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    JohnMcClanesSmirkHamilton Nolan
    12/17/13 4:00pm

    Fuck me. Malls were my last excuse to eat Auntie Annie's pretzeldogs. It's not like I can seek out that shit..

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      nicnack74JohnMcClanesSmirk
      12/17/13 4:01pm

      That shit is a national treasure. Never fear. There are always airports.

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      JohnMcClanesSmirknicnack74
      12/17/13 4:04pm

      Great, now I have to buy bogus plane tickets just to hide my shame. Before I could just act like I was shopping for lingerie.

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    muffin_cupcakeHamilton Nolan
    12/17/13 4:09pm

    Outside of the Christmas season, going to the mall has become a depressing experience, especially on week days. I'm typically the only customer walking by, so the salespeople in the kiosks desperately try to get my attention. . . and then I go into a store, and I'm the only customer , so the perky salespeople won't stop watching me and asking if I need help every 90 seconds. (Yes, I know their managers force them to do this) At department stores, where they work on commission, you get caught in this weird struggle where they all try to be the first person to talk to you — and then, if you ask anyone for help besides whoever was first, they get very upset (even if they're nowhere to be found when you're ready to try on a pair of shoes). The desperation stresses me out — it makes me feel bad when I don't buy anything.

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      Cherith Cutestorymuffin_cupcake
      12/17/13 4:19pm

      I am the same exact way about feeling awkward and guilty if I am alone in a store and don't buy anything.

      It is weird thought because I don't doubt malls are dying but I still even can't get a good parking spot at the mall on most days.

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    Sparkle_MotionHamilton Nolan
    12/17/13 4:04pm

    An Ode to Mall

    The Mall is gone. The Mall is dead.
    Concrete tombs long shorn of glee.

    But Orange Julius - O' Orange Julius!
    I shed a tear for thee.


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      JennifartSparkle_Motion
      12/17/13 7:09pm

      That was beautiful.

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      Sparkle_MotionJennifart
      12/17/13 7:12pm

      Thank you.

      And so was Orange Julius, of course.

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    This Guy I KnowHamilton Nolan
    12/17/13 4:20pm

    From the USA Today article:

    "Prosperous malls are doing better, while struggling malls (which is to say, most of them) are doing worse."

    That right there is a sign of mall inequality. Maybe some mall prosperity redistribution is in order.

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