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    MegSwanNeetzan Zimmerman
    12/17/13 4:17pm

    Actual attorneys who aren't idiots know that using the "Esq." honorifc is not something you bestow upon yourself. For example, judges do not refer to themselves as "The Honorable" because that is crazy. Yet, here we are. I would never sign my name "MegSwan, Esq." even though I'm a real life attorney (I swear! Ask me about torts! No, don't) because that is some gauche shit right there. But then again, this is a guy who participated in SantaCon and got a public handjob, so probably not dealing with the most sophisticated person. You sir, are no Van Buren!

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      jennyroundthebendMegSwan
      12/17/13 4:25pm

      Agreed. Also, I don't think I've ever said "drafting up a lawsuit..." or start talking about how drunk my client was in a cease and desist letter. This is poor pretend lawyering.

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      Cherith CutestoryMegSwan
      12/17/13 4:29pm

      I completely agree but I will say that I have been sent letters and e-mails by people who sign off "Esq." And I never checked their bar status or anything but I am pretty sure they are real lawyers. So it is a thing some idiots do.

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    marklarmarklarNeetzan Zimmerman
    12/17/13 4:06pm

    Wait...no way he would be dumb enough to use his real name while pretending to be the lawyer right? That's not possible is it?

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      burningsensationmarklarmarklar
      12/17/13 4:13pm

      Indeed, it is possible.

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      marklarmarklarburningsensation
      12/17/13 4:20pm

      I mean, the funniest part is that nobody knew who the Handjob Santa was before this. The video that was posted was taken from behind and you can't see either of their faces. So this card carrying mensa member comes along and reveals his entire identity while posing as his own lawyer and trying to get it taken down. You can't make that up.

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    boweryboyNeetzan Zimmerman
    12/17/13 4:07pm

    He has really let himself go. The woman in the video does not appear to be his wife...

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      BoSephusboweryboy
      12/17/13 4:15pm

      Oh IDK, I think it could be. Hard to tell the between a prof wedding photo and a drunken hot mess photo.

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      DeGeorgetownboweryboy
      12/17/13 4:15pm

      I guess that's why he's so desperate to have the article removed.

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    Max ContrarianNeetzan Zimmerman
    12/17/13 4:08pm

    Neetzan: I never thought I'd say this, but this is possibly the funniest thing I've ever seen on Gawker.

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      beatrixkiddoMax Contrarian
      12/17/13 4:22pm

      I know, this is the best!

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      victornightingaleMax Contrarian
      12/17/13 4:29pm

      A thousand times "YES!"

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    gopheritNeetzan Zimmerman
    12/17/13 4:28pm

    I guess that COULD be his wife. I am on the fence.

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      marklarmarklargopherit
      12/17/13 4:57pm

      It definitely could be his wife, hard to say one way or another, however I will say that public handjobs on drunken Santa-husband is not really wife territory. That's much more "drunk girl he just met at the bar" territory.

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      dgstangopherit
      12/17/13 5:01pm

      No way that's his wife. Anyone who's been married any length of time knows that wives don't give public handies. I'd be saving a lot of money if they did.

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    Yield2no1Neetzan Zimmerman
    12/17/13 4:25pm

    R.I.P. Gawker. Once a great website for news/injustices/helpful advice that the citizens of this country should be aware of, is now an outlet for public humiliation and degradation.

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      blue83Yield2no1
      12/17/13 4:38pm

      Gawker posted a funny clip of a drunk, anonymous, faceless guy in a Santa outfit getting a handy. In two days it would have disappeared from memory and that would have been the end of it.

      Then this guy sends an amateurish email pretending to be a lawyer demanding the story be taken down while claiming defamation and threatening a lawsuit... all while using his own name?? Nah. He brought it on himself.

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      Max ContrarianYield2no1
      12/17/13 5:00pm

      Since when?

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    Defender90CANeetzan Zimmerman
    12/17/13 4:20pm

    As soon as I read that he was "drafting up a lawsuit," I knew this was not exactly Oliver Wendell Holmes.

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      jasonmcintyresuglysonDefender90CA
      12/17/13 4:26pm

      This guy knows an hj when he sees it.

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      jennyroundthebendDefender90CA
      12/17/13 4:32pm

      Same here. No one says that.

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    Gr8DaneNeetzan Zimmerman
    12/17/13 4:06pm
    GIF
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      FerminaDazaGr8Dane
      12/17/13 4:14pm
      GIF
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      Bwleon7Gr8Dane
      12/17/13 4:46pm
      GIF
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    justgawkingNeetzan Zimmerman
    12/17/13 4:11pm

    Stupid Question: Does attorney client privilege apply when one is one's own lawyer defending oneself dressed as Santa?

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      Ginger Is A Constructjustgawking
      12/17/13 5:28pm

      If he can just get enough children to write letters to Santa saying that all they want for Christmas is a public handjob video of Santa, then by golly, that defense might work!

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      justgawkingGinger Is A Construct
      12/17/13 5:31pm

      That's brilliant! It's definitely worth a try. I'm also glad nobody said "something something Santa Clause" , because it's a terrible pun and a dreadful movie. Nice work.

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    OutragedNeetzan Zimmerman
    12/17/13 4:18pm

    He certainly gets around...

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      ibeeflowerOutraged
      12/17/13 4:26pm

      This video was really stupid. When I get married, I hope I don't do this. And if I have someone film "precious moments" like this, I hope it won't be so staged/creepy. I couldn't even finish watching it.

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      grancy2Outraged
      12/17/13 4:33pm

      This video is fucking insane. Someone please cut it together with the Santa handjob video.

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