      1/07/14 4:44pm

      Thrill Clit Cult gets my vote.

      GIF
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    Yukon KizmiazKen Layne
    1/07/14 3:39pm

    Growing up in Northern California, I was raised listening to Bigfoot legends and stories. Sitting, fascinated, in front of the old "In Search Of" episode about Sasquatch.

    I really wanna believe, and think it's possible, some hairy, stinky, human-simian hybrid lurks in the wilds of the northwestern parts of the U.S. I don't even care who knows it. I think it's certainly as plausible, if not more so, than flying machines from outer space and prehistoric monsters living in lakes.

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      UngratefulDeadYukon Kizmiaz
      1/07/14 3:45pm

      I don't believe in any of them but cryptids make for fascinating reading both as curiosities and from an anthropological perspective. Dragons have to have been historic cultures misinterpreting dinosaur bones, right?

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      Gob_HobblinYukon Kizmiaz
      1/07/14 4:21pm

      I went to college with a few of those....

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    UngratefulDeadKen Layne
    1/07/14 3:41pm

    Americans: neutral on wildlife, passionate about the proper use of popular phrases.

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      rudi_freudeKen Layne
      1/07/14 4:25pm
      GIF
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        SrFenrisWolfKen Layne
        1/07/14 3:34pm

        It's "couldn't care less!" If someone can care less that means they care at least a little bit. Where'd you get your English degree?

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          squirreledawaySrFenrisWolf
          1/07/14 3:44pm

          HOLY SHIT IT'S DRIVING ME SO CRAZY THAT I CAN'T EVEN LOOK AT THE PAGE. AGGGHHHHHH WHY IS THIS A THING.

          Thanks for sharing this neurosis with me.

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