Kinja reply list

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twizzlerHamilton Nolan
1/02/14 10:20am
Gosh, I used to have such good dirt on her. She was universally hated by everone at my paper, where she'd basically leapt over people and the editor (who was suspected of boinking her) named her a columnist and paid her a three-figure salary even though our newspaper was in Orlando and SHE LIVED IN SOUTH CAROLINA! Yes, that's right kids, she was the prime columnist for Orlando and did not live there.

Once the editor made her drive to Orlando to write some columns from there, because people were starting to suspect and complain. So she got on the Interstate and there was a huge traffic accident that backed it up for miles somewhere around Gainesville, I think? So she wrote a column about how bad it is when traffic on Florida's interstates keeps you from getting into Orlando or some crap like that.

She did actually finally make it to the newsroom. Somebody put ME in charge of trying to find a computer for her, and I started to, but she acted so snooty and uppity, like a lowly reporter wasn't good enough for her to talk to so I just wandered off and left her alone. Not sure she ever found a computer.

She was savvy enough to get her self syndicated early on as a conservative columnist, which newspapers were not full of. And her pic is pretty so the papers LOVED to run her sig. Don't ever think a short skirt didn't work in the sexist newsrooms of Kathleen's day. (Oh, I'd love to hear her get all umbraged about this comment, lol.)

Oh and there's the time she snuck into the Emily's List party under false pretenses and then SAVAGED all the feminists of America in one snide little column. But the NRA are GREAT PEOPLE!

Then, since her opinions are so OUT THERE and she fashioned herself into some sort of conservative firebrand, the stupid Washington Post had the idiotic notion that hiring her would make them "diverse." That paper has gone straight into the dumpster.

Meanwhile, someone try to find the infamous column I hear Kathleen wrote during the trial of serial killer Ted Bundy, when she tried to make eye contact with him to see if he might pick HER as a victim. Pick me Ted!

I wish I had paid attention to the even better dirt. The oldtimers would grow red and fire would come out of their noses when speaking of her.

Bottom line: NEVER paid her dues, got HANDED plush assignments, LIVES like a 1%er (nothing a self-respecting journalist should do) and is full o' CRAP.

And yes. PULITZER (?!) Oh please, Orlando Sentinelites, come on and share your tales....
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  Hamilton Nolantwizzler
  1/02/14 10:23am
  If you do come up with any of that dirt, feel free to email me: Hamilton@Gawker.com
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  twizzlerHamilton Nolan
  1/02/14 10:32am
  Oh sorry, I guess I just spilled everything I know. BUT there are people who know far more and I will make sure they see this article.
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Cherith CutestoryHamilton Nolan
1/02/14 10:27am
One of our Founding Father's was killed in a duel by another. Others fucked their slaves and had multiple children by them. Hamilton had a public affair over being blackmailed by his mistress's husband. Aaron Burr tried to set up his own kingdom. What is one's sense of decorum?

We are a generation more willing to accept other people on their own terms than ever before for instance even a majority of the very conservative under 35 supports gay marriage. We are a generation that has seen violent crime go down drastically in our lifetime. We are a generation that has a lot of work to do in regards to racism but who is still entering a period where it is never been easier in this country to succeed regardless of race (the fact that it is easier does not suggest a lot of obstacles don't need to be removed). We have a lot to fix (income inequality) but I am pretty fucking sick of being lectured about the lack of goodness and decorum of a generation that is overall more tolerant, more accepting and less violent.

But more importantly, the Founding Fathers also accommodated and listened to different view points. They saw a system that wasn't working (Articles) and they changed it. They saw a Constitution that wasn't complete and they amended it. Frequently. If we are going to take lessons from them it isn't that the heart of America is "goodness". The lessons to take is that we shouldn't fear change. We should adapt to new times. Not that we should stick to the past concepts of decorum or goodness.
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  BuffaloRudeCherith Cutestory
  1/02/14 10:48am
  +1
  
  /Deadspin
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  MostlyLurkingCherith Cutestory
  1/02/14 11:56am
  I have nothing of merit to add other than to say that I think this is excellent.
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oldenough2byourmamaHamilton Nolan
1/02/14 10:14am
She may be a hack writer but your use of quotation marks...yikes.

Kathleen Parker, professional newspaper columnist, argues that we have "entered" an "era" of "envy and doubt," implying that previous to this year, those emotions were little known here in America—a nation where "envy for those who have more" is the animating principle of our culture.
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  Joey Delmaroldenough2byourmama
  1/02/14 10:37am
  Didn't the middle school you teach at go back to class today?
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  Paranoid Android (sometimes says dumb things)oldenough2byourmama
  1/02/14 10:46am
  Um, the author was using quotation marks to indicate that he was quoting someone/some thing. I didn't catch anything nefarious or even detected any sarcasm in the way the article was written.
  
  Do you have some sort of personal connection to Kathleen Parker? Is that why you needed to lash out?
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303GrumpyGuyHamilton Nolan
1/02/14 10:33am
Can we please put to bed the notion that our Founding Fathers did anything other than own a lot of land? Christ, I get so tired of the notion that George Washington was rolling on the battlefield with nothing but a rock and and a loin cloth bashing in British skulls by the millions.
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  FerminaDaza303GrumpyGuy
  1/02/14 11:22am
  "Can we please put to bed the notion that our Founding Fathers did anything other than own a lot of land?"
  
  Hey, that's not fair. Some of them owned a lot of slaves, too.
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  303GrumpyGuyFerminaDaza
  1/02/14 11:23am
  Oh, right, sorry. I guess that's what Republicans mean by "job creators."
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MuscatoHamilton Nolan
1/02/14 10:10am
Ugh - word salad by someone utterly unsure of what she means and even more unaware of the vacancy behind every awkwardly crafted sentence.

One of my favorite cautionary lines comes from a friend who is a historian of antiquity, who says that the biggest thing she's learned from her in-depth study of ancient texts is that for at least the past 4,000 years, old ladies have been complaining that strawberries tasted better when they were young.

Miley Cyrus is just the latest version of Evelyn Nesbit on her red velvet swing, and Anthony Weiner's weinerpalooza about as representative of the state of modern America as the writing of Kathleen Parker is of that of incisive contemporary journalism.
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  kcnewhavenMuscato
  1/02/14 11:06am
  Also the "snow was this (hand placed to chest) high when I was was 7 years old (AND SHORTER) ...
  Writings in Pompeii and Renaisance Florence & World War II Rome, to stay in one geogrhic region, all bemoan the "youth of today".
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  Perry Downingkcnewhaven
  1/02/14 12:34pm
  And they had to walk to school five miles, in the snow, up hill, both ways!
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hashtagisreallypoundsignHamilton Nolan
1/02/14 10:39am
Sorry. This turned out ridiculously long winded.

1. I don't believe for a moment she goes to malls. Also, if she did, it would be Tysons Corner II, a place that people go to be seen and show off their well coiffed children and overpay for clothing and shoes. Besides who wants to troll through public places? I won't subject myself to the masses and I am literally nothing/no one special.

2. The Washington Post and their website is useless. The paper bored me. The only thing I went to that site for was the weather and they are screwing that up now also. So the washington post is entirely useless to me now. Unless I need to line something to catch refuse. Like a table or more likely a pet cage. Which I don't. I won't support this drivel. I'd buy blank paper before I bought another Washington post. (same reason why I won't buy anything Redskins - Daniel Snyder can go f himself, which he totally probably would for the right price.)

3. every time someone writes something like this: How do we expect children to navigate through this tawdry muck to become the sort of people most of us would like to know? honestly it makes me want to punch the person in the face. I know, this is revolutionary for rich people who hire other people to raise their children for them, but there are things called parents who theoretically are there to do something called.... parent... their children in situations like this.

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  Muscatohashtagisreallypoundsign
  1/02/14 12:39pm
  To seize on only one of your points - Oh, God, that website. How is it possible that a major American newspaper, for that is what for better or worse the rag remains,can make it so damn unpleasant to actually get any news? Let alone any sense of what living in its city is - something that I thought was actually the goal and point of a good paper. Hate, hate, hate it.
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  hashtagisreallypoundsignMuscato
  1/02/14 1:00pm
  Sadly it is an excellent representation of the type of people who live in md/dc/va.
  
  But you are totally right. When I first lived here 20 years ago I liked the newspaper. To be fair though, I came from a really small town in which the biggest news in the paper was a high school football game or a new business opening up. But now. No way. Pretentious full of itself. Just like people who live here.
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KulturVulturHamilton Nolan
1/02/14 10:02am
"Valium recommended." There's your answer right there! The insidious danger of the benzo......
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  larryherkimerKulturVultur
  1/02/14 11:19am
  Take a look around a mall, if you can bear to enter. Valium recommended.
  
  Maybe our decay is being caused by Washington Post columnists promoting drug use
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  KulturVulturlarryherkimer
  1/02/14 11:21am
  It sure isn't helping...
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BuffaloRudeHamilton Nolan
1/02/14 10:52am

Envy is the core emotion driving the current debate about income inequality and the notion that the poor are poor because the rich are rich. Nonsense. The economy is not, in fact, a pie. When one gets a bigger slice, others do not ipso facto get a smaller one. Instead of redistributing wealth to spread misery around, the goal should be to make the poor richer, which means jobs, education and tax/regulation relief for employers.

Wow. Just wow.
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  Just SayingBuffaloRude
  1/02/14 8:18pm
  Welcome to 1980.
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SplitAnotherAtomHamilton Nolan
1/02/14 10:09am
And I am reminded why the editorial board at my old paper referred to her as the Alarmist Mommy in the Minivan.
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TBoniusHamilton Nolan
1/02/14 10:44am
"Do weak economies and moral decay go hand in hand? We certainly seem poised to find out." I've noticed that this non-argument form is a favorite with people like Sarah Palin and other social conservatives, as way of implying a causes b without any evidence. A variant goes like this, "Has America's embrace of secular liberalism led to its economic decline?" Answer: "It certainly hasn't helped". You can insinuate anything by that logic: Will Miley Cyrus's twerking fiasco drive up US health care costs? We certainly seem poised to find out'.
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