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    toothpetardRob Bricken
    12/09/13 1:16pm

    It's nice they put this kind of inventiveness toward coming up with church.

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      onetosee4onetoothpetard
      12/09/13 1:28pm

      No The early church relived the acts of the emperors. If speaking of the crimes of certain priest today well they too have learned evil well and put God to shame for there acts and He will repay then that.

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      toothpetardonetosee4one
      12/09/13 1:29pm

      Whatever flips your pancake.

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    %^$#@Rob Bricken
    12/09/13 1:15pm

    It's worth reiterating that claims of sexual depravity were a common means of posthumous character assassination for disliked political leaders in Roman society. How much of this actually happened is very open to debate, like the intro says.

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      Singlestick%^$#@
      12/09/13 1:47pm

      But the Emperor Augustus banished his own daughter, Julia, to the island of Pandataria with her mother, Scribonia in 2 B.C. This was supposedly because of immoral behavior. Julia was allowed no pleasures whatsoever on her island banishment, including even wine. After five years, Augustus moved Julia and Scribonia to luxurious dwellings on the mainland, in Rhegium, southern Italy. Yet Julia was still isolated, except for the occasional news of her children being slowly killed off one by one.

      http://www.forumancientcoins.com/Articles/Julia…

      Some of the vices ascribed to the Romans and others seem sketchy, but in some cases the circumstantial evidence is credible.

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      %^$#@Singlestick
      12/09/13 1:51pm

      I'm not claiming otherwise, and it's worth noting that the particular anecdote you mention is very much in what we know of Augstus' character, he was very down on "immoral behavior" that wasn't his, especially among family members.

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    LizTaylorsEarringsRob Bricken
    12/09/13 1:26pm

    had a sex library full of illustrated works so he could just point to what he wanted.

    When I open my brothel/themed-roomed* hotel, I am stealing this for ease of use for the clients.

    *Like in the Simpsons. Would you like to be Cleopatra and Caesar? Or Knight and Lady? Here at LizTaylorsEarrings Pleasure Palace, we make all your dreams come true!

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      collexLizTaylorsEarrings
      12/09/13 1:35pm

      I like this project:

      A) Would you have a Batman-Catwoman theme room? Or would I have to use the rooftop?

      B) Are the costumes included with the room?

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      LizTaylorsEarringscollex
      12/09/13 1:39pm

      A) Yes. We're pretty flexible (heh). You can start off on the roof!

      B) There are options. The lower-tier is Bring Your Own. Highest-Tier is customized costumes to fit you. Might possibly include adventures.

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    Raejin99Rob Bricken
    12/09/13 1:40pm

    Regarding #2, how does one even become recognized as an anal sex expert? I mean, if these were people to be hired by the emperor, one would assume they'd have to be vetted by someone. Perhaps, you could say, by...analist analysts? :D

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      GemmabetaRaejin99
      12/09/13 2:48pm

      Presumably the Guild of Prostitutes offered certification.

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      Rob BrickenRaejin99
      12/09/13 5:06pm

      Of course there was accreditation. They wouldn't let just anybody become analysis therapists, often known as "analrapists."

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    barbotrobotRob Bricken
    12/09/13 1:53pm

    "...dubbed analists..."

    I can't stop laughing at the idea of a really confused data cruncher showing up for the interview.

    he supposedly defiled every single part of his body

    I...can someone please post details of this?

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      DarthClem3barbotrobot
      12/09/13 2:17pm

      I assume every part of his body was at some point stuck into something or had something stuck into it.

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      Rob BrickenDarthClem3
      12/09/13 5:02pm

      I imagine those hard to reach places were used as targets for various bodily fluids.

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    regisRob Bricken
    12/09/13 2:05pm

    Now I want to go watch "I, Claudius" again. So fabulous.

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      Rob Brickenregis
      12/09/13 5:04pm

      I KNOW, right? Really, this list would be better if it contained nothing but clips from I, Claudius. Caligula's dance of the dawn is magic.

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      SplitAnotherAtomregis
      12/10/13 10:11am

      Amazon Prime has it on streaming. I'd marathon it if I didn't have an extremely impressionable toddler running around.

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    Brainchild129Rob Bricken
    12/09/13 1:19pm

    As fun as The Twelve Caesars can be to read, Suetonius really should be taken with a big grain of salt. He had a major vendetta against the Julio-Claudians, so of course he published any nasty story he could find or hear about them, and most of them (especially where Caligula or Nero is involved) have entered the public consciousness. I'm not saying that such men were perfect angels, because they weren't by any means, but it's impossible to tell anymore what stories are true and what are merely ancient Roman tabloid fodder.

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      %^$#@Brainchild129
      12/09/13 1:34pm

      This really can't be said loudly or often enough. Our sense of history is only as good as our sources, and unfortunately our sources for this kind of thing are a long way from being neutral parties.

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      VivaLaManual%^$#@
      12/09/13 1:54pm

      That's why the bible should be discarded as proof of anything. It was written with extreme bias over the course of hundreds of years.

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    Thayder, SJWRob Bricken
    12/09/13 1:20pm

    Roman Emperors... i thought this was about Congress there for a minute...

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      DarthClem3Thayder, SJW
      12/09/13 1:35pm

      Jay Leno, ladies and gentlemen! Give him a hand!

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      Rob BrickenThayder, SJW
      12/09/13 5:03pm

      "And they were still more productive than Congress!" /cue laugh track

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    Citizen-SnipsRob Bricken
    12/09/13 1:34pm

    My guess is that Tiberius would have hailed the invention of the internet as pretty much the greatest thing ever.

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      Rob BrickenCitizen-Snips
      12/09/13 5:04pm

      "Meh, not enough baby-fucking."

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    James SavikRob Bricken
    12/09/13 6:49pm

    I've got this picture in my head of a guy applying for the "anal sex expert" position with the Roman Civil Service. Is there a certification process? University degree program? Apprenticeship?

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      leicesterJames Savik
      12/09/13 8:05pm

      And how about that benefits package?

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      VegemightyJames Savik
      12/09/13 10:56pm

      And you just know that some asshole in HR said that they are looking for five years experience in a technique that was only invented three years earlier.

      Reply