Kinja reply list

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KinglyCitrusAdam Weinstein
11/27/13 4:42pm
So... what if your entire family (except your one gay cousin) is like your racist, sexist old uncle? What if their pastimes include printing out and passing around birther emails and collecting various confederate-flag knick knacks? What if you actually find yourself wondering if you should *remove* your YES WE CAN bumper sticker so as to avoid being roasted for your beliefs by literally everyone (except your gay cousin) over Thanksgiving dinner? What the fuck then?
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  deadkittenKinglyCitrus
  11/27/13 4:45pm
  Booze.
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  ManchuCandidateKinglyCitrus
  11/27/13 4:46pm
  Denny's is always open.
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MeanMrMustardAdam Weinstein
11/27/13 5:13pm
And these were the good old days. At least people were around to argue, shout, laugh, talk. Be grateful. My family has been dying off quickly these past few years. The houses where we all celebrated are now empty or sold, new memories being made by strangers. I'm now down to "nobody wants to bother, it's too depressing, we're going to the Bahamas, sorry," or some other story. What do you do when no one is around?
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  GoOnWithoutMeMeanMrMustard
  11/27/13 5:37pm
  I'm not sure but didn't just want to star and go. Volunteering has always helped me get through social times I didn't want to participate in for various reasons. Then I cry.
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  missmsryMeanMrMustard
  11/27/13 5:51pm
  That is why people have children, embrace their step-children and all the grandbabies, whether related by blood or not, and tolerate their in-laws, even from previous marriages. It's called FAMILY. Happy Thanksgiving, ya'll!
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ManchuCandidateAdam Weinstein
11/27/13 4:35pm
I wish I had a racist uncle instead of the pompous blowhard who won't/can't shut up about how much money he made (till he lost it all.)
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  Uncle ChigurhManchuCandidate
  11/27/13 4:44pm
  Ha, my uncle was president of Norwest Bank and CEO of Wells Fargo after they merged. He delighted in giving me and my brother expensive and obnoxiously loud toys because he knew it would annoy the fuck out of my mom.
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  G3istbotManchuCandidate
  11/27/13 10:30pm
  I've got not one, but two of those uncles.
  
  Both of them have that "perfect" middle class family that's supposed to be the American dream. They constantly talk it up about all these trips or activities that they do, but end up complaining usually about how they are being bled dry by the current administration.
  
  Ironically, always the worst christmas gift givers too, always have been, probably always will be.
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MudbudAdam Weinstein
11/27/13 4:47pm

What, you don't like unconditional love?

All love should be conditional. Otherwise you're inviting people to abuse you.
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  Hannibal the CannibalMudbud
  11/27/13 4:53pm
  True unconditional love is kind of creepy, really. Pretty much all "normal" love is conditional on some level.
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Cherith CutestoryAdam Weinstein
11/27/13 4:35pm

"What do you call an Italian hooker? A pastatute!"

Ha, classic. I love you, Uncle Bobby.
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  momofpeanutCherith Cutestory
  11/27/13 4:46pm
  My husband is going to love that! So would his Nonna....RIP Nonna! I'm going to save it for when the sauce gets dripped on the bird.
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  KathyrnLCherith Cutestory
  11/27/13 5:32pm
  Half my (very large) family is Italian and I think they may like the answer 'a pastatute' better than the usual reply: 'cousin Angie'.
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Mok, the Magic ManAdam Weinstein
11/27/13 4:50pm

"A bitch who can't keep her mouth shut."
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  Cherith CutestoryMok, the Magic Man
  11/27/13 5:14pm
  What do you call an Italian hooker?
  
  Fourteen!
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  UngratefulDeadMok, the Magic Man
  11/27/13 6:08pm
  +1000 bunga bunga parties.
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ad infinitumAdam Weinstein
11/27/13 4:42pm
Both my parents are dead and my siblings live far away, so I generally spend holidays with my mother's family in Orange Country, all of whom are deeply racist, sexist, xenophobic Fox News lovers. We get along surprisingly well, however; last Thanksgiving my 90-year-old grandmother and I traded stories about volunteering at Mitt Romney phone banks (her) and Planned Parenthood (me). I'm proud of her for remaining involved and politically active, even if I strongly disagree with her politically, and she's proud of me for basically the same reason, even if she thinks I'm an abortion-loving feminazi. Yay for tolerance!
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  Wichitaad infinitum
  11/27/13 4:51pm
  Now there's a holiday story to warm the soul!
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  missmsryad infinitum
  11/27/13 5:47pm
  I think I love both of you.
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Sean RAdam Weinstein
11/27/13 6:22pm
Murder your shit family, dipshit. Be the change you seek.
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  BigPlopsSean R
  11/29/13 3:31pm
  Seriously, what's with this taking for granted that we all come from such terrible stock?
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Montauk MonsterAdam Weinstein
11/27/13 6:36pm
It's amazing how quickly the racist uncles can drop their constant use of the n-word once someone in the family has a black baby. Why, it's almost as if they're embarrassed of themselves once a black person (relative, even!) is around. Told my mom on the drive home last year that I would have started having black babies ages ago, if I had known that's all it took.
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CoopermanAdam Weinstein
11/27/13 4:35pm
This is so true that I feel the need to tell a therapist exactly where on the doll this article touched me.
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  Kyote37Cooperman
  11/27/13 5:28pm
  There's certainly a great truth to this. One person being the embarassment for all the family helps a lot.
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