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    lethekkErin Gloria Ryan
    11/08/13 11:35am

    There was a commercial on TV recently that stated that 1 in 3 girls will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime. My husband's friend was over, and expressed disbelief at the statistic. He asked why more women didn't report it if they were completely innocent.

    THIS IS THE ANSWER.

    When you come forward, no one believes you. If they do, you have to tell your story over and over and over to different people. In the end, it's your word against his, and there's no proof, so everyone drops it. And then you have to live with the stigma of making a 'false' accusation (because after all, if it wasn't false then why didn't he get arrested?).

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      QueenArthurPundragonlethekk
      11/08/13 11:39am

      Gee, maybe because they hear wieners like this guy saying he thinks it's possible to not be innocent in one's rape.

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      RuthSlayderGinsburglethekk
      11/08/13 11:51am

      Because douchebags automatically assume victims weren't "completely innocent" when they don't report being raped...? I wonder if that has anything to do with it.

      Seriously, that is some bullshit right there.

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    FluterDaleErin Gloria Ryan
    11/08/13 11:40am

    I'm sorry, I keep getting hung up in the first paragraphs, where the boys who committed the thrice-illegal crime of a.) gang-raping b.) someone who isn't old enough to consent even if they were c.) sober enough to consent then seek to shame the victim for .... what? Not anticipating that they were, in fact, giant rapist douchecanoes?

    We live in a world where being a victim of a crime is the basis for bullying.

    Is it drink o'clock?


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      horsenponyFluterDale
      11/08/13 11:45am

      My coworker and I are trying to find a good place for lunch beers. This gif will have to do for now

      GIF
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      FluterDalehorsenpony
      11/08/13 11:48am
      GIF



      Pulling up a chair to that party.

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    MidwestMsErin Gloria Ryan
    11/08/13 12:17pm

    I have literally one thousand questions, but I must ask first: WHERE IN THE FUCKING FUCK ARE THESE FUCK-FACES' PARENTS?! Do they NOT have a computer? Do they NOT see pictures of their sons everywhere with WORDS THAT DESCRIBE THEM COMMITTING HEINOUS CRIMES.

    SO MANY QUESTIONS, but an answer to this one is a fucking good start. I know better questions to ask are the broader ones about society and rape culture — I GET THAT — but WHERE THE FUCK ARE THEIR PARENTS. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

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      The secret ingredient is phoneMidwestMs
      11/08/13 12:31pm

      One of their parents is a police officer, so you know, he's covering for them.

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      MidwestMsThe secret ingredient is phone
      11/08/13 12:32pm

      Jesus fucking Christ. It never ends.

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    itcamefromthefutureErin Gloria Ryan
    11/08/13 1:14pm

    I was gang raped. I was 21 it was my first year drinking, I never liked it much and I left my drink alone and they put a roofie in it. I had only one drink that night. Then I let them share a cab to take me home (I suddenly felt so sleepy and heavy... I could not walk... but maybe it was my marathon training... I had been running so much) They carried me up the stairs "How nice" I thought "of them to help me" I gave them my keys so they could help me get inside I could not open the door. I was so trusting and naive.

    I woke up and they were in the middle of raping me. I said "no" I started to cry. But I could not really move. I felt so limp. Like I was underwater. I remember one guy who was watching saying "let's go man. That's enough. She's waking up."

    WHAT THE FUCK?

    Then they stole all my stuff, my computer my video editing equipment (I made a living editing wedding videos. I had to spend weeks telling all these brides, "I'm sorry I lost the most important video in your life" I still feel guilty about that and can't shake it, even though I know it's their fault not mine) I hated that the most for some reason. I took a lot of pride in my work and they took it away from me and made me feel like shit.

    Yet, I still, I think I was pretty tough about this. I was a feminist going in and a feminist coming out but it still hit me hard and set me back. I had mental and physical heath issues. What was a minor "body image problem" turned in to anorexia. And it took three years to get out of that waste of life of a disease.

    I talk about it. I tell people because I want them to know it's nice normal women that this happen to. I teach math at a community college. I'm married now, I have a good life and I think it's OK now.

    They never found them.

    This article was a little triggering, I bet my attackers were very similar but they were in New York City. So don't think this can't happen here. Don't think it can't happen to you.

    I thought maybe I was too nerdy and shy for that. That's the only "blame" I'll take.

    I bet it could be so much much harder. And that scares me to death.

    The things I'd do to these boys.
    I am glad they are a ocean away. It has taken time but my anger is a living thing. It is white hot and ready, and I scare myself some of the time. I used to be so peaceful.


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      Celia the Vampire Slaying Vampireitcamefromthefuture
      11/08/13 1:30pm

      Responding to de-gray your important story and to tell you how fucking sorry and angry I am for you. I too have experienced the anger that comes post-rape (I also had a similar experience one time where I could not move during the rape. It was the only time [I fought during other assaults/rapes]. But my body quit on me and I couldn't fight anymore and simply had to stop moving. That part hit me really hard <3).

      I hope those rapists wound up getting caught. Because of course they've done this to someone else and of course there was nothing we victims can do about that a lot of the time. Because no one believes us, no one hears us. Not people in the position to get them off the streets, to start ensuring children are taught about consent and agency.

      You are a hero (I'm sure you are slightly uncomfortable with me calling you that, but you are). By telling your story to all who will hear, by fighting, by living, by caring. Our peace may have been shattered, but look how far we've come.

      This post should not be in the gray so thanks again for sharing.

      ETA: I've also been robbed by rapists and it's a violation on top of a violation. Just another method of dehumanizing their victim so they can feel okay with the evil perpetrated. And you can't even think about your shit being gone until well after the fact because...well...you're trying to cope with your rape. I hope these men are suffering wherever they are now. Pigs.

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      benjaminalloveritcamefromthefuture
      11/08/13 1:35pm

      I'm so sorry that happened. That sounds just awful. But thank you, as well, for telling the story. I think it makes other victims feel less self-critical when they hear other people talk about struggling with it.

      I was 19, and it took me a lot longer than i would have ever thought to figure out how to get past some of the heavier damage. The rapist was a serial offender, and he'd raped a 13 year old the week before me. She went tot the police. She told them everything and even named him, but they just didn't arrest him. If they had, he would never have had the chance to follow me home that night, and that makes me pretty angry. But i'm even more angry for her, because at least I had 6 more years of healthy development under my belt and a very clear understanding of what rape was. She was just a little girl.

      That's what gets me about these stories, about girls so young in these horrible situations. Knowing how deeply traumatized and psychologically/sexually fucked up i was, as an independent feminist adult, i just can't even imagine what this does to the psyche of a child.

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    imaginaryfriendErin Gloria Ryan
    11/08/13 11:34am

    Were these guys popular athletes or something at their school?

    Because that's how you get the authorities to look the other way in American schools. Well, either that or being from a rich family.

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      trrripletimaginaryfriend
      11/08/13 11:38am

      Being an athelete isn't as big a deal outside the US, as sport is generally done by clubs rather than high schools and colleges.

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      katbot8900imaginaryfriend
      11/08/13 11:38am

      one of the "Roast Busters" has a father in the police force and another one's dad is an actor from the Matrix

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    ilovecarolburnettErin Gloria Ryan
    11/08/13 11:40am

    When people say they don't understand the meaning of the term rape culture, please refer them to this article. Why did this group continue to exist for so long? Rape culture. Why did the adults do nothing? Rape culture. Why did the police do nothing? Rape culture. Why did the school do nothing? Rape culture. Why did nobody do fucking anything? Rape culture.

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      RuthSlayderGinsburgilovecarolburnett
      11/08/13 12:03pm

      I haven't been able to post images for days (thanks, Kinja!) so, just visualize Samuel L. Jackson solemnly clapping in place of this post.

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      ilovecarolburnettRuthSlayderGinsburg
      11/08/13 12:04pm

      Thank you.

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    OliviaTheVegetarianErin Gloria Ryan
    11/08/13 11:38am

    http://www.change.org/petitions/prim...

    This needs to end now. I need to know how to help, because I'm so fucking sick of seeing shit like this. How can I help?

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      TzaOliviaTheVegetarian
      11/08/13 11:47am

      Sadly that petition feels like all I can do.

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      OliviaTheVegetarianTza
      11/08/13 11:52am

      I know, it's the most depressing thing about this whole scandal. There is almost nothing we can do about it, but let our blood boil.

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    horsenponyErin Gloria Ryan
    11/08/13 11:34am

    Mmmkay well Friday 5pm can kick in now...

    GIF
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      snobbyonehorsenpony
      11/08/13 12:06pm

      That smile. It's priceless!!

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      needlesstosayhorsenpony
      11/08/13 12:24pm

      This double posted, so I'm going to just put in another gif to reiterate...

      GIF
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    RuthSlayderGinsburgErin Gloria Ryan
    11/08/13 11:48am

    So let me get this straight. They knew these boys were involved in an incident that led to reports being filed with the police for sexual assault, and continued to foster an environment where these boys had complete access to their younger female peers?

    For FUCKS SAKE.

    The one thing I am happy about - the more the school/police are shamed in the media, the more likely it is that other schools/police departments won't turn a blind eye in the future. Penn State was an atrocity, but I truly think other schools have seen the fallout and have noted that it's better to take action than to cover it up and hope for the best. This is my fervent optimistic hope.

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      ilovecarolburnettRuthSlayderGinsburg
      11/08/13 11:55am

      I have the same fervent hope but I am not so optimistic that rape culture—entrenched seemingly since the dawn of human history—will go so quietly into the night. But you never know. Sometimes society surprises you by suddenly making rapid progress.

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      RuthSlayderGinsburgilovecarolburnett
      11/08/13 12:00pm

      Oh, it's not going to disappear overnight. But I think social media has provided, almost counterintuitively, an AMAZING tool to fight it - b/c the prevalence of rape culture means that rapists often don't fully grasp that what they've done is rape. They think it's a bragworthy conquest. So, they post that shit to social media...and once it's on the internet, it's FOREVER.

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    UrbanAchieverErin Gloria Ryan
    11/08/13 11:55am

    One of the alleged rapists is the son of a local police officer. Might go some way towards explaining (though not excusing) why it took police so long to follow up on all this.

    "One 13-year-old said that in her police interview she was made to believe she consented to the sex. Devastated, she never heard from the police again - until yesterday"

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      UrbanAchieverUrbanAchiever
      11/08/13 11:57am

      Article link here.

      Also, my gif thoughts on this whole thing.

      GIF
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      FenbeastUrbanAchiever
      11/08/13 1:01pm

      She's THIRTEEN. She is legally INCAPABLE of consenting. That's all there is to that. Of course, God forbid you comfort a victim by letting her know that according to the law, she could have begged the boy to have sex with her and it STILL doesn't count as consent. Because while she's underage, she CAN'T consent. At all. Ever.

      These people make me sick.

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